Alright, it's time to get real. Put the bullshit aside... I'm going to get real with you.

Okay... slight confession: I actually don't have anything to get "real" with you about... I just heard someone say that and it struck me as quite funny. What does that even mean? All the rest of the time you were going to be fake with me?? The things people say when they're trying to sound important or whatever. It's kinda humorous.

Another example:
"What's your malfunction??" ...yelled by a (very) southern cop on the TV show "World's Scariest Police Chases" to an unfortunate white-trash looking fella. Heehee.

Kind of reminds me of "corporate bullshit bingo" that my co-workers and I like to joke about. You know... those terms that people use around the office that are actually quite silly when you think of them.

Like: "Think outside the box, people". Translation: We need a "BIG IDEA" created here. No little, shitty ideas. A BIG, HUGE, GINORMOUS idea that will prove to the world that you're fabulous.

And "Let's take this off-line". Translation: We're talking in circles and boring the rest of the people in this meeting room who aren't a part of this discussion. (I actually like it when people use this phrase - at least they're aware of the other people in the room who feel like killing themselves from boredom but are too polite to say anything.)

Or, a fave around my office: "Let's regroup". Translation: Let's gather everyone up and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. About everything. Every little detail to do with this job. As my co-worker has noted... that's what we do around here. We regroup.

Words and phrases are funny. I like them. Find them interesting. Perhaps that's why I became a writer.