Anna goes to the movies

Y'all are gonna think I'm crazy.

Or hormonal.

Or both.

The other day I was venting about how mopey and lonely I am. Today - I'm totally, 100% in love with my life.

Right now, I'm sitting here in Anna's nursery, on our comfy glider, coffee by my side (I've started drinking coffee... I felt like now was a good time in my life to give it the ol' college try), laptop on my lap (ha!), listening to the Sleep Sheep ocean sounds and watching my beautiful daughter nap in her crib.

It's 9:00am, I'm in my jammies (and so is Anna), and we don't plan on rushing around or doing anything we don't feel like today. (Although - we do have plans to go for a walk with Uncle Chris - and we're excited about that!)

What a world we live in.

I get to do this day in and day out for a year. That's pretty amazing.

Yesterday, Anna and I had a very busy day. First, we went to visit my friend Kim and her boys. Kim's 3-year old made a beautiful piece of artwork for Baby Anna - adorned with feathers and jewels. He carefully explained all of the details to Anna in a quiet whisper, as he covered her with kisses. It was quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen.

After that, I had planned on going home and cleaning up before 3 of my friends were dropping by for the evening. But, since it was still relatively early, I decided on a whim to check out this thing called Mommy and Me movies.

There's a local cinema that plays movies for Moms so that they can bring their babies. It's a pretty neat set up. They've got a change table station available, you get your admission at a discounted price, and they play the movie a little bit quieter than normal with the lights just a little bit dimmed.

So I went in, Anna in her car seat, and sat down with my popcorn and drink, ready for the movie to begin. Then Anna started crying. Of course, nobody in the theatre looked at me funny, because they've all been there, too.

Since Anna is the Perfect Baby, all I had to do was throw on the stretchy wrap thingy I have, get her all snuggled up next to me in it, and stand in the back row, swaying back and forth a little bit. The next thing I knew, Anna was asleep and stayed that way for the entire movie.

And even though I didn't have a bottle for her, if she had woken up hungry, I would have felt perfectly at home. (At one point, I looked around the theatre and noticed about 4 moms nursing their babies). No hiding under blankets or hooter hiders... which is so much easier.

So - I've realized something. Despite the fact that I didn't chat much with the other Moms (we were there to watch a movie after all - and most of them brought a friend or Grandma with them anyway), I realized that I love doing Mom things.

I love being with other Moms.

I love this little club. I love the knowing glances and smiles. I love seeing other Moms smother their little ones with kisses. I love sharing our stories and talking about how old our babies are now.

In fact, when I told one Mom that Anna was 3 months old, her response was: "Wow - well, you're doing great if you're out and about already at 3 months."

If she only knew that I'd already been on a road trip, started exercising, planned out a full week of activities next week, been on many play dates, and taken Anna out to eat at a restaurant several times already.

So... yeah. I'd say I'm feeling pretty darn good right now.

Thank you

To everyone who called me, emailed me, or left a message on my blog - thank you so much. It makes me feel very loved to know you care about me. And, of course, it's good to know I'm not the only one that's felt this way.

Now... onward and upward!

In true Hez fashion, I've gone and booked myself solid for next week:

• Monday: Andrew's home... so we'll do some family stuff together.
• Tuesday: Stroller Fit starts. I've signed up to exercise with Anna and a group of Moms outside at a park with our babies and strollers. It's run by a personal trainer... and I think we do things like jogging, pushing the stroller up hills, lunges, etc. Should be right up my alley.
• Wednesday: Kindermusic class. I got talked into it by a lovely "Miss Mandy" who called and offered me a free class for Anna. I think I may feel silly singing an d dancing around for Anna. But I think Anna's going to love it.
• Thursday: "Play date" with my bestie, Kim and her little boys. So glad she's not working full time anymore.
• Friday: I'm going to check out a Parks and Rec "Mommy and Baby" yoga class.

So that's that. No more sitting around feeling depressed for me. That's just not how I roll.

I'm also going to check out some more Mommy and Baby classes run by Parks and Rec, I'm going to sign Anna up for swimming when she gets a bit older, I'm going to check out a place called The Little Gym (music and movement stuff) and I've got some dates with other Mamas I know to go to a park, have a picnic, etc.

I'm nipping this damn thing in the bud, yo.

I've moped... now I'm going to do my best to solve the problem.

And now... Anna's telling me she needs her Mommy. So I'm off to do the most important thing I could do any day.

Peanut butter and blah

Something is happening to me that I keep trying to deny.

...I'm getting a bit down.

Me.

The self-proclaimed happiest-when-pregnant woman ever. And the mama who's over-the-moon-in-love-with-Little-Anna.

So what the hell? Why now? Almost 3 months after having her. When the stress of breastfeeding is but a memory. And the worry of having a wee, 5-pound baby in my care is close to gone, thanks to her hefty thighs and chubby cheeks.

Both Andrew and my mom called me today and I couldn't answer due to the giant lump in my throat. I couldn't talk or else I'd start crying. And then they'd want to know why I was crying. And I wouldn't be able to tell them.

Because I don't know.

I'm a pretty happy person, I think. I love my life. I love my family and my friends. I've got a great home and a good job. And now... now I have the most beautiful little girl in the world who hugs me and snuggles up to me and who needs me. It's an amazing feeling.

So what the heck is wrong with me? What on EARTH do I have to be down about?

It's not that I need or want time alone, away from Anna or Andrew. And it's not that I feel too busy or frazzled.

I guess I'm just not used to some aspects of my new life yet. I'm not used to feeling lonely. I mean, Anna's insanely cute and all, but she's not much of a conversationalist. (Then again, I'm not much of a talker. At all. I hate chatting on the phone for more than 5 minutes.)

Maybe I'm not used to spending day in and day out looking like crap. Not used to never quite knowing where that smell of baby barf and dried milk is coming from. Or not used to worrying about Andrew coming home to a wife in sweats with no makeup and messy hair... and coming home to no dinner because I haven't gotten it together enough to prepare food yet.

(Today I had half a package of crackers smeared with peanut butter and a Starbucks iced tea for lunch. And I went out for a walk to pick up that iced tea in pants with cat hair all over them and a t-shirt that has never seen the light of day before, for good reason.

Oh yeah. I've really got it together.)

Anyway. I'm okay. I really am.

I just... get down from time to time. And I'd wager a bet that I'm not the only new mom to feel this way.

So, tonight... I'm off to do what I know best in times of blah-ness. I'm off to go for a jog.

And when I come back, I hope I'm a better mom and wife.

Excuses, excuses

Isn't it so easy to find every excuse in the book to not do something?

That's my problem of late.

When it comes to blogging, I've been telling myself that it'll have to wait. Because I've got laundry to do. Or I need a nap. I should really get outside. Or maybe I need to sit on the couch and catch up on my PVR'd Oprah shows.

But this is my passion. This is writing - for myself.

It's something I absolutely love to do. And something I can keep forever. Moments and memories and funny things I can remember - just by reading my written word. And it's something that I can pass on to Anna, too.

The other day, my Mom sent me a link to a blog that a guy my age, living in the city I live in, wrote. His blog was discovered and turned into a book. Now he's got the CEO of Chapters choosing his book as one of her favourites, and he's been on TV.

I remember thinking "That guy is me. That should be me." But it's not.

It ain't going to happen if I don't follow my passion.

So I'm dusting off the old laptop as Anna sleeps on my chest right now. And I'm going for it.

Even if it's just for me and Anna.

Things

Here are a few interesting facts about me and Anna:

• Each day, Anna wakes up to eat around 5am or 6am. After that, we take a morning nap together.
• Snuggling up next to Anna for a morning nap is one of the best ways to sleep. Ever.
• Anna sometimes cries in her sleep. Just a short little wail, and then it's over. It breaks my heart - but it's also really cute.
• Andrew and I try not to laugh at Anna when she cries - but she makes the CUTEST face ever when she gets a bit fussy. We refer to it as The Super Sad Face. (Her mouth crumples into this big frown... so funny).
• I seem to have nothing to talk about but Anna anymore. Hmmmm. Is this what happens when you become a parent?
• Meh. Guess I'll just roll with it.
• In other Anna news... Anna's going for her first road trip this weekend! We're heading to Ottawa to meet some of my family. She MUST know her cousins and great aunts and uncles.
• I'm a teensy bit nervous about how she'll be on a 5 hour car ride and then not in her familiar surroundings. But she's gotta get out in the world. And Mama will be by her side.

That's about it. Anna's currently napping. So, I'm off to empty the dishwasher, maybe run a brush through my hair and brush my teeth**. It's a good day, folks!

**On a side note... The other day, as I was out for coffee with a friend (and Anna), I realized that I hadn't remembered to brush my teeth before leaving the house. That would never, ever have happened in the past. Now? I've got so much "stuff" to remember to bring for Anna (I better bring a bib in case she spits up... where's her bottle?.... oh, she might need a toy to look at...) that my personal hygiene seems to be put on the back burner. I actually went out for a walk yesterday wearing a shirt that had been freshly puked on. Up until now, I would change my shirt. Yesterday? I just said "Eff this" and wiped the puke off.

Classy.

Date Night Success

So, I survived my first night away from The Buttertart.

(That's my new name for Anna).

Andrew and I had a really great time out in the Real World. We walked around the downtown core, pretending to be adults without a child. I felt like everyone could just tell that I was a Mama, though. (And I didn't even have puke on my shoulder to prove it).

The last time I was downtown walking around with Andrew was when I was pregnant. People look at you and smile more when you're pregnant. But having my little Anna in the world now is a much better feeling.

So, we spent the evening dining on sushi, chatting, enjoying a beer, and talking. Yes, most of our conversation revolved around Anna. But we found some time to talk about the things we used to chat about, too.

In the end, however, we agreed... Talking about Anna is a whole lot more fun.

Just look at the adorable, cute squishy-ness that is Anna.

Well Baby

Anna had her 2-month Well Baby appointment with the doctor today. The kind of appointment that involves baby's first vaccinations. Anna did great. Mama got all sweaty through her sweater due to stress.

Anyway, a quick update on the wee one:

- Anna is now 11 lbs., 3 oz. and 23 inches long. She's in the 75th percentile. Good baby!

- She's developing a flat head at the back of her noggin, due to lying on her back all the time. But the doctor says it'll even out as she spends more time moving around and on her tummy.

- Everything is perfect... her eyes, her ears, her tummy and her sleeping and eating habits. She's even cooing a lot now. She likes to talk to her Mama and Daddy all the time. (Cute!!)

- When she had her vaccinations, you could tell exactly when she felt the needle prick her chubby little thigh by the look on her face. Then she started wailing away. But 5 minutes later, she was fine. Seems like she's going to be just fine with the whole needle thing.

(However, I still brought her home, fed her, cuddled her, and then wrapped her up in my stretchy wrap baby carrier thing so she can snuggle up next to my chest and sleep the afternoon away attached to a warm body.)

That might be more for Mama then it is for Anna's sake.

Tonight just happens to be the first night that Andrew and I are getting out for our first date night, too. (We've got tickets... otherwise, I wouldn't leave Anna after being vaccinated. Even though she seems totally fine.)

So... Grandma to the rescue! My Mom took the afternoon off of work and is coming by to hang out with us... then I'll leave to go get Andrew from work and head out for Date Night.

Andrew and I have a feeling we're not going to be able to talk about anything but Anna while we're gone tonight.

Wish us luck, folks.