Approval and awe

Siblings are interesting things. Just yesterday, I was talking with my brother on the phone. We laughed, we joked, we made plans to hang out the next night. And then, as we hung up the phone, he quite enthusiastically said, "Bye Hez!" (Like he was just so happy to be talking to me). It made me feel pretty special.

And it made me think about the evolution of our relationship.

My brother and I have gone through waves of closeness in our lives. When we were really young, we were forced to play with each other on family vacations, as there were no other kids around. And he actually seemed to enjoy my company. (Of course, as soon as we got home, he would run off to play with the boys and I would drag out my Barbies and My Little Ponies to begrudgingly play with my little friends). I actually just wanted attention and approval from my brother.

In our teen years, we tolerated each other. But once we hit our 20s, we seemed to grow close. We started hanging out with the same group of people. My husband (then boyfriend) and my brother became good friends. We went to the same parties. We would even hang out on a Saturday night - just to watch hockey or shoot the shit.

I came to the realization that he liked me. He really, really liked me.

This became particularly clear to me when he gave the most touching speech I've ever heard in my life at my wedding. It was at the moment that my brother's voice cracked - and he had to pause to regain composure - that I felt like the luckiest sister in the world.

After growing up, watching him with awe, amazed by how smart and fun he is - and how everyone loves him - I found out that he felt the same about me.

Thanks, Tiddah.