Friday, January 29, 2010

37 weeks. You know what that means?

Tomorrow, I'll be 37 weeks preggers.

Which means...

...I will be officially FULL TERM.

...I'm feeling rather fat and frumpy.

...I could have this baby at any moment.

...wee one is all developed enough and ready to spring from my loins. way or another, I'll be a real Mama in 4 weeks or less.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

GO Train Archetypes

Over the past several years that I've been trucking it back and forth on the GO train, I've come across many different types of unnaturally annoying people.

In my travels, I've observed these folks from afar. And now, for your benefit, (should you choose to ride the GO train one day), I will document said archetypal GO train riders. Be sure to watch out for the following:

The Slurper
This type of rider is the guy that's so caught up in his own little world that he doesn't notice (or doesn't care) how loud he's being while sipping his morning cup of java (or any other hot beverage of his choosing). I had the pleasure of sitting next to this guy one day. Let me tell you - while trying to read a book to pass the time on your commute, there's nothing more annoying than listening to "Slllllllllurrrrrrrrrrrrppppp.... Aaaaaaah!" after each. And. Every. Single. Sip. I'm not kidding. EVERY sip he took from his cup would be accompanied by a LOUD slurp and a sigh of pleasure.
Best way to deal: I tried shooting him annoyed glances. Didn't seem to have any affect on the dude. My advice? Put your headphones on and listen to some music - cause this guy is NOT going to stop enjoying his beverage for you.

The Loud Yawner
One morning (again while trying to read), I encountered this lovely rider. She seemed to be unfortunately suffering from a lack of sleep. It happens. Not going to fault her for that. However, she also seemed to be suffering from a lack of volume control over her yawns. She yawned in very regular patterns the entire train ride - and each yawn concluded with a very loud, very annoying sound that can only be described as a half-sigh, half-snore type noise. So. Yes. I sat there, trying to ignore the odd noise that she uttered over and over again. But - much like Chinese Water Torture - the regular pattern of yawning noises eventually got to me.
Best way to deal: The Loud Yawner may notice your annoyed glances, but they seem to have no control over the whole experience. She looked at me as if to say "I can't help my yawning!" And even though I shot her a look that said "I know you can't help your yawning, but could you do something about that sigh/snore noise you're uttering?" she kept right on doing it. Go for the music/headphones again.

The Arm Rest Stealer
Kind of self-explanatory with this dude. He has no concept of personal space and absolutely NEEDS to spread out in his seat - much further than is socially acceptable. He doesn't care if you're crammed and uncomfortable in your seat. Nope. Not one, little bit. So don't expect a little arm shove or a loud sigh to have any affect on him.
Best way to deal: There's not much you can do if you have the unfortunate "pleasure" of sitting next to this rider. Might as well just suck it up. And next time, make sure you look before you choose your seat. If you see The Arm Rest Stealer spread out - keep moving. Also, watch for these guys: The Long Leg Stretchy Rider and The Heavily Laden With Bags and Other Paraphernalia Rider. Just as annoying as The Arm Rest Stealer.

The Crazy Cat Lady
This rider isn't usually found on the train during rush hour. She keeps irregular hours. So, I encountered her one day after I had an appointment, when I was commuting into work much later than normal. Crazy Cat Lady was covered in cat hair from her knees down. She had a giant bag of cross-stitch materials and was designing some lovely cat art to pass the time away. Her big, grey hair was swept up into a very messy bun. The crumbs on her Northern Reflections sweater seemed to call out to the world "I don't care how I look. I'm eccentric, dammit!" And her loud, awkward humming and toe-tapping (to no music, mind you) confirmed that she was in her own little world.
Best way to deal: Try to avoid eye-contact with Crazy Cat Lady, lest she involve you in a lengthy conversation about her 22 cats or the finer points of cross-stitching. Just put your head down and go about your business. Of course, if you want to be polite, you can offer a small smile in her direction as you're leaving the train. But, again, you want to avoid as much contact with her, just to be on the safe side.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Today, my blog is devoted to my pookie.

Poor Andrew is home sick with an achy body and an upset stomach. I've been nagging him off and on to go to the doctor. I've insisted he try some soup and drink lots of water. (I'm taking care of your son, Kathy... don't worry!) But he's still not feeling well.

So, hopefully this little anecdote will lift his spirits.

Yesterday, on Facebook, I changed my status update to: "Hez has a nice hubby." This was prompted by Andrew's very kindly offer to go into work a little bit late so that he could drive his pregnant wife to the GO train, thus allowing me to avoid trudging through the rain. So sweet.

My status update received a few comments from friends and family... the best one, hands down, from Andrew's aunt Bev.

Bev had this to say:

'A quick story about Andrew: A couple of years ago at Dan's 50th (you weren't able to be there) my friends and I were all complaining about our "muffin tops". Andrew walked past the group, stopped, and said " But ladies, that's the best part of the muffin!". They still ask about him to this day!'

I knew there was a reason I married that boy.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Good Monday Morning

Good morning everyone. And how are you on this rainy Monday morning?

In lieu of writing anything involving (as it's Monday and I'm still in my start-of-the-week-fog), here are a few fun facts about me:
  • I still have an eye twitch. It has been present (off and on) since well before Christmas. Considering that it's now January 25th, and my eye is still twitching, I'm about to snap.
  • I only have two more Mondays left at work. TWO!! Holy crap.
  • The family birthdays are well under way. Between January and February, and between Andrew's family and mine, we have 7 birthdays to celebrate. That's a lot of celebrating. Kind of exhausting, really.
  • Umm... what else?
  • Not much else to report.
  • So I'm going to sign off now.
  • Bye!

Friday, January 22, 2010


A while back, I had "Confession Fridays". It didn't really catch on. I guess I didn't feel like airing my dirty laundry in blogger-land every single Friday for all of my dear readers to point and judge and look disapprovingly at their computer screens/indirectly at me.

But - I'm over that now.

Time for "Confession Friday" again!

My confessions for today are as follows:
  • I have been fully sucked in by the belief that creams and ointments will get rid of my stretch marks. And thusly, I slather myself with some kind of body butter and, more recently, a sticky Vitamin E oil every morning, in hopes that the horrid red stretchies on my hips will go away.
  • I have been consumed by all things baby. I'm reading a giant baby book. I blather on about my pregnancy on Facebook and here in my blog. I'm already losing my identity as Hez. Now I'm just "pregnant Hez who's about to have a baby". I bet people are secretly tired of listening to me.
  • I came into work at 9:30am today. Instead of 8:30am like I usually do. Shhh... don't tell the boss-man.
  • Lately, I'm very, very annoyed by almost all of the people who ride the GO train every day. I've uttered the phrase "I hate people" more than once in the past few weeks. (Ugh!!! Who am I becoming??)
  • I haven't had my nether region waxed in lord knows how long. I'll just say this: it ain't pretty.
  • On that note... I don't care who knows this little tid-bit about me: There is nothing like a completely hair-free butt-hole. You get that bad boy waxed and you're never going back, folks. I promise you. It's one of my ultimate favourite things.
  • Now you know I like my butt-hole to be hair-free. Will you ever look at me the same way again? Probably not.

Hmmm... I think that's as fine a place as any to end today's blog.

Yes. A fine place, indeed.

***EDITED TO ADD*** Wait! I just realized I *do* care who knows that last little tid-bit about me. I really, sincerely hope Doris doesn't continue to read my blog and/or come across that piece of info. about me. As cool as Doris is, she doesn't need or want to know about my bum. Doris - if you read that, my humblest apologies.

Thursday, January 21, 2010


I've got to get better with the uploading of pics to my blog. I promise... I will. I'll try especially hard when I have a wee one here to fawn over and take millions of pictures of.

For now - I present you this: a picture of my belly at 35 weeks, 5 days. In black and white for extra "cool" effect.

Whoa, nelly! She's a big'un. That's 34 pounds of belly right there, folks. Impressive, isn't it??

Anyway - a quick update on me:

How far along: Just shy of 36 weeks. (I'll be 36 weeks on Saturday). Technically, you're considered "full term" when you're 37 weeks. My estimated due date is when I'm 40 weeks. So we're definitely in the home stretch now!

Weight gain: 34.5 lbs. to be exact. Woo! Now y'all know why I'm moving much slower.

New things: I'm getting lots of Braxton Hicks contractions lately. Those are the "fake" contractions that don't really mean much, apparently. My belly gets all tight and rock solid for 30 seconds or so and then it goes away. Sometimes it's accompanied by some lower back and abdominal crampy feelings. My midwife says it's just my body's way of prepping for labour. (But this can happen to some women from as early as the end of their first trimester... so it doesn't mean anything in terms of me going into labour just yet.)

Good reads: I just picked up "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears and Dr. Sears (husband and wife team) who coined the "attachment parenting" term. I'm not 100% sure I'm into all that he has to say about attachment parenting, but this book has absolutely EVERYTHING you need to know about your baby's development from birth to age 2. I was starting to worry a little that I didn't know things like when to introduce foods, or when my baby would start to get teeth, etc. This book is going to be a lifesaver to me, I can tell.

Other news: Only 2 weeks and 2 days left of work. Then I'm off for a year! Can we say a big "Hurrah!" for Hez??

That's about it. All is right as rain and ticking along just fine. Woo!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Going to the dentist...

...and I'm gonna have my tee-ee-eeth cleaned. (In my head that was sung to the tune of "Going to the chapel".) I'm such a nerd.

Anyway - will blog about the wonders of dentistry when I'm back later this morning.

Or I'll spare you. And I'll find something else to blog about.

Stay tuned, folks!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Full weekend

Well, here it is. Tuesday morning. (But it feels like Monday to me because I was working from home yesterday. Ahhh... sweet, sweet working from home days.)

Andrew and I had a very full, busy weekend. We attended our weekend-long prenatal classes. Or, as I like to call them, "Everything You Should Know About Labour and Having a Wee Baby. Including, Learning What the Term 'Bloody Show' Means."

Yes sir, they were informative!

Actually - the class was really good. It was given by a Doula - and she spent most of the time focusing on how positive an experience labour can be. At first I was somewhat doubtful (pushing a watermelon out a hole the size of a pea??? Positive???) But then I totally bought into her outlook.

If you think you're going to have a positive, good experience, then - you most likely will. If you focus on how scary and long and awful and painful it's going to be... well - guess what? That's what you'll get.

So, I'm feeling more and more ready for the arrival of our wee one. And I'm absolutely ready to focus on making this a positive, amazing, happy experience from start to finish.

I'm sort of feeling overcome with joy right around now.

We're closer than ever to the home-stretch and meeting our baby. Andrew's family is doing great and all very excited to meet her. (His Dad is fantastic lately and it just warms my heart and makes my eyes mist over whenever I think about how great he's doing).

My Dad's turning 65 right around the same time as his first granddaughter is expected to arrive. My Mom has a busy, demanding job - but has let everyone (including me) know that she is absolutely there for me in a moment's notice the second I say "Mommy... help?"

I've got great friends who are wishing me well and saying incredibly nice things to me. Life is pretty darn fantastic, I'd say.

I'm starting to wonder why it is that people don't get pregnant all the time??

This rocks.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Enough about me...

All I do is blather on about myself in these posts. I'm starting to get bored of me.

So... tell me about yourself for a change, why dontcha?

How are you?
Any exciting weekend plans?
What did you have for breakfast today?
What are you doing right now?
And... what do you like best about me? (Just for good measure... it can't be ALL about you. Come on! This is MY blog, people!)

Have a great weekend! :)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The coundown is on...

Only 3 weeks and 2 days (including today) until I'm done work for a year.


I have no idea what to expect, but there's part of me that thinks I'm really going to like being home.

Don't get me wrong - I enjoy my job. I like being a part of the adult world. I get to be creative every day, and have fun, and write for a living. Who could ask for anything more, really? It's pretty awesome.

But, on the other hand, it's not home. Home sweet home. In my comfy clothes. Surrounded by my stuff. My comforts.

Then again - I have some small, little doubts floating about in my mind about who I'll become when left at home. Let me explain.

Over the Christmas holidays, I usually have a week to a week and a half off for vacation. By the end of the week and a half, I've most often fallen into a trap of pure and utter laziness. I don't shower until 5pm each day, if at all. I stay in my pjs. I barely wash my face, let alone put on makeup and go out and face the day. I enter sloth-mode. And all of this happens, without me having a little baby to take care of.

So when it comes time for vacation to end and for me to go back to work, I'm usually not that bummed about it. I get back on schedule. I get up daily and shower. I get back into regular exercise. I enjoy the little things - like a morning latte each day.

Which is what leads me to my doubts. I can't seem to avoid the "I no longer care about my appearance nor cleanliness in general" phase I go through when at home for long periods of time. I fall out of any sort of routine and get slobbish. So, there's no doubt this is going to happen to me again, while at home with a baby to look after as well.

Will I like the new me? Will I be able to get into some kind of routine, just so I feel like a human? Will Andrew wonder what's happened to the cute wife he married? Worst of all - - - WILL I START WEARING MOM JEANS??

(If you see me in pleated jeans with a 9-inch zipper, I give you FULL permission to berate me. Please.)

Who knows if I'm going to take to every aspect of this Mom role. I have some small doubts. I just don't know what to expect at all right now.

However, I have a feeling that when I meet Wee Baby Girl for the first time, I'll probably forget about every little, minor thing I just wrote about.

(Except the Mom jeans. That rule still stands.)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Do you have a Doris?

Andrew's 90 year-old grandfather got remarried about 7 years ago.

His wife? Is a fabulous woman named Doris.

Every time I see her at family functions, I think to myself "My goodness, Doris rocks." She is - quite simply - one of my all-time favourite people.

Here's why.

Doris is a jet-setter. She's often off travelling with Grampy to California or Arizona. She loves New York City and always comes home with great new bags and shoes to show off. She goes for weekends away with her girlfriends.

Doris plays bridge about 3 times a week. She golfs. She skates weekly. She loves to socialize.

Doris retired when she was about 74 years-old. (And I think that's mostly because Grampy was retired). Otherwise, she would have kept on working and doing a fantastic job at it, too.

Doris loves movies and loves to talk about them with me whenever we see each other. And she won't see a movie unless she has a bag of popcorn to go with it. Otherwise, it's just not worth it.

Doris just "gets" it. And me. She gets my jokes. She loves to laugh. She's light-hearted and funny. She can poke fun at herself and at Grampy and it's all done out of love. She's a breath of fresh air.

Doris is younger than most 60-something people out there. And she keeps Grampy young at heart, too.

After being around Doris for an afternoon or an evening, I always, always come away happy. She never fails to bring laughter and levity with her wherever she goes.

I simply adore her. How could you not?

When I think about growing up, living a long life, and enjoying every minute of it - I think of Doris. I hope that one day,(in about 40-something years from now) I can say that I'm as cool as Doris is.

I wish for a Doris in everyone's life.

And if you can't have one of her in your life... at least you can live like her.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I might just walk around naked soon

I'm wearing a new top today.

It's technically a nursing top. (I could slip my boobs out to show them off with one easy pull of material! How convenient). But anyway, it's a long top - so it goes nicely over my belly. And it's new. And really nice. Thusly, I feel fantastic in it.

As I'm now approaching the 8 month mark of my pregnancy, I'm growing increasingly tired of my wardrobe. I'm ready for a little variety.

But I absolutely refuse to pay the ridiculous prices for brand new maternity clothes. (I've actually been extremely lucky with my wardrobe, as many of my friends have passed on their maternity clothes to me. Saved me LOADS of money.)

By now, though, I've worn everything. Over and over. And over.

I find myself looking longingly at my old clothes, ready to don them as soon as I can. (Even though they're old - they'll be new again to me. Excellent!) Then again, I have no idea what I'll be able to cram my butt into when the baby is here.

Anyway. I realize this post is incredibly rambly and not about much of anything except for my desire to wear some new clothes. But... yeah. It's all I've got this Monday morning.

Here's to starting a new week with a new shirt!

Have a fabulous Monday, everyone.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Everyone loves a pregnant lady

When I was little, I was painfully shy. I hated attention from a lot of people. Absolutely dreaded it.

I remember when I was about 7 years old, I caught the bouquet at my cousin's wedding. Everyone started surrounding me and smiling and talking to me. The DJ even announced that "the littlest lady here had won the prize". I started squirming and getting so uncomfortable, that I was on the verge of tears.

I remember, even then, feeling a great sense of relief and security because my parents knew how to protect me.

"Take her outside for a bit of air, Ed," my Mom said to my Dad.

Dad grabbed my hand and we hustled outside so I could calm down without people looking at me and congratulating me. (And just being nice in general).

At some point in my life, I got over this painfully shy thing.

Now... well, for anyone who knows me... I can be a little bit of an attention whore. I don't mind it at all, now. I could even say that I love it.

Which is one of the reasons why being obviously pregnant is kind of awesome.

This morning, while sitting on the train, a woman who was 6 months pregnant struck up a conversation with me about my maternity coat. We spent the entire train ride, not reading our newspapers, but chatting happily about pregnancy. Two strangers. Sharing stories.

Last night, one of the check-out guys at our grocery store congratulated Andrew and I, and asked us how long until "we get to be a Mommy and Daddy". Yesterday, a friendly woman offered up her seat to me on the subway. When I was out for brunch with Andrew in December, a grey-haired Grandpa-type-looking old man winked at me.

I've been smiled at by strangers, I've had doors held for me, I've had well wishes and I've had a few interested stares.

It's quite nice.

So, I've come to realize that not only does pregnancy provide you with a wonderful, amazing outcome after 9 months - in the form of (undoubtedly) a gorgeous little baby to marvel over - you also get to soak up all the attention and good wishes you can from family, friends, and even strangers.

This pregnancy gig is pretty cool.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Yay vs. Boo

Someone offered me their seat on the subway this morning. Yay!

The Americans beat the Canadians in the World Junior Hockey Championships last night. Boo.

Today is Wednesday. Hump day. Yay!

I have a slight pain in my ankle. Boo.

I'm going to see Jersey Boys with my Dad tomorrow night. Yay!

I have this sinking sensation that I'm going to forget the tickets. Major pregnancy brain. Boo.

I'm enjoying a FREE Starbucks latte right now (courtesy of the Starbucks gift card I got for Christmas). Yay!

And... since I can't think of any other negative things to dwell on... here are a few more yays to end the blog off with:

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and everything is going along perfectly so far. Yay!

My nephew Elliott is turning 1 on Friday. Yay!

I only have 4 and a half more weeks of work until I'm off for maternity leave. Yay!

Hope your day is filled with yay moments. Have a good one, peeps.

Monday, January 4, 2010

I really don't like to complain... really...

But man alive! I'm starting to get uncomfortable.

My lower back has been aching all day. I've got some new pressure in my lower tummy. My tailbone hurts from sitting in my office chair. And walking to the train station this morning was nowhere near as pleasant as it has been in the past.

Oh - and I just dropped a Tums on the floor and couldn't pick it up. Bending over - don't take it for granted, folks!!!

Anywho. I'm still loving pregnancy. But yeah - I think I should document these kinds of things too. That way, when I look back on how things were going, I'll remember that pregnancy wasn't all "Yay I love pregnancy every single minute because I'm Wonder Woman and nothing can phase me and this is just the BEST EVER in the whole entire world, the end!"

That's all. My little rant for you to enjoy.

I have to go now, as it's time for my regularly-scheduled (every 10 minute) trip to go pee.

PS: pity me. Please?


I'm-a gonna need a BIG latte to start my day off today, methinks.

It's 6:41am. Right now I'm having my breakfast, getting ready for the day. And have been awake since 4:00am. (Don't know why... I'm just lucky, I guess!)

But, really... I can't complain.

Why's that, you ask?

Oh, well that would be because I've only got 5 more Monday mornings of heading into work to face until I'm off for a year.

5 more!!!!! (Including today)... That's it!!!

Exciting much?

Anyway. I'm sure I can think of more exciting things to write about later on. But for now - just wanted to share my news with you.

5 more.

That's it.

Don't hate me.