A day in the life of Hez

Here's how my morning went today. And yes, this is a quite typical morning for me:

5:30am - Wake up confused and wonder why alarm is going off in middle of night. (Realize shortly that it's not middle of night, just looks like it, now that winter is approaching. Ugh.)

5:45am - Stumble around in dark. Hop on one foot while trying to get "special workout sock" on. Scare cat.

6:00am - Too lazy to get to gym, so go downstairs to do a few light toning exercises with 5-pound and 10-pound dumbells.

6:23am - Realize "light" toning exercises are actually really hard. Wipe sweat off brow.

6:33am - Wipe more sweat off brow. Gasp for breath.

7:30am - After shower, head into kitchen and start making nutritious and not-really-delicious oatmeal and eggwhites for breakfast.

7:33am - Bend down to pick strawberry off floor. (It's still good!) Stand up rapidly and scrape back against open utensil drawer. Jump around, yelling in pain. Scare cat.

7:35am - Apply giant bandage to back. Bend over to throw out wrapper and realize bandage is ripping at skin. Try to peel off bandage and realize it's also ripping tiny little fine hairs. Leave bandage on! Leave it on!!

8:00am - Head to work on Go train. Ahhh.. peace.

8:04am - Listen to man next to me slurping coffee from cup.

8:06am - Give slurping man quick, annoyed glance to see if he gets the point.

8:08am - Man didn't get point. Continue to listen to slurping.

9:00am - Sit at desk and drink latte in peace. Open emails and learn that none of completed work from last week is acceptable in eyes of client. Must rewrite everything.

9:05am - Shed a little tear, but try hardest not to feel defeated already.

10:00am - Am starving. Choke down protein shake in the name of losing weight.

10:15am - Find office manager's secret stash of chocolate bars. Eat quickly and get rid of wrapper evidence.

11:00am - Start rewriting copy from last week. Get distracted by random pictures posted on Facebook by people don't really know.

11:38 - Decide not to do any writing for work, but recount morning thus far. Find myself quite witty. Chuckle to myself.

11:39 - Try to stop chuckling at self when coworker walks into office and asks for new copy. Sigh.