I think there's no denying that I'm loving pregnancy.
I feel good. I've been told I'm "glowing". My belly is getting rounder, and I love rubbing it every now and again.
But, for some reason, I still can't get the whole weight issue out of the back of my head.
I remember when my friend Kim was pregnant and she told me it was hard seeing the number on the scale going up and up. I was baffled by her comment.
As a non-pregnant person, I just couldn't imagine how she could even think that way. How could the number NOT go up? How could you worry about it when you're pregnant? That was just silly.
Then I got pregnant. And the number on the scale kept going up and up.
And then I went to a prenatal yoga class and started freaking out that the girls in the row ahead of me who were 26 weeks pregnant didn't even look pregnant AT ALL from behind. When I looked at myself in those giant yoga mirrors, I didn't really like the chubby back, arms and thighs staring back at me.
The truth is, I'm not letting it take over my life, by any stretch of the imagination. I don't obsess. I'm happy. But, at the same time, it's hard to just turn off this mentality that thin is perfect and right and lovely. Even when pregnant... all you should do is gain a bump. The rest of the weight gain? Well, that's just unsightly.
Anyway. Even though I've gained more than the books say I should have by now (one email actually said 'The weight gain has just barely begun'... at 20 weeks!! Does gaining 14.5 lbs. count as 'barely beginning'??) - and even though I'm about to bypass my husband in total poundage... I'm trying to be okay with it.
After all, this is the only time in my life where I can indulge when I feel like it and not really fret over those extra calories.
I should be enjoying it! Taking it all in! Loving it!
And if somebody would just tell those women in my yoga class...