Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Powered by sour milk

Honestly. Sometimes I wonder how first children survive.

The first kid is The Practice Child. The one we get to test out our brand new wobbly-legged parenting skills on.

Which is what I did this morning. Although, I didn't realize that's what I was doing at the time.

What I thought I was doing was making Anna her breakfast. Just like every morning. I took some mixed cereal (oat, barley and rice), put in a dollop of yogurt and mixed in some leftover breast milk I had in the fridge from the weekend.

I fed Anna about 6 spoonfuls before she got some on her chin that I wiped off with my finger. Not having a napkin handy, I did what I normally do... I licked my finger.

And that's when I tasted it.

A vile, sour, nasty taste that I can only describe as "vomit-like". (For a moment I assumed that Anna had had some spit up on her chin and I accidentally got it on my finger). Then I investigated further and realized that her entire bowl of cereal smelled the same.

Oh yes, dear Internet, I made my child's cereal with sour breast milk and FED HER 6 SPOONFULS OF IT.

Mother of the Year? Yes, that's me.

I had to eat a whole banana and several bites of toast just to get rid of the taste from that one, itty bitty portion that I licked off my finger.

Poor Anna. (Did I mention... 6 SPOONFULS!?)

I immediately fed her some banana (in case the sour milk gives her the shits... thought I should help stop her up a bit) and some toast.

Thankfully, she seemed pretty fine. Didn't seem fazed at all by it.

Of course, then I gave her one last bite of banana and she immediately puked up the sour smelling milk, mixed with banana. All over her shirt. Anna is now playing in the basement with me, still wearing the sour milk puke-stained shirt.

Oh my goodness, can you stand how amazing I am as a Mom?

So, yeah. I think I'll take Anna upstairs to change her out of her nasty smelling jammies.

Just as soon as I finish my cup of coffee, that is.

Don't want to go spoiling the kid.


  1. This is so funny Heather - all Moms can relate to the trials and tribulations that the first child endures. Funny how we are trained to do whatever career job we choose -and someone so precious as our children - it's a miracle the first one makes their first year for many of us. Somehow they do though.

    Keep the Anna stories coming...

    Aunt Gerry :)

  2. First children are how we practice; the second ones we are so much more relaxed and know what to expect. But I was a first child and I am still here. I am sure I had my sour milk, etc, at some point. Love your honesty, many of us keep these stories in our memory bank deposited many years ago.