Help me Mamas

Question for all you Mamas out there:

At 5 months old, did your baby have a routine or schedule or anything?

See, I'm a first time Mama... So, perhaps one day I'll look back and laugh at myself for even wondering this... but for now, I have no idea if I'm doing right by my child.

Anna is super happy and cute and fun most of the day. And then, all of the sudden, she freaks right out. Hubster and I can only assume it's from being over-tired. But I swear, she's not giving me any cues. She doesn't yawn. She's not cranky (until too late, apparently), she doesn't usually have super-rosy cheeks (again, until it's too late).

So, what's a Mama to do?

Part of me thinks it's all my fault because I don't have her on a predictable routine yet... so she doesn't know what to expect from one minute to the next. Which means, of course she's going to not know when to go to bed and then end up getting extremely over-tired.

Another part of me keeps checking my Dr. Sears Baby Book. The one that follows the whole attachment parenting idea. And according to them, I should let Anna sleep with me and lie down in bed with her at nap time, and rock her or nurse her to sleep... etc. etc. All of that is fine and dandy too (I actually really like it)... but then, I wonder - will she learn to fall asleep on her own at any point? Will I always have to lie in bed with her for her to go to sleep?

All I know for certain is that I end up feeling rather guilty every time she has a melt down.

I should know better not to take her out at night past 7pm. I should know how to read her cues and get her to bed before she's really upset. I should not "go with the flow" and let her take 30 minute cat naps all day, rather than a few good, solid, long naps.

Or should I?

The Anna Whisperer

Apparently, I no longer hold the coveted title of "The Only One Who Can Put Anna Down To Sleep".

Today, I attempted to get my rosy-cheeked baby to bed for her afternoon nap. She screamed and screamed when I held her, when I put her in her crib, when I tried rocking her, when I tried feeding her, when I held her upright, when I kissed her forehead, when I spoke softly to her.

She only stopped long enough for me to actually convince her that she was hungry. So, she had her lunch. Then, I put her back in her crib looking drowsy. Which, according to Anna, meant "TIME TO WAKE UP!!!"

She spent the next 15 minutes cooing and babbling to herself, kicking her legs in the air and opening her eyes wider than I thought they could possibly go.

Enter Andrew. The Anna whisperer.

He took her out of her crib, brought her downstairs into our basement and sat with her on the recliner. A few minutes later, while I was up in the kitchen eating my lunch, I turned around just in time to see Andrew walking up the stairs with Anna in a slouched, yet upright position - out cold.

She fell asleep sitting up.

After he put her in her crib, I said to him "So now only you can get her down for a nap I guess." To which he so sensitively replied by looking at me and laughing in a "Neener-Neener" kind of a way.

Oh, Andrew. Silly, silly Andrew.

I was quick to tell him that I certainly didn't mind if he was the one who would spend hours on end trying to get Anna to sleep while I sat in the basement watching TV, relaxing, napping, or doing anything else that tickled my fancy at that moment.

Ha.

Never "Neener-Neener" at a Mom, Andrew.

To remember

I'm usually very organized... but lately, I seem to be all about disorganization. Therefore, even though I try to be really good about updating Anna's first year calendar (instead of a baby book), there are some things I can't help but forget.

Hence, the following list.

Things I want to remember about you, Anna:

• At about 4 months(ish), you started sleeping through the night, only waking up maybe once (and even then, all you needed was your soother). No more night time feedings!
• For about a week, you even slept all night long, not waking up once. I thought I had died and gone to sleep heaven.
• However, for the past 2 weeks or so (you're now 5 months old), you've been waking in the middle of the night - lots. Like, every 2 hours or so. It's really tiring your Mama out.
• You even need to be fed again in order to settle down and get back to sleep. Are you growing?
• Ever since you were about 4 months, you started getting extra clingy towards me (I don't mind at all... you're super cute, after all.) But you wouldn't even let your Daddy put you down to bed at night.
• For the past week, you've been allowing your Daddy to snuggle you to sleep again. (He says thank you, by the way).
• You are super aware of everything around you now.
• You no longer like to nap. (You used to do 3 hours in the afternoon... now you take 30 minute cat naps sporadically throughout the day).
• You squeal with delight when we put you in your jolly jumper.
• You like to yell to hear your voice.
• And you take big, deep breaths before you start your yelling.
• You smile at lots of people now.
• But your biggest smiles are for me. (Thank you.)
• You reserve your biggest, gummiest smiles for me when I come and get you in your crib in the morning.
• I made you giggle one day.
• You cooed a lot today.
• You're really good at tummy time now. You no longer hate it.
• You're *almost* ready to sit up on your own. I can just sense it.
• I've been watching you eye my food intently at every mealtime. You seemed especially interested in my popsicle the other day.
• So, tonight, on your 5 month birthday, I decided to give you a little taste of baby rice cereal (just to see your reaction).
• At first you seemed pretty confused, but then you kept eating it up when I offered you a tiny bit more to taste. Are you telling me you're ready for it?
• You snuggle into my neck when you're tired.
• You don't mind me smothering you with kisses.
• I love you more than I ever thought possible. (But I'm sure this is something I'll never, ever forget.)

Happy 5 month birthday, baby.

To do

Happy Canada Day! (A day late... but still.)

Had a great bbq yesterday with the fam. Today, hubster is back at work, so Anna and I are going to chill.

Things on my to-do list include:

• Kissing Anna's very, very soft tummy
• Going for a walk so Anna can check out all the trees and birds and clouds, etc. (she loves being outside)
• Napping together in my bed
• Playing around on the floor

That's about it. Quite the list, I know. I'm off to try and accomplish some of it.

Enjoy your weekend, peeps.

The tales of Pez and Smandrew

There once was a girl named Pez*. She was pretty social. She loved going out, meeting up with friends, seeing movies, dining out, going for a drink - and so on and so forth.

After almost 3 years of DINK (double income, no kids) married life, Pez and her husband Smandrew*, decided to have a baby.

When Pez got pregnant, she was never happier or healthier. She loved being pregnant and couldn't wait to have her little baby arrive. When baby Vanna* finally arrived, Pez and Smandrew were over the moon! They couldn't believe how amazing she was.

Sure, there were some rough moments in the beginning as they found their groove, but before long, Pez and Vanna had a great thing going each day. They had so much fun together. And Pez loved every minute of it.

Then, since things were going so good, Pez decided that she would love to have a teensy bit of her old life again... added on to her new life. Just a teensy bit. Like, for example, after Vanna went to bed, Pez and Smandrew would love to go to the movies. When Vanna woke up in the morning, of course Pez would be there to feed her and snuggle her and play with her. But at night time, Pez and Smandrew would be a couple again.

Well. Baby Vanna would have absolutely none of that! Vanna decided that nobody but Pez was sufficient enough to feed her or put her to bed at night. And if she woke up? Pez had better be there or Vanna would let everyone know in no uncertain terms that she was unhappy.

Vanna was only 4 and a half months old... but for Pez, that was kind of a long time to feel totally and completely tied to her little one at every minute of every day.

However, Pez came to realize that there could be no substitute for the amazingness that she was in Vanna's eyes. (Vanna was obviously very intelligent to figure this out at such a young age). So Pez decided to just go with it.

And even though she couldn't attend a really fun Girl's Weekend, and couldn't really get out with Smandrew much, and rarely ever saw her friends anymore, it was okay with Pez. It was really and truly okay.

Vanna was just so darn cute, that Pez didn't mind being attached to her all the time.

And besides, Pez fully intended on explaining to Vanna one day that the reason she had to be good, or had to give Mommy a break, or had to do what Mommy said was because Mommy did exactly what Vanna wanted whenever Vanna wanted it when she was little.

Pez was so not above holding it over her kid for the rest of her life.

The end.

*Some names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

Anna goes on a picnic

Weight loss (or lack thereof)

Stop me if you've heard this one before...

"When you breastfeed, the weight just falls right off."

or...

"I've never been hungrier than when I was nursing. But I ate anything I wanted and kept losing weight!"

and...

"I lost all my pregnancy weight and I didn't really even do anything other than walk a bit."

Yeah. I hate all those bitches.

Okay, so I'm kidding. (Sort of). But I am annoyed (although, shouldn't be surprised) that my body is the exact opposite of everyone else's post-pregnancy experience.

I've been exclusively breastfeeding since day 1. The weight? Is not falling off. (Oh, how it makes me laugh to think that I could have ever believed that would happen for me).

Here's the thing. I gained 38 pounds during my pregnancy. Just a teensy bit more than the 25-35 pounds that is considered a healthy weight gain for me. (Yay me!) Within the first two months after having Anna, I did lose 16 pounds by "doing nothing". After that, my weight loss stalled. But I thought to myself, "That's okay... I'll continue to lose it slowly but surely. That's what everyone says happens. And I'm nursing. And I worked out throughout my entire pregnancy. And I didn't overeat. And now I'm even getting back into jogging a little and doing some yoga." etc etc.

So... yeah - no. That's not what happened. After the weight stopped coming off, I actually started gaining.

(Excuse me for a minute...) WHAT THE EFF?????????????????? I started gaining!??!!!

Come on, Universe! Why the heck do you have it out for me so much? I can do everything right during my pregnancy and yet 3 months after having my baby, I still have 30 POUNDS to lose? (Yes, I gained back 8 pounds. Oh. My. God.)

Le sigh.

So... despite what I've heard from many, many women... my experience is NOT that all I have to do is walk a little to lose the weight. Nor can I eat whatever I want. Breastfeeding is no miracle weight loss cure for me.

In fact, I'm now being VERY careful about what I eat and how much I consume. I also go jogging about 3-4 times a week and do Stroller Fit once a week. I'm careful about food. I'm pretty darn active. And so far, I've lost 8 pounds in about 5 weeks.

My genes... they're wonderful. (Thanks Ma and Pa.)

I think the thing that bugs me about all this is not so much that it takes me a long time and a lot of work to lose the weight - it's the numerous stories from other women of how easy it was. Things like "I gained 65 pounds during my pregnancy and lost all of it but 5 pounds within a few weeks" or "I haven't done any exercise at all and now I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant".

It's not easy for me. It never has been and, now I realize, it never will be. So, even though 90% of the women who get pregnant seem to be able to lose it all and get their bodies back by the time their baby is Anna's age now - doesn't mean that's going to happen for me. And I'd rather not feel like a failure on the body image front.

So, I'm just not going to listen to those stories anymore.

And, honestly? I'm pleased as punch with my 8 pounds in 5 weeks.