I'm sitting here listening to Anna snore right now. Quite loudly, too.
And, just like the fan that I find absolutely necessary at night time, her snoring is soothing me to sleep. I'm getting drowsier and drowsier. Therefore, this post is going to be a little bit less than exciting, as I'm feeling kind of coma-like. My apologies.
However, one special thing to note:
On this, the twenty-sixth day of March, in the year two-thousand and ten, my little Anna put herself to sleep in her crib for a morning nap.
My goodness, she's advanced.
Seriously. She's only 7 weeks old and still quite little and in need of a lot of attention. But this morning, after I snuggled with her, read her a story and rocked her in the glider in her nursery, I put her down on her soft flannel sheet in her crib with her soother and she lay there, happy and content for a half an hour before peacefully drifting off to sleep on her own.
I am so lucky.
I'm sure if I have another baby, he or she will be the opposite of Anna. So I'm soaking up all the wonderful-ness that is Anna as much as I can.
She's perfect. She's the perfect baby. I have given birth to the perfect child.
Okay - enough with that. I don't want to get too annoying. Time for me to shut my eyes and drift off to sleep myself. To the sounds of baby snores.
Anyway, this just in from the world of Anna - She's cute! (As if you needed me to give you that update. We all know that, now don't we?)
Anna's napping right now. She's pretty sleepy today. As is her Mama. Anna napped when I took her for a walk to Shopper's. She napped when we got home. We napped together for an hour. And she fell promptly asleep after eating lunch. That's a sleepy baby!
She appears to be stirring right now. So I better make this quick...
Anna makes these crazy grunting noises when she's waking up. She actually makes them in her sleep, too. When she was first born and we brought her home, I was pretty worried that something was wrong. I thought she maybe had bad gas, I thought she couldn't breathe properly. Then I discovered (after asking my midwife) that the grunting noise was just something babies do.
I felt sorta dumb for asking. But there you go. Welcome to Motherhood.
I don't know anything about this little human being. So I'm constantly questioning my decisions and worrying about her development. Every little sound, every little habit she gets into... I'm always wondering if I'm doing it right. (I've heard this never goes away. Like... ever.)
I worry if she's sleeping enough (I'm not worrying about that today, of course). I worry if she's eating enough. I worry about if I'm talking to her or holding her enough. I worry about whether she's being intellectually stimulated enough. I worry about whether my milk is tainted with spicy foods or too much caffeine.
In short - I'm a bit neurotic.
But I feel like I have to be. She's relying on me. She can't do anything for herself yet. (Except for stretch. Which? Baby stretches are the CUTEST stretches in the world, I have to say).
She needs me so much right now. She needs to be held and loved and sung to and smiled at. She needs someone to tell her how beautiful she is. She needs to hear "Mommy's here" when she's sad. She needs lots of food. And warm arms to sleep in.
***Editor's note: I've been trying to write this blog post for 3 days. Seriously. Most of my time is spent feeding, changing, or rocking Anna to sleep. When she's finally asleep, I usually have to eat something, shower (if I'm lucky), do some laundry, or some other chore around the house. So blogging is no longer as easy as it once was. My apologies folks! But for now - let's get back to this (ir)regularly (un)scheduled blog.***
Another day. Home with my Anna.
Today is a good day. We've managed to take a mini-morning nap together, we went for a long walk and she slept soundly while Mama showered and ate her lunch. Hurrah! (I celebrate the little things.)
So little Anna is 6 weeks old this week (as of Thursday). And, even though it's super cliche, I have to say it... I honestly can't believe how fast the time has gone so far.
I haven't been home from work or school for 6 consecutive weeks since I was a kid without a part-time job. 6 weeks! That's a LONG time. But it hasn't felt like a long time at all. The time with my little munchkin is flying by.
This worries me somewhat. I don't want the whole year to go by in a blink because I'm totally loving the stay at home Mom thing so far. (I know, I know - it's only been 6 weeks. But still. I can tell I've got something good going on here.)
Who am I kidding? I've got something amazing. I've got a daughter.
Anyway - since I'm horrible at keeping up-to-date with things so far, I haven't written anything down in Anna's baby book. Which is why I'm going to start documenting it all here in the blog. In a little section I like to call:
Cute Things Anna Has Done So Far
She started smiling in reaction to her Mommy and Daddy as of March 12th. Before that, all the smiles she dished out were when she was drifting off to sleep (so her eyes were closed) or are attributed to gas and poop. This was her first honest-to-goodness smile. And it was directed at my face! Incredible feeling I tell you.
She's now 10 lbs. 2 oz. at 6 weeks old. She's a champ when it comes to eating. Just like her Mommy and Daddy. We're so proud.
She loves to snuggle. Anna will burrow her head into my neck and wrap her little arms around my arm and neck while she drifts off to sleep. Again - amazing feeling.
She's getting more and more alert now. She loves looking up at her play gym and gazing around at lights and shapes. She's very advanced for her age. (That's what Daddy and I think, anyway.)
Basically, she's just the cutest little thing in the universe.
Now was that a long hiatus or what?? Of course, I'm sure you can all appreciate and understand WHY I took so darn long to get back to blogging. My little squishy baby is quite demanding, yo! She's just lucky she's so cute.
Anywho. So what's been going on since I last left you? Well. For anyone who hasn't heard me blather on about the full birth story (without the gory details, of course) - here it is.
On Wednesday night - February the 3rd - I went out for dinner with two friends. As we were chatting, one of my friends was surprised to hear I hadn't packed my hospital bag yet.
"I have loads of time still! I have 2 weeks off work before my due date." I assured her. "Besides, even if she comes early, I'll still have time. In fact, I could go into labour tomorrow and I'd still have lots of time to pack my bag."
Now there's some powerful foreshadowing for you, folks.
The next morning, my alarm went off at 6am. And as I got out of bed, I felt some sort of gush of liquid come out from my nether regions. (That's as gory as I'll get - I promise).
Since it was still 2 weeks until my due date (2 weeks and 2 days to be exact) and since only like 8% of pregnant women have their water break on their own, I just figured I had peed myself. (Not totally unlikely during my pregnancy. Definitely not the first time - that's all I'll say.)
When the trickling down my leg didn't stop, I figured it couldn't be pee. But Andrew and I both decided that even if it was the start of labour, we STILL had loads of time. So he went to work. And I called my Mom. And then my midwife.
My midwife told me to just relax, get some sleep, spend some time resting in bed - and only to call her back if my contractions are close together or if I can't feel the baby move in my tummy anymore.
Of course, as soon as she said that - I started obsessing about feeling no movement.
At the same time, my contractions had started and were coming fast and hard.
So I called my midwife back and she told me to come to the hospital. At this point, I realized I did NOT have loads of time to pack my hospital bag.
So I called Andrew to come home, ran around my room finding things to throw in my bag, and tried to ignore the trickling of water soaking my underpants and the painful, painful contractions.
Labour. It's glamorous.
Anyway. So we got to the hospital at 10:30am. My midwife checked the baby. (She was doing just fine. She was quite happy, actually.) And she told me I was already 3cm dilated, so I should probably stay at the hospital.
I wasn't leaving until I had a baby.
(Oh. My. God.)
Then I spent the next hour and a bit walking around the halls, trying to get through the intense contraction pain. I even sat in the shower in my labour room. Nothing quite did the trick though (the pain of contractions? Yeah - it's the WORST PAIN EVER.) So I finally asked for the epidural.
I got my lovely, lovely epidural when I was around 6cm dilated. And within an hour, I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing. (It was at that moment that I thought to myself "Holy crap. I really have to be ready now. She's coming. Am I ready? Holy crap.") (Why I waited until I had to start pushing to consider if I was ready to have a baby or not is beyond me. But hey - I went with it.)
So I pushed for just over 2 hours and out came Anna at 5:40pm.
With a giant, giant cone head.
But she was still the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Andrew and I cried a little and then spent the next hour or so staring at her in awe.
Ever since then, our entire world has been about Anna. Everything I do, and all my energy each day, goes towards Mothering this little adorable being.
And in return - she amazes me. With her gorgeous little lips. Her cute nose. The funny faces she makes. Her sweet little chubby cheeks. Her pudgy thighs and wrists. The sounds she makes. The way she stretches. The look on her face when we bathe her. And the way she looks happy and drunk on milk right after nursing.
Everything about her is simply amazing.
I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy. I've spent my fair share of time stressed out and crying. I've never been so exhausted in my life. And I hate that my house is dirty and I can't shower until around 3 or 4pm most days. I've had to comb baby puke out of my hair more than once. And it's really, really hard to get a decent meal.
All of this while caring for a baby who doesn't really do anything except eat, poo and sleep.
But it's so worth it. Especially on days like today. When she looked up at my face and smiled a huge, gummy grin for the very first time.