On writing (part two)

I've been thinking a lot about writing lately. I write every day as a copywriter in advertising. And I write my blog pretty often. But I haven't accomplished what I really want to as a writer yet.

What I mean is, I haven't written a story from start to finish. I haven't written the screenplay I know is inside me (even though I have no idea how to write a screenplay). I haven't written that novel that makes you laugh and cry. I haven't written my collection of essays.

And even though I do find it difficult to fit personal writing into my daily schedule of work, working out, running errands and not neglecting my husband, I know if I really, really wanted to, I would find that time to write.

So, what's holding me back?

I think there's a large part of me that suffers from what a lot of "creative" people suffer from. It's the whole self-doubt thing. What if I'm really not good? What if my writing sucks and nobody ever wants to read it? It's too embarrassing to have someone else read my work... it's personal. It's part of me.

I remember reading a collection of letters between Canadian author Carol Shields and her friend. Shields discussed her nervousness about her work and her worry that she wasn't any good. This was coming from a respected, already published author. I guess it never goes away.

Anyway, I'm doing my best to overcome it. I feel it will be a long journey, though.