To run is to be

It's right around this time of year that I usually start running again. The Running Room clinics I participate in start up... the weather is unbelievably beautiful and perfect for jogging...

But this year, I won't be joining my usual 10k clinic and running between 4-10km 3 times a week. (And then my usual half marathon clinic and running between 4 and 21kms.)

Le sigh.

I remember, way before I was pregnant, I was determined to run during my entire pregnancy. "I can totally do it. And I will. I can't give up running!!" I thought.

Then I actually started running whilst pregnant and found that it just didn't feel right. I had a heavy feeling at the bottom of my stomach and I moved MUCH slower than I was used to. My body seemed to be telling me something.

So, I decided it was best to listen to my body and err on the side of caution. That's when I took up walking. (And prenatal yoga, of course.)

I'm absolutely loving the walking. I went for an hour-long walk with the hubster last night in the crisp, fall air. We brought along our mugs of decaf tea, and spent the evening talking and walking through our gorgeous neighbourhood. It was really, really nice.

But... I can't help but feel that something's missing.

I still miss running.

I miss going for a nice, long run in the cool fall air. I miss feeling my cheeks getting all cold and red, and them warming up afterwards with a hot shower and cozy pyjamas. I miss the undeniably fantastic feeling after a run. I miss feeling alert and alive. I miss talking with fellow runners about our time, how our limbs are doing, and how good it feels to be out again.

I miss being alone with my thoughts. Feeling revved up by a really good song as my legs take me further and further along my journey. Being with my Mom. Having a cup of tea at Tim's after a long run and feeling strangely proud of myself: strutting around in my running gear, knowing that everybody in Tim's must see that I. Am. A. Runner.

This year, I'll be joining either a walking clinic or a Learn to Run clinic, so I can still get some exercise with a group on a weekly basis.

It certainly won't be the same. But it'll still be good. And when baby arrives, I hope that I'll feel up to running again soon after. I hope I'll have the energy to make those impressions on the pavement again.

Because running has certainly made an impression on me.