New things with me include:
Anna's still freaking out once to twice a day... screaming all high-pitched and inconsolable for a few minutes. It's really upsetting me. (The only thing that's got me relatively calm is knowing that I took her to the doctor last week during the height of her upset fits and he didn't see anything wrong with her. Ears are fine. Throat is fine. etc. etc. Thank goodness). But anyway, once she starts, I think that I'm the only one (right now) who knows how to calm her down. So, no matter who's holding her, I go and get her and try and relax her.
So that's got my neurotic brain wondering if I'm actually doing her no good by making her all dependent on me. Should I let someone else try and calm her down so she can be relaxed by others? Or is that mean because she's screaming (not just crying) and that obviously means she's upset and needs help?
Sigh.
When we go visiting, I try to pass her around a little so that other people can hold her. I do this for a few reasons. 1) So she isn't super shy and clingy and needs to be with only Mama all the time. 2) So I don't look like an over-protective crazy Mama. And 3) to share the loveliness that is Anna around.
But.... when she gets upset, I need to comfort her. I don't want to listen to her scream and cry while other people try (usually unsuccessfully) to calm her down. I want to walk to another area, away from everyone else and talk softly in her ear while holding her and rocking her and letting her know I'm there.
Is this okay? Am I reacting too much? Am I creating a dependent kid? Or am I just being a Mama?
Oh, the questions and self-doubt.
I'm sure it never ends.
Two things:
ReplyDeleteYou aren't overreacting at all. Everyone (including kids) sometimes need a little alone time to regroup with mommy singing rainbow connection in their ear. And she will or won't become clingy no matter how much you do or don't pass her around. I'm convinced it's a hard wiring thing in most kids.
Secondly, my naturopath told me about something called BioGia (I think that's the spelling) and, yes, I'm a hippy. It's a probiotic and it's commonly prescribed for colic and tummy troubles in infants. I ordered it from the pharmacy because it has to be kept in the fridge. It ain't cheap ($30) but if it calms the crying that's worth a million. I have no idea if that's what's upsetting the little meep right now but it seems like a pretty benign thing to try.
Good luck magic mamma!
Amy
You are doing all the right things for Anna and you are being a good Mommy!
ReplyDeleteAlways go with your gut. If YOU think she needs you, then that's what matters.
ReplyDeleteYou are following your heart and trying to intuitively try to know what Anna wants. You and Andrew are doing a great job trying to figure thing out. I don't think you can love a little baby too much. You are a good mother; Anna is lucky. Andrew is a good father; again Anna is very fortunate. Kathy
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone! And thank you for the advice, Amy! Good tip!
ReplyDelete