Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Reader Discretion Advised

Attention: If you don't want to know something weird that's happening with my boobs, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT continue reading. (I wrote that mainly for my brother. Hope you appreciate it, Chris!)

So. Something's up with my jubblies.

I've heard all about the weird and wonderful things that happen to your body during pregnancy. You change. You adapt. Your body does some crazy things, all in the name of growing a human being. I understand it and accept it all for the most part as it happens to me.

However - there is nothing that can prepare you for the first time that stuff leaks out of your boobs. I now know this from first-hand experience.

The other day, I woke up from a nap with a big wet spot on my shirt - right over the boob area. I thought "Hmm... that's odd. A wet spot right there. In a perfect circle." I had a feeling it wasn't drool.

So I decided to experiment a little to find out what was up with my gazoongas (as Andrew started calling them ever since they grew to gargantuan proportions during pregnancy).

**THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD REALLY STOP READING, CHRIS.**

Alright. I admit it. I wanted to know what was up. I wanted to know if it was what I thought it was. So... I gave my boob a little squeeze.

And stuff came out. Clear liquid stuff.

GAH!!!! Can I just tell you how WEIRD it is to see stuff come out of your boob when you squeeze it for the first time?? It's WEIRD. Very, very weird.

As normal and as natural as all this is supposed to be, I found it a little freakish that my boobs were already leaking. I'm only 22 weeks along! I'm not ready for leakage yet!

I told a few people about it, cause I just couldn't get over the weirdness of it all.

"My - you're going to have quite the milky, wh-white breasts" a friend said in her best southern accent (she was quoting a line from A League of Their Own that always makes us giggle).

"Imagine what it'll be like when you're actually breastfeeding!" Andrew said to me in amazement, "You'll be able to squirt clear across the room!"

So, I guess my booby leakage isn't as quite freaky as I thought.

Most people seem to find the whole thing udderly amusing.

(Oh yes, I went there.)

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