I figure I'm teaching Anna important life skills by stealing her breakfast. She's got to learn to fight for her food. Survival of the fittest and all that, you know?
Anywho. Last night, as Anna woke at 1am crying and close to inconsolable, I wondered what the heck I was doing wrong. I wondered who these women are out there that can get their babies to sleep through the night. And how on earth do they know how much to feed their babies so they don't wake up hungry in the middle of the night at 7 and a half months old?
(Mind you, maybe if her Mommy weren't eating her food portions, Anna wouldn't wake hungry. Again... I hear the Mother of the Year folks knocking at my door.)
Back to the sleep thing. I've realized I have to learn never to put the good nights in writing, because it seems that as soon as I do... they stop happening. Not that last night was a really "bad" night. But Anna did wake up about 3 times and needed us to help her get back to sleep each time.
Ah well. One day all of this will seem a foggy, distant memory. I'll look back on it and laugh at myself and wonder how I could ever have had so much freakin' self-doubt.
In the meantime, I have to keep reminding myself that Anna will be okay. She won't need me to come in and cuddle her back to sleep when she's 17-years old. She'll learn to do things on her own eventually. (Just now she's starting to get the hang of how to begin crawling. She's a genius child.)
Anyway. Whenever I'm steeped in self-doubt and worry and whenever I've convinced myself that I'm not doing all the right things for Anna's development... I remember one important thing. I remember that I'm able to do the most important thing of all for her without even trying. I'm able to give her the best gift a parent can give their child.
Unconditional and overwhelming love.