Wednesday, February 3, 2010

So you're thinking of getting pregnant?

After 8 and a half months of pregnancy, I feel it's my responsibility - nay, my OBLIGATION - to spread the word about some of the lesser-known symptoms that can be experienced by the average woman during gestation.

Sure, there's the heartburn and the bloating and the crazy hormones. But, there are also so many other... *ahem*, interesting things that happen to your body that nobody really talks about.

And so - I am here to talk about these things.

The good. The bad. The leaky. Behold!

Hez's list of pregnancy symptoms that nobody talks about:

Leaking boobs. This one tops the list because it was JUST. SO. BIZARRE. I knew that milk came out of your boobs when you breastfed your baby. But I assumed that all happened AFTER the baby arrived. I was completely unaware that your boobs could start squirting stuff (and staining your clothes at the same time) as early as 6 months into the pregnancy. So weird.

Stuffy nose. The kind of stuffy that causes your nose to whistle all night long. Yeah. The pleasant kind. Also, it's the kind of stuffy that doesn't have any known cure. For example, when you try to blow it, absolutely NOTHING comes out. Yet, you're still stuffy. You know that type? Enjoyable, isn't it? I actually thought that my nose might wake Andrew up this morning, it was whistling so loud.

Increased boogies. I'll gloss over this one, as mucous makes me sick. But this must be discussed - as it seems in direct conflict to the last point I mentioned. Yet, somehow - it happens. My nose is stuffy one day. The next, I keep finding bats in the cave every time I look in the mirror. Embarrassing much??

Glorious, luxurious locks. This is one I'm quite pleased to find has happened to me. I had no idea that you stopped losing your hair when you're pregnant. But it's true. And the end result? My hair has been thick and fabulous for the past 8 months! I love it. Each morning, I blow dry it, give my head a little "shampoo-commercial" toss and smile at my gorgeous self, feeling ready to face the day.

The cankle - but only on one side. I've heard about your feet and hands swelling up. I've heard about women getting majorly swelled ankles. But I didn't realize it could happen on one leg only. It happens, apparently. On one leg, I've got my nice, shapely ankle. On the other, I've got a calf that just keeps going, allllll the way down to my foot. Gotta say: no offence to women with cankles regularly, but - yow. That just ain't pretty. Especially on one side only. It's giving me some kind of unbalanced, Quasimodo-type effect. Beauty.

Month-long eye twitch. I'm not overly tired. I'm definitely not stressed. Yet - I've got an eye twitch that just won't quit. It comes and goes, mind you. But still. Over a month - going on a month and a half now - and it still pops up now and again. It's got something to do with your nerves and such. Or so my midwife says. At least I know I'm not crazy.

Feeling fantastic. This one sounds kind of odd... but I don't know how else to describe it. I feel so good most of the time. My hair is nice. My skin is glowing. I feel more feminine with my new, rounder shape. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm still sleeping. All the other stuff (and, by the way, there is much more happening that I'll save for another day...) just doesn't seem to matter. I have so much to look forward to and I just can't help but be excited every day and let the good outweigh the bad.

So. That's about it for now. I'll leave some things off the list for a few reasons: 1) My poor brother reads this blog and I KNOW he doesn't want to know about some of these things. 2) There's got to be some mystery behind the pregnancy thing, no? And, 3) Most things really pale in comparison to the awesomeness of knowing you've got a little baby coming. A baby! A real, live mini-me and Andrew.

So. Freaking. Cool.


  1. haha! i just skimmed this blog.. couldn't get too deep into it or i might have been horrified! haha!

  2. It's only the boob leakage that you don't want to read about! I was sensitive about it, knowing you'd be reading! :)

  3. The eye twitch thing is really odd, and only one cankle? But as you say - all of this is worth it! Wonder why you're having insomia now? 3 days eh? Must be hormones, it happens to menopausal women too. Oh the joys of being a woman! Good thing being a mom is so freaking cool, otherwise all these issues would be hard to take.

  4. Someone really should warn you about the leaking boobs. I started getting that rather early in my pregnancy (or at least early to me)and it freaked me out. And your comments regarding the stuffy nose made me laugh. Poor hubby wound up sleeping on the couch for the last two months of my pregnancy because my snoring was so bad. The hair thing really is nice. What isn't so nice is when it starts falling out in clumps after baby is born. You start wondering how the hell you're not bald yet. But like leaky boobs it too will pass. :-)