Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Woman... Whoa - man!

I was all prepared to write about my trip to the nutritionist last night (to help me with my digestion issues - another sign of getting old). But now I'm all fired up and need to vent.

The topic: Women. (One that I'm well-versed in, having a vagina myself).

Anyway. As I said... women. Now, I consider myself an indpendent woman. I'm intelligent, have a good job, make good money, know how to support myself. And at the same time, I'm married and would like to have children one day. And - yes, I'm admitting it - I'm an emotional being. I cry at sappy movies. I get irrational sometimes. It happens.

In my opinion, there's no conflict between these two things. I'm independent. And I may also one day be a stay-at-home mom. (Who knows? This is all speculative... but if it were financially possible, I would).

I'm sure many of you are nodding your head right now, thinking "Yes? And your point is??"

My point is this. There are many women out there who feel like you are no longer an independent, strong woman if you take your husband's last name. If you want to have children and want to stay home. If you get emotional and irrational at times and can't seem to help it. If one of the most important things in the world to you is the love of your husband.

Somehow, you would be a much "better" woman if you didn't act this way. If you were, quite simply - more like a man.

Do you see the problem with this? I do.

I consider myself a feminist because I am a woman and I don't feel I need to be like a man to be seen as a strong, independent woman. I want that corner office one day - but I won't sacrifice raising children and family to get it. We shouldn't have to. Fathers don't. We should be women, who we are, in all our emotional glory and still be considered equals. We should be taken seriously and treated properly and loved - in the words of Mark from Bridget Jones' Diary - just the way we are.

So - the point? (I realize I'm rambling). The point is - as long as women put each other down, as long as we stand divided (between those that think the only way to be a more evolved woman is to be like a man and those that are okay with their roles as women), we will have a long, long way to go to being equal.

Yes, we're close. But we're not there yet.

Please know - this is not a rant against the evils of men. It's actually the opposite. I'm trying to express that I feel I can have my life involved with a man and live the role of a woman and still be a woman: Strong. Smart. Independent. And completely at peace with who I am.

Let's do this together, ladies. Not apart. We need each other.


  1. I couldn't have said it better my self Heather!! Good for you as I have been saying it for years!

  2. Holy shit! You need to get yourself published. I think after reading this I want to put a picture of you on my wall. :) Your pretty smart you know...especially since you came all the way from Meadowjail.

  3. Haha! Thanks guys!! I'll get off my soap box now. :)