The Ladies Rhythm and Movement Club

Did I mention the burger and fries?

2011-09-21T11:23:00.003-04:00

Good morning, folks.

In exactly 37 minutes I will be exiting the building I'm currently sitting in (pretending to work... but just not into it today) and going to a fancy-schmancy burger place for a gourmet burger and gourmet fries. (What makes them gourmet fries? Why - the Dijon ketchup, of course!)

Yes. This is news you need to know.

As my father and my friend Jay have commented in the past - the best blogs blather on about what you're eating for lunch. So that's why I'm telling you this very important information right now.

In other news... here's a quick little update on Everything Hez:

Baby #2 is totally kicking the crap out of me. All the time. I'm trying to decipher her morse-code kicks... but I can't understand what she's trying to tell me yet. Maybe it's something like "More... burgers... and... fries... STAT!"
Hubster and I will be married for 5 years in October. So, we're packing up Anna, sending her Grandma and Grandpa's house and going away for an adult-only weekend. Oh my god, we're going to get DRUNK! (Okay, maybe not. But we're going to sleep. And dine out. And see sights. And sleep. Did I mention the sleep?) It's going to be glorious.
There's a famous burger and fries place in New York that I plan on frequenting.
I have just under 3 months until my official due date with baby #2.
I'm expecting baby #2 to be early, like Anna was. So I really think I've just got about 2 and a half months left.
I don't really want to work anymore, but I'm also self-employed (read: NO frickin' mat leave benefits) so I have to work as much as possible.
I really don't want to though.
Then again, someone has to pay for the burgers and fries.
Okay - done whining.
That's about it.BURGER.I lead an exciting, exciting life.FRIES.And for some reason, I can't focus on anything but my gourmet lunch coming up. (In 25 minutes now).

So with that, I shall sign off. Have a wonderful day, peeps.

The second kid

2011-09-14T15:20:00.004-04:00

So. Here I am.

26 weeks pregnant with baby #2, and I haven't had a chance to blog/document anything AT ALL about this pregnancy.

Second child syndrome begins in utero, apparently.

I'm sorry, baby #2! I mean it. Bad, Mama. I give you full permission to call me a bitch one time (and ONLY one time) when you are old enough to understand what that word means.

When I was pregnant with Anna, I had a full time desk job that allowed me to enjoy little moments of downtime and do with them what I pleased. So I would blog. And blog and blog and blog and blog. All about being pregnant with Anna. And how wonderful it was. And how great I felt. And how much rest I was getting.

Life is very different now. I'm constantly (and I can't stress the word CONSTANTLY enough) on the go with my little Hurricane Anna. I'm working from home and sometimes working downtown. I'm not sleeping through the night. I'm not sleeping in. I'm not napping. (Do you see a trend here?)

So, yeah. Life is different. Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm a wee bit tired and extremely busy this pregnancy. I do what I can, and blogging takes a back seat. Boo-urns. That's life though, eh?

I also consider myself extremely lucky. To have Anna. To know what life is like with the little buttertart. To get to spend lots and lots of time with her and watch her learn things and make me laugh and be silly and hear her voice and feel her soft, soft skin.

And the best part? I get to do it all over again.

Baby #2 - though I may not have the time to write it down, I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to hold you. I can't wait to see your little face and feel your little hands and learn all about you. I can't wait to snuggle with you and watch you grow. I can't wait to put you in cute little newborn sleepers and wrap you up in my stretchy wrap and feel you close at all times. I can't wait for you to meet your Daddy and your big sister. I can't wait to name you. And I can't wait for you to become a part of our family.

It's true... I may not have the same amount of time I did when I was pregnant with Anna. But I certainly have all the same emotions.

I certainly have the same amount of love.

Hello?

2011-09-02T15:41:00.004-04:00

*Creeping back into the blogging world...*

Hello everyone! (Okay, I know I'm just talking to myself here. Nobody is still checking SINCE APRIL to see if I'm updating my blog).

But that's okay.

I've realized something today. I've realized I need to keep writing for myself.

I love my other Mommy blog... but I find that I don't always tend to just spew whatever comes to mind into that blog. I try to keep it Mom/baby focused so that my readers will find some sort of point and purpose to it.

Which? Is fine. But I miss my outlet. And - oh mah goodness - I'm in need of it today, folks.

Let me tell you why.

I've been sitting in a VERY quiet office since 9:30 this morning. I'm freelancing in-house at an agency today. It's Friday before the long weekend, so I'm not overly busy. (Read: I'm kind of bored.)

Everyone around me has checked out or is in their own little "I'm-at-work-don't-talk-to-me-so-I-can-get-out-of-here-at-5:01-today" zone. Except? For the one dude sitting across from me in the open concept offices.

Let me tell you about dude.

When dude drinks? It's VERY audible. He gulps like he's a giant python swallowing a mouse. Annoying. That's all I can say.

Dude's nose is also whistling.

Dude is also beat-boxing (or beep-boxing or whatever it is) with his mouth in an incredibly irritating way.

Oh - and he's also talking to himself in short little bits, like "Well, how do I-?" and "Let's see, I think I have to-"

And clicking his tongue.

And playing the drums on his desk.

So I'm bored. Pregnant. Hot. A tad irritated. And listening to this obliviously loud guy eat, drink, breathe through his nose, and talk to himself.

How did I manage to work in an office so long??

Okay - dude is now opening a TALL BOY can of beer while the work day ends. Must. Leave. Now.

Not sure if I can withstand a whole tall boy of gulps.

Anywho. I'm off for the long weekend. Time to get home to my buttertart who can make all the little noises she wants.

They're always cute noises.

Not sure where to go from here

2011-04-10T20:39:00.005-04:00

So, I said I would keep this blog going...

I said I would have time to keep writing about "me" outside of the Not the Only Mama side to my life...

I said I would regularly update all my fans on all-things Hezzie (I know you're out there, fans... I see you)...

But the truth is - I'm not sure what's going to happen. I haven't had time in ages. And the reasons are:

I feel like raising Anna is a full-time job - even now that she's older and not all teeny-weeny anymore. So, it doesn't leave me lots of spare time.
Anna's gone down to one nap a day - which makes it easier for her to go to bed at night, but gives me much less time to do anything kid-free during the day.
When Anna *does* nap, I need to either do my freelance work, try to get a workout in, shower, do laundry, or get stuff ready for whatever we're doing that day.
That means that blog writing is left to last.

So, here I am. Writing once a month... maybe. Blah! I used to be so good at this.

Anywho. You do what you can, right? At least I got the chance to blog during my pregnancy and Anna's first year of life. Something that I'll have in writing to remember forever.

I'm not saying this blog is completely done. I just can't... I'm so not ready to pull the plug on this one. It's been my favourite outlet for the past several years. But I understand if my readers stop checking in on the off chance I've written something.

On another note - keep your fingers crossed for me, please! I have a few things in the works that I'm hoping (BIG TIME hoping) work out for me.

Hey - maybe I'll have something to write about soon. You never know.

~Hez

Melting right now

2011-03-28T11:46:00.002-04:00

I was going to write something today. But then I realized that there was no possible way that I could do better than this.

Holy crap. Just *try* to be in a bad mood after this.

Hi there. Remember me?

2011-03-23T21:41:00.004-04:00

Wow, it's hard for me to stay up to date with this blog. I'm writing for work... writing for my Mommy blog... watching American Idol.

You know, important stuff.

Anyway, what's new with you guys? Here's a random list of things that are new with me:

My lovely, gorgeous daughter spilled an entire glass of water onto my brand, new MacBook.
The Apple dude at the Mac Store gave me the "We never do this for customers... but we'll do it for you..." spiel when he told me that they were going to repair it for free. (I appreciate it. Big time. I really do. But I found him a bit... salesy... odd.)
I had a few hours to myself this afternoon and I honestly didn't really know what to do with myself. (It's been a long time, peeps.)
I should have gone to see Justin Bieber's movie, because - yes - I actually want to see it. I'm admitting it here and now. (I have some bizarrely strange like-affair with the Beebs).
I also sort of want to see the Celine Dion special on TV Saturday night. Sad? Yes... Yes, I know.
I'm training for a half marathon again. And my leg is sorta giving me trouble. Damn hammy.

Gosh. That seems to be all that's new with me. What has happened to me? Why am I so interesting and glamorous?

Oh wait. Am I just delusional in thinking that I was actually ever interesting and glamorous?

Well... let's see. I've written posts in the past about towels and the time I had a grande mocha but couldn't drink all of it.

I'll let you decide.

Tro lo lo lo lo!

2011-03-11T11:55:00.003-05:00

Wow - that last post was so depressing and whiny. Sorry about that, peeps!

I had another bad sleep last night. But hey - it's Friday! And I've got a Timmy's coffee in my hand! And I'm meeting up with a friend and her cute little kiddies this afternoon! All is good.

So no more Debbie Downer (or Wendy Whiner) for me. I'm all rainbows and lollipops now. You're going to be so sick of me and my sunny disposition, you'll want to vomit.

(That's always a sign of a good blog, by the way. If it's vomit-inducing, it's most likely going to generate much traffic and perhaps some awesome feedback.)

Anyway - in lieu of a long, blabbering post - and in honour of my new outlook - I leave you with this happy little clip before the weekend.

Sing along, won't you?

PS: I'm very, very late to this game. Almost four million people have already discovered this on YouTube.

PPS: I also stole it from the lady at Pregnant Chicken's website. Hey - I have no problem with being unoriginal.

Holy crap, don't you just love reading about me??

2011-03-10T08:42:00.003-05:00

I had a crap sleep last night. (File that under "W" for "What else is new").

BUT... I also worked out with my personal trainer yesterday evening. So, I actually prepped myself (unknowingly) for my shitty night.

I still woke up feeling pretty blah today. But I'm bouncing back now. And I bet it would have taken me MUCH longer if I hadn't had my butt whipped by my ass-kicking trainer. Who I love, despite the ass-kicks.

My fingers are crossed that now that I've stopped nursing Anna, and I'm training for a half marathon, and I'm working out with a personal trainer, and I'm taking thyroid medication and I'm trying to make some nutrition changes (goodbye, Arrowroots. We were such good friends. Sniff.)... maybe - just maybe - I can shed some of the leftover baby weight.

Anywho. If it comes off, great. If it doesn't, meh. I'll try harder after baby #2. (Mind you, I feel like I'm trying pretty damn hard, here. It's not like I'm sitting on my arse stuffing my face full of chips whilst complaining about how fat I am).

Whateves. All I ever talk about these days is my lack of sleep and the weight that won't come off. How awesome and fun to read about! (Sarcastic emoticon goes here.)

For the next post, I think I'll brainstorm a list of wonderfully exciting topics that I can discuss and that you'll be just dying to read about. Yeah... that's what I'll do. I've already got a few ideas now...

... what I ate for lunch yesterday

... the way I separate my laundry into like colours before washing them

... the fine art of perfecting the pony tail (when your hair is too dirty to wear down, but you're too lazy to wash it)

... my trip to the grocery store

Yes. I am the most awesome-est, exciting human being that ever walked the face of the earth.

You people are so lucky to know about this blog.

Hez has an addiction

2011-03-08T07:32:00.003-05:00

I think I may have a problem.

I might seriously be addicted to buying baby skinny jeans.

Went to Baby Gap yesterday. (A place that real, live Mom and Dads do NOT shop at. Why buy a pair of pants for $25 on sale, when you can get a pair regularly priced for $5 - just as cute - at other places?)

Skinny jeans. That's why. Very hard to resist.

Anyway - Anna and I went shopping in my old stomping grounds downtown yesterday and I hadn't planned on buying anything for her. But I find it extremely hard to resist - and way more fun - to shop for the little buttertart. She looks cute in everything.

So we came home with two tops, skinny jeans and jammies for Anna. And nothing for Mommy.

But that's perfectly okay. Because the middle of the day shopping trip is just one of the many perks of working from home. We felt like shopping - so we went. And - as if the gods just KNEW that Mommy had an addiction and would need to find some way to pay for it all - I got a call for some work last night. So now I can keep my Anna in skinny jeans.

That makes me happy.

Another thing that's great about working from home? We're both in our pjs right now. Anna's walking around the house with one of my running shoes in her hands. I'm keeping one eye on her, one hand on my coffee and writing this with the other. (I don't like to toot my own horn, but that's some fine multi-tasking now isn't it?)

She says as Anna splashes around in the cat's water dish.

I should probably go. Hurricane Anna is about one disaster away from bringing the entire house down.

Enjoy your day, peeps.

For you, Anna

2011-02-21T14:13:00.005-05:00

So. I realize it's a little late... but: Happy Birthday Anna!

You're one-year old. Holy crap.

(How eloquent of me, no?)

How do I put in words what this past year has meant to me? How do I let you know how special you are - in mere words?

Well. I'll try, anyway.

Last weekend, your grandma and I went to go see the musical "The Secret Garden" at a theatre in the city. Because it was a children's story, there were lots of moms and dads and their little kids with them. Very cute.

At the end of the row we were sitting in were two little boys. Brothers. Maybe about 6-years old. They looked like they could be twins. It was kind of hard to tell, however, because one of the little boys had a developmental challenge.

It could have been cerebral palsy. I'm not 100% sure. All I know for sure is that he was in a wheelchair. And his parents were very attentive. They watched him closely as he took a sip of his drink. They helped him with his hearing aid when the music started and seemed a bit too loud for him.

At one point, near the end of the play, something sort of exciting happened on stage. And when everything went silent, an excited "whoa!" came calling from beside us. Everyone nearby turned to see the little boy, curled into his mom's lap, watching the play intently. We all let out a happy, delighted laugh. Then went back to watching the rest of the play.

But when it ended, I couldn't help but want to look over at him again. So I did. And I saw the little boy smiling. Smiling broadly. His whole body kind of shaking with what I assumed was excitement.

He was so happy.

And I just started crying and crying.

I was crying because I wasn't sure at first how aware he was of everything around him... but he was obviously aware. And what he saw made him so very happy.

I was crying because his parents brought him there. He cuddled into their laps and watched the play. They rubbed the back of his head with his fuzzy, little-boy hair. And they made him incredibly, incredibly happy that day.

He was so clearly and undeniably loved.

And it made me think of you, Anna. Of how undeniable my love is for you. How happy you make me. How, when I think of everything you've brought into my life, all I can think of is absolute love and joy.

That's why I was crying.

I hope that you're always proud of your parents, Anna. I hope you always feel adored and self-confident. I hope your life is happy. Your childhood is happy. I hope you learn from your dad and I what love is all about.

And, more than anything, I hope that you will one day be lucky enough to feel like that little boy felt. To see the world the way he saw it.

Happy birthday, my little love.

I love you. Today, tomorrow and always.

Here to stay

2011-02-21T14:02:00.002-05:00

A few people have asked me if this blog is ending now that I have another blog going on. So I thought I should update and let everyone know that you haven't gotten rid of me yet!

Hez is here to stay. (You lucky folks.)

I've just had a crazy, crazy month. So I'm still trying to get everything back on track and under control. And unfortunately, personal blogging kind of takes a back seat.

Also. I had this idea that once Anna turned one, I would finish my "love-letter" to her and start blogging about anything and everything again (as opposed to being all-Anna, all the time). But I've been avoiding The Last Blog to Anna post.

Maybe it's because I'm in denial that my wee buttertart is already a year old.

Maybe it's because I want to make sure it's the perfect final blog post to my perfect little daughter.

Maybe it's because I don't want to rush. I want to make her proud that I'm her Mom. I want it to be beautiful.

Whatever the reason - I realize that it's time.

So. Without further hesitation - Anna's final blog post. (Coming up next).

Trying not to cry my eyes out right now

2011-02-03T08:33:00.005-05:00

So this is it. The last day of my little buttertart's first year. Tomorrow she'll be one.

*Pausing to take the huge, crazy, giant fact in...*

Of course, it just so happens that right now I'm crazy busy with freelance jobs. And last minute party planning. And trying to clean the dirty, dirty house. And more freelance work. And attempting to put a dent in the mounds of laundry.

But hey - all that will get done, right? My baby girl will only turn one once.

I'm sure as hell not going to miss it.

I would never miss out on the amazingness that is this...

Holy crap do I ever love you, Anna. Looking forward to spending the day with you tomorrow. Just you, me and that guy you call Daddy.

Cross-promotion. Jargon. Revenue stream. Synergy.

2011-02-01T21:29:00.003-05:00

(That was my little tribute to 30 Rock in the title there. Did you like it? Was it the best corporate presentation you've ever heard?)

The first word is actually there for a reason. Cross-promotion. This would be the point in which I shamelessly self-promote the new blog I'm starting.

Not the Only Mama. Yes, you may go there and read it now if you wish. If you need a little encouragement, read on.

When I became a Mom, and after my husband went back to work, I tried to do things on my own. And - surprise, surprise - I became a bit overwhelmed and got a teensy bit depressed for a bit.

Then I joined a Mom's Group and met some awesome first-time Moms who were just like me. They loved their children so much. But they didn't know exactly what they were doing. They were figuring things out as they went. They had bad days and rough nights. And they were willing to talk about it.

So every time I would meet up with these Moms, I would walk away feeling fantastic and confident and happy that I wasn't the only one going through whatever tough thing I was going through at the time.

That group of Moms became my saving grace. Not only did I get out with Anna regularly, but I met other women who completely *got* what I was thinking and feeling. And it didn't hurt that they loved talking about all-things baby the entire time either.

Which made me think... every Mom should have this experience.

Every Mom should know that they're not the only one who can't get their child to sleep or eat the way the "experts" say they should. They're not the only one who feels guilty because they can't make all of their baby's food or can't use cloth diapers or can't wear the child for at least 12 hours a day to make sure they grow into secure adults.

Every Mom should know that they're not the only mama.

So, that's what I hope to do. I hope to bring together Moms and let them know that at least one other woman has felt like they're failing at parenthood at some point.

In the end - I hope new Moms find out what I discovered. That there are lots of us. We're all trying our best. We all love our babies.

And that is really and truly the most important thing.

My child likes eggplant parmesan

2011-01-31T12:18:00.002-05:00

I'm a lucky Mom, no?

I'm sitting here blogging while my almost 1-year old finishes off her lunch of eggplant parmesan. (Homemade and healthy, of course). Anna was a bit of a picky eater while we were on vacation. But now she's back to her old self... chowing down on everything we give her, apparently.

Mama loves you, my good little eater.

In other news, Anna's turning one on Friday. Can I get a HOLY CRAP!!!!!? I can't believe it. It's been a year.

A few things I didn't expect to have happening as my child approaches one year of age:

Anna's still not sleeping through the night yet. Mind you, it is much better. Last night she woke up twice. Once around midnight (took a little while to get her back to sleep), and again at 4:00. (I nursed her at 4 because I just REALLY wanted to go back to sleep).
I'm still carrying 15 pounds of baby weight. I'm doing all the right things, so I know it'll happen slowly but surely. But I remember thinking I'd be back to pre-baby weight by around 6 months. Ha!
Anna has only 2 teeth and very little hair. Not a biggie at all... I just assumed she'd be all hairy like I was. Her two little teeth are very adorable, though. All little and sharp and cute.
I'm not going back to work full time. The freelance is picking up. Needless to say, I'm pretty damn happy.
I'm sleep-deprived, but so over-the-top happy as a Mom. I always knew I wanted to be a Mom. I knew I'd love having kids. But man - they just don't tell you how unbelievably awesome it is. When Anna wraps her little arms around my neck to hug me and presses her soft little cheek up against mine... there's really nothing else in the world that could ever matter.

Ever.

Food log, part 2

2011-01-21T21:53:00.003-05:00

Anna's lunch today:

Mashed up sweet potato (the only fresh veggie we still had in our house).
Yogurt with pears mixed in and a whole grain cracker.
I figured this would cover off the fruit and veggie category, yogurt covers the calcium and protein category and the cracker is the grain section...

Dinner:

Whole wheat macaroni with mixed veggies (corn, carrots, peas)
Turkey sausage
Yes. You read that last one right... Andrew and I had turkey sausages for dinner and Anna gobbled them right up.

Love that good eating kid of mine!

Food log. (Tee hee... I just said "log").

2011-01-21T07:00:00.005-05:00

We're going on vacation soon. Which means we're rapidly running out of food in the house.

Not such a big deal for me. I can live on cereal (dry or with milk) for several days. Anna, on the other hand, is relying on her Mama for a balanced, nutritional diet day in and day out. The nerve of her. Kind of annoying, isn't she?

So anyway. I've decided to log Anna's food diet here so I can keep track visually and be sure that I'm not depriving my little buttertart of the good stuff.

Thursday night. Anna's dinner:

Mixed grain baby cereal with peaches and pears. (We were having a curry beef dish for dinner which wouldn't have been a good thing for her little two-toothed mouth. Or her bum.)
Side note: The baby cereal was a last resort after realizing that Anna would have NOTHING to do with the scrambled egg yolks I made for her. (Was trying to get some protein into her. With no luck).
Oh, and she had one whole grain cracker with hummus on it. This was her appetizer as I got the cereal ready.

Friday morning: Anna's breakfast:

Cheerio appetizer (of course).
Leftover baby cereal from dinner last night (wasn't much), whole grain toast and blueberries

Pretty decent breakfast, I think. I would have liked to put something on the toast... a little bit of butter, maybe some cream cheese. But we had run out of all of those products. Sad, really. A house with no butter or cream cheese just isn't a house in my opinion.

I'll update later on with Anna's lunch and dinner. I really hope I can scrape together some good food for her. And I hope feeding her healthily on vacation isn't going to be too much of a challenge. Maybe it'll inspire me to make healthier food choices when we're out at restaurants.

(Or maybe Mama will sneak some 3-cheese spinach dip, french fries and greasy burgers behind Anna's back.)

Work, vacations, exhaustion and more.

2011-01-19T07:50:00.005-05:00

Things that are new with me:

1. I got a freelance gig. Woo hoo! (A small one, yes. But hey - it'll pay a bill or two.)

2. I'm working out with a personal trainer who will also be my Running Room Half Marathon clinic coach. 2011 is going to be the year that I work on "Operation: Get Hez Fit." (My trainer promised I'd be bikini-ready by summer. To which I say: HA!)

3. Anna, Andrew and I are going on our first out-of-the-country family vacation. Looking forward to some sun and relaxation (maybe). Not looking forward to the plane ride all that much.

4. Had my first new book club meeting last night. Good times. It's so nice to talk about books over a glass of wine with fellow grown-ups. Of course, we spent a lot of time talking about our kids... but how could you not with a face like this?

Things that are not new with me:

1. I'm exhausted. Completely and utterly exhausted.

2. That's all.

Anna's mama takes a leap of faith

2011-01-11T07:57:00.006-05:00

Well, it's official.

I am jobless.

Actually, I guess it's been official since I made the decision and resigned from my full time job in September. But I think it's just hitting me now because my mat leave pay will be running out in 3 weeks.

So. Here I am. Without job.

If I don't want to resort to feeding my family cat food, I'm going to have to start networking and finding me some freelance work. (Need a freelance writer? I'm very efficient and lovely to be around!)

Man, this decision was huge for me. I'm definitely not the type to just quit my job and give up security to "see how things go". Especially now that I have a wee one to provide for.

But, hey. I'm a different person now. I'm a mama.

I'm responsible for the health and happiness of another human being. (Excuse me a minute while I go fish the lamp cord out of her mouth). I'm in charge of the huge responsibility of making sure she grows up normal. Every little thing I do from now on will either provide her with confidence or somehow scar her for life. (Again, must go get that cord out of her mouth).

So my hope is that one day, in a future blog post, I link back to this one with all good news and talk about how funny it is to see how nervous I was - especially since I became a successful freelance writer and then won the lottery, to boot.

Who knows what the future holds. All I know is that now, in this moment, as I watch Anna cruise around, getting closer and closer to her first steps...

Everything just feels right.

Mommy, does this mean more time for us to hang out and eat Mums-mums together?

My 11 month old...

2011-01-04T08:12:00.004-05:00

... finally has her first tooth! It came through on Christmas Eve. The second one isn't far behind, judging by her mood the past week.

... can crawl really fast, pulls herself up like it's nothing, cruises on all the furniture and even walks behind one of her push toys. She's a mover and a shaker, that one.

... still loves shoes.

... isn't sleeping through the night yet. But she gave up the night time feeding at around 10 months. Now it's just her teeth that keep waking her up. (I think).

... just started waving hello and bye bye to Mommy and Daddy. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

... definitely understands the word "no". And definitely doesn't obey it every time we say it.

... says "Dada" a lot. But we're still not sure if she's directing it towards Andrew or if everything in her path is Dada.

... loves her new Christmas toys. Most babies would prefer the paper or the box... and Anna likes those too... but she truly loves her toys. She's playing independently with them on the floor right now while Mama drinks coffee and writes this blog.

... smiles and laughs a lot. Also likes people. And once she warms up to a new situation, starts babbling and laughing and grabbing onto everyone's feet.

... is great in restaurants. She even came to the King Edward Christmas brunch with us in her fancy holiday dress and was a perfect, perfect angel.

... sleeps well in the car, but won't sleep at anybody else's house. Which should prove to be interesting when we head off to Florida in a few weeks.

... is the cutest little buttertart in the world. Even when she's miserable from teething.

I love you so much, Anna. Happy 11 month birthday, baby.

Merry Christmas everyone

2010-12-24T10:31:00.003-05:00

I know I say this over and over... but I really do wish I had more time to update my blog more often. Ah well. It is what it is. At least I'm here now, right? (You know you're excited that I'm here right now writing this. You love me. Admit it.)

And so. Here we are. It's my Christmas Eve 2010 blog post.

Anna, Andrew and I are ready for the festivities to begin. We've wrapped our presents, visited Santa 3 times, baked cookies, listened to Christmas carols. We've done it all. Now it's just time for family visits and, of course, lots of food.

While Christmas has never been about the presents for me (honestly - I'm not just saying that), I'll admit that I used to get excited about the whole gift thing. I used to go a bit overboard and buy lots of things for everyone, excited to see how they would react when they opened them. I used to get all giddy about the huge mound of wrapped gifts under the tree, curious about what I was getting that year.

But something is different for me this year. Something has changed. Something good.

I'm still excited about Christmas. I'm still happy to give gifts. But Christmas is about so much more than presents this year. It's traditions. And memories. It's love. And happiness. Family. Health. (It's also cookies.)

I can probably attribute a lot of my new found feeling about Christmas to Anna. But I've got to give credit to Andrew and my family, too. (Thanks, guys. I love you.)

Anyway. So it's now time. It's Christmas Eve. The holiday season will be winding to a close soon. And what will I remember most about the year of Anna's first Christmas? Probably that I'm happier than ever and I'm filled with love.

And I wish all of that to you as well this season.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more.

Whiskers on kittens, brown paper packages...

2010-12-16T18:01:00.006-05:00

The tree is up. The stockings are hung. Presents are bought (but not wrapped for fear of the little buttertart opening them all up before Christmas morn.) The carols have been playing for weeks now.

Sigh. It's my favourite time of year.

As I was driving around in silence while Anna napped in the back seat today, my mind began wandering and I began thinking about Christmases past.

When I was a little kid, my brother and I freaking loved Christmas. (Okay, what kid doesn't??) I loved everything about the season - and not just the toys. (Honest.) I loved things like decorating the tree, eating Mom's raisin cookies, baking together, getting Dad to help me buy the perfect gift for Mom. I loved that we caught Christmas mornings on video camera so we could watch them over and over again each year.

I loved the big family get togethers. And turkey sandwiches on boxing day. I loved the year I got a Young MC tape. I loved how excited my parents would be. How happy we all were.

Christmas, as cheesy and schmaltzy as I sound, is (and still is at 31 years old) a magical time of year for me. A time of year to stop sweating the small stuff and to just... believe.

Believe in good will. Believe in helping those less fortunate. Believe in making happy memories that will last a lifetime for your kids. Believe in being sillier and happier and more fun than you tend to be all year.

What I've learned over the years is that when you forget the things like the fact that your job is stressful, or you don't have a lot of money, or you haven't slept for 10 months (ahem... Anna) or that you're not done your shopping and it's Christmas eve... and you start to believe in all that the season is meant to be... (and I mean really, truly believe in all the hokey stuff)...

Well, that's when the magic really begins. That's when the memories are made. That's when true happiness exists.

And, really... what could be better than being unbelievably and overwhelmingly happy for a month?

Wishing you a happy, magical, cheesy and - best of all - silly holiday season.

~Hez, Andrew and Anna

Sweetness and light

2010-12-08T08:03:00.003-05:00

Today I stopped doing the dishes, mid-dish, so I could sit down and write about Anna. (Okay, so maybe I just wasn't into the dishes this morning.) Anyhow.

When Anna's grown-up, I really want her to know about all the little things about her life when she was little.

I know I've been all "sweetness and light" when it comes to documenting Anna so far. But it's time for grown-up future Anna to know about the other stuff. The stuff that has made Mama's head sprout multiple new grey hairs and has caused Mama to develop an unhealthy coffee-and-latte addiction.

Stuff that is making Mama grow old quickly:

1. Anna. You don't seem to have any desire whatsoever to sleep through the night. You teased me a little bit when you were about 4 months old. But now you're 10 months old and you still wake at least once to nurse, you take quite a bit of time to go down for a nap or to bed, and when you're sick you wake up pretty much every hour at night. Needless to say, Mom is exhausted.

2. While you're cute and happy about 99% of the time, you have developed some mean tantrums already. You're only 10 months old, for pete's sake! However, if Dad or I take something away from you that you want (a spoon, a cloth, my cell phone), you freak right out and cry and scream until we find a way to distract you. I thought this type of behaviour wasn't going to develop until you were about 13.

3. Sometimes you'll take a bottle with a bit of formula. Sometimes you won't. Sometimes you're happy in the car. Sometimes you're extremely angry. Sometimes you want me to pick you up. And then you immediately want back down again. I'm trying my hardest... but you've got to help me out a little bit, kid.

That's about it. Honestly. And really, the sleep thing is the only thing that's making me feel a bit tired. The other two points were just so that I'd actually have some bulk to this blog post (I could have left them off the list).

Basically... I just want you to sleep. Please sleep, Anna.

Otherwise, you really are sweetness and light.

Rain, rain

2010-11-30T08:20:00.003-05:00

Oooo... it's nasty out there today. Lots of rain. Cold. Wet. Which means....

..... PAJAMA DAY for me and Anna!!! Woo! We ain't getting dressed all day and you can't make us. (If only I had a pair of onesie jammies with feet... man - I would NEVER wear regular clothes again.)

I'm definitely going to miss these days if I start working again. I say "if" because I'm still not sure what to do, really. I want to give freelance a go... but I'm starting to get the jitters a bit.

Maybe it's because I'm coming closer to the end of my maternity leave and those helpful payments will be stopping before I know it. Maybe it's because I have nothing lined up yet. (It's hard to line it up for February. I kind of have to wait last minute to line up a job if I go the freelance route). Maybe it's because I've only done one freelance job so far and haven't had lots of people knocking on my door. Of course, I can't really do lots of work right now because of you-know-who... (she's listening) and because then it would affect my mat leave payments.

So very complicated.

All I know is that working in your pjs all day sounds awesome... but spending more time with the little ankle biter is probably the best thing I could ever imagine. For me. And for her.

So, I guess we'll see. I guess I have to let things just... happen.

Until then, I'm going to soak up every minute of my pajama day with just me and my babe.

All about you

2010-11-29T08:25:00.005-05:00

Hello, Anna.

Right now, you're on the floor, in your jammies, getting into anything and everything (you seem to prefer the dangerous things by far. Naturally.) You're yelling happily, only pausing to stare at Arwen now and again.

You're going to be 10 months old on Saturday. I still can't believe it. I know people always go on about how time flies and how "quickly they grow up" and yadda yadda... but it's true. My little wee, 5 pound-15 ounce baby is now almost 10 months old and has a real, true, strong personality.

For example... you love making noises with your mouth. Whether it's a whistle, or a little half laugh, or even just yelling - you absolutely love to make noise. And you always have, ever since you were tiny and would make appreciative noises while nursing.

You love crawling around and being independent. And now that you can get around by yourself (crawling and pulling yourself up and cruising on the furniture), you have even less time for Mommy to snuggle you or smother you in kisses. You don't want to be held all that often, you're busy, darn it!

You would live on blueberries, cheese and cheerios if I let you. Raspberries and avocado are a close second. But, you're not quite ready for anything too different. (Last night, we tried pureeing up some of our Greek chili that Daddy made and it was a bit much for you.)

You're very social and love visiting at Grandma and Grandpa's or Nanny and Grandpa's house. But we better not try to make you sleep there. Unless you're in your room, with your crib and your Mommy close by... you're having none of it.

You have no desire to sleep through the night yet, thank you very much. You're still getting up to nurse once. I've pretty much gotten used to the lack of sleep... but I'm sort of eager for you to start sleeping better one of these days. (Mind you, you're a great day time sleeper. You take hour and a half long naps in the morning and afternoon. Bliss!)

You think your Daddy is just the funniest thing that ever existed. When he comes home from work, all he has to do is flick a plastic bag or a tea towel around and you could pretty much keel right over from laughter.

Basically, what your Mommy is trying to tell you is that you're pretty much amazing. And you have been for the past 10 months.

Keep it up, baby.

Little Miss Go-Go-Go

2010-11-18T08:17:00.003-05:00

Anna's entertaining herself with my running shoes right now, so I have a spare minute to sip my morning coffee and chat. I feel like a real, live adult. Wow.

**Side story** Yesterday I texted Andrew at work to tell him that Anna had discovered the front hall closet and was in heaven because there were SHOES EVERYWHERE (and Anna loves shoes for some strange reason). Andrew texted back to say "Aww... how cute. A shoe queen, just like her Mommy." Silly, Andrew. If he only knew what a real shoe queen was. A real shoe queen doesn't basically wear only one pair of shoes all fall, one pair of shoes/boots all winter and one pair of flip flops all summer. It may seem like I have lots of shoes since I have casual and dressy options... but I'm so not a crazy shoe lady. Andrew's lucky he married me. A "typical" woman in love with shoes would drive Andrew absolutely insane. **End of side story**

Anyway. So, Anna is fully crawling and even starting to cruise around on furniture now. She's a very advanced 9 and a half month old, if I do say so myself. The downside to her being so active is that she's developed bruises all down her shins and has had a shiner or two on her head already.

This is all very par for the course when it comes to little kids, I realize. But my neurotic side can't help but feel like a BAD MOMMY when I see her cute, soft, white little body covered with yucky bruises.

The plus side to her being so active is that she loves entertaining herself now. Why, right now she's attempting to pull the curtains down in the living room and is yelling quite happily about the whole process.

(Oh - she just saw the diaper bag and is crawling in super speed to get to it. Hmmm... in love with shoes and bags. Perhaps she will be a fashionista? She has the skinny jeans already.)

Anyway. The other side to Anna crawling around is that I really have to watch her like a hawk since we haven't baby-proofed our home much yet. Mind you, I don't know what we're going to do about certain things. (I've had to fish cat food and dead leaves out of her mouth 3 times already. But I can't starve the cat. And I'm certainly not going to start cleaning the front hall every single time the door opens and yet another leaf gets tracked in.)

What's a Mama to do??

I know. How about I just sit back (metaphorically speaking) and enjoy the whole, entire, crazy ride that is life with Anna.

Yes. That's what I'll do.

Anna goes out and about

2010-11-15T07:51:00.003-05:00

Hi there.

Remember me?

I'm the lady getting very little sleep. But my baby is cute, so it sort of makes up for it.

Anyway. I want Anna to know about all the things we did together when she was a wee little buttertart... so I've popped back on today to update y'all (and Future Anna) with the following List O' Fun.

Things We've Done in the Past Few Weeks:

Went to Tiny Tots on Parade for Halloween. Think: a whole bunch of little babies and kids dressed up in adorable Halloween costumes parading around downtown while a bunch of stores hand out candy. O.M.G. I almost couldn't handle the cuteness of it all.

Made cupcakes for Daddy's birthday. And put peanut M&Ms on top. Mmmmm...

Went to the Royal Winter Fair. And saw horses and piglets and Super Dogs... oh my! Andrew and I had some back bacon on a bun (sorry piglets!) and sampled some delicious cheeses and buffalo meat. I also bought Anna some natural, organic baby soap (hippy soap, as Andrew likes to call it). 'Twas a cute day. And a fun, family outing was had by all.

Checked out the Fantasy Fair at Woodbine. Anna and I rode the carousel once, then just walked around and shopped and lunched with other Moms and babies. She's a bit too young for the rides and play area - but when she's older, we're definitely going back. (Side story: When my brother and I were quite young, my Dad took us there. I don't remember much about being there other than thinking that this was THE MOST magical place ever. There were rides. And it was all "fantasy" like. It was super exciting... and I have such a good memory of my Dad taking me there. Hopefully, I can do that for Anna, too.)

Looked around at The Baby Time Show. Lots of vendors. Lots of babies. Lots of strollers. A few free samples. But the thing that made it all worthwhile? While Anna sat in her stroller and passed by a little boy sitting in a wagon, she yelled happily at him as she went. He turned around and, I kid you not, without a second of hesitation... yelled back in the same happy way. Freakin' hilarious.

Today, we're having a quiet day at home.

Zzzzzz....

2010-11-09T19:41:00.001-05:00

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

That is all.

Nothing is safe anymore

2010-11-05T07:34:00.005-04:00

Anna has discovered the joy of magazines.

She's currently sitting on the kitchen floor, by the microwave stand where we store most of our old magazines that we want to keep for one reason or another.

She's pulling them off the rack, one by one, ripping a few pages and then discarding the magazine, in search of another issue that's more exciting.

I think it's safe to say that our stuff is no longer safe.

(Pause for a moment, as Anna bumps her noggin on the floor and needs a little cuddle from Mama).

Anna crawls like a champ now and pulls herself up onto everything. There's no stopping her. And there's no more sitting and watching for me.

In the kitchen, she likes to take all the magnets off the lower part of the fridge and she loves pulling the tea towels off the oven handle. Once Anna's been in a room, you know it by the clear signs: the wake of discarded "stuff" all over the floor.

I can't tell you how many times I've stepped on cheerios or other pieces of fallen food. In the basement, we have to delicately step around Anna's maze of toys in order to ensure we don't fall and break something. In the bathroom, you'll find her nasal aspirator, wash cloths and numerous bath toys. Random items of Anna's clothes can often be found in the living room, in her car seat or at the front door by her diaper bag.

Anna has clearly taken over.

But, when you get to stare at a face like this day in and day out, how can you mind, really?

Your beloved floor-to-ceiling bookshelves are next on my list, Mom.

Seriously?

2010-11-02T20:25:00.004-04:00

I'm just now recovering from my third illness in the past 3-4 months. (Can I get a hallelujah for antibiotics???)

But still. What the what? With the sickness. 3 times now. In 3 months. And stuff. And junk.

At least I'm feeling better today. Yesterday was a different story. (And the day before yesterday). I was done. Exhausted. Achy. Not hungry. Sore throat. Head throbbing. (I've got strep. Yahoo!) And yet, I still had a job to do.

Let me just tell you, folks... taking care of a baby when you're sick is: Near. Frickin'. Impossible. I don't know how anybody does it.

It takes a village to raise a child, and thankfully I know some very, very fantastic villagers. Andrew took over on Sunday and my Mom took the day off work and came to my rescue on Monday.

I am so thankful. So very thankful.

It meant that I actually had a chance to lie in bed, get sleep, rest up and try to recover. And - voila! Here I am today, feeling much, much better. Almost completely back to my regular Hez-self. Woo!

Just in time, too. Today is Andrew's birthday... so thankfully I was well enough to sit in front of the TV with the hubster and celebrate his D.O.B with chicken wings and carrot cake.

The perfect end to a very tiring few days.

Powered by sour milk

2010-10-27T08:03:00.004-04:00

Honestly. Sometimes I wonder how first children survive.

The first kid is The Practice Child. The one we get to test out our brand new wobbly-legged parenting skills on.

Which is what I did this morning. Although, I didn't realize that's what I was doing at the time.

What I thought I was doing was making Anna her breakfast. Just like every morning. I took some mixed cereal (oat, barley and rice), put in a dollop of yogurt and mixed in some leftover breast milk I had in the fridge from the weekend.

I fed Anna about 6 spoonfuls before she got some on her chin that I wiped off with my finger. Not having a napkin handy, I did what I normally do... I licked my finger.

And that's when I tasted it.

A vile, sour, nasty taste that I can only describe as "vomit-like". (For a moment I assumed that Anna had had some spit up on her chin and I accidentally got it on my finger). Then I investigated further and realized that her entire bowl of cereal smelled the same.

Oh yes, dear Internet, I made my child's cereal with sour breast milk and FED HER 6 SPOONFULS OF IT.

Mother of the Year? Yes, that's me.

I had to eat a whole banana and several bites of toast just to get rid of the taste from that one, itty bitty portion that I licked off my finger.

Poor Anna. (Did I mention... 6 SPOONFULS!?)

I immediately fed her some banana (in case the sour milk gives her the shits... thought I should help stop her up a bit) and some toast.

Thankfully, she seemed pretty fine. Didn't seem fazed at all by it.

Of course, then I gave her one last bite of banana and she immediately puked up the sour smelling milk, mixed with banana. All over her shirt. Anna is now playing in the basement with me, still wearing the sour milk puke-stained shirt.

Oh my goodness, can you stand how amazing I am as a Mom?

So, yeah. I think I'll take Anna upstairs to change her out of her nasty smelling jammies.

Just as soon as I finish my cup of coffee, that is.

Don't want to go spoiling the kid.

Milestone

2010-10-26T10:47:00.003-04:00

Anna is officially and truly crawling now.

I watched her a few times this morning when she didn't know I was looking. (If I'm sitting right there next to her, she sort of gets mad and frustrated instead of trying to crawl. She'd rather me pick her up and do it for her, the lazy bum.)

So I think it's time for me to start baby-proofing. She's already got a love of pulling open drawers and chewing on absolutely everything she can get her hands on. (One of the drawers in our end tables downstairs has miscellaneous computer wires in it. For some reason, Anna loves to grab wires and chew. Awesome.)

I'm sure I'm getting into a whole new stage of Mothering now. The "exhausting Mama out" stage. But hey - maybe now I'll lose that extra baby weight from all of the chasing.

Look out world, here comes Anna and her cute crawly bum.

Pray for mojo

2010-10-25T09:37:00.002-04:00

I've lost my mojo when it comes to writing lately.

Not quite sure why, though. (Actually, I was down in the dumps pretty much all day yesterday for no real reason... Just having one of those "meh" days. Which begs the question: Can you get a case of the Sundays when you don't go to work on Mondays??)

Anyway. It's important for me to remember that this blog is also for Anna. I want to record her milestones and write about every little cute thing she's doing. Which is why I must find my mojo and keep on keeping on, dammit.

(Anna's going to think I'm very cool. How could she not when I use terms like "keep on keeping on"???)

So. Things that are new:

Anna is SOOOO close to crawling. She's 8 and a half months now, and on October 21st she pretty much crawled her first crawl "steps". She did about 2 and a half to 3 crawls. Since then, she hasn't done it again... However, she gets up onto her knees, rocks back and forth and then yells angrily at me to come help her move.

I'm officially unemployed. I gave in my resignation at my job so that I can give freelance writing a try. Despite not having any work officially lined up for when my mat leave pay runs out, I'm oddly calm about the whole decision. Andrew and I agreed that it's best for our family, best for Anna and best for our overall happiness in general. I think Anna's pretty lucky. Then again, so am I.

Andrew and I have been married for 4 years now. We quietly celebrated our anniversary last week by going out for dinner. We talked and talked and talked about everything... Work, movies, Anna, what we were doing 4 years ago, books, what we did that day... It was really, really nice. We haven't had time to just sit together, without any distractions, and just talk. Afterwards, we went to Chapters and browsed some books. I bought Anna her very first "Twas the night before Christmas" book to read to her every Christmas Eve. All in all, it was a pretty great night.

Anna had her first cold last week. Now, here's something that I find very interesting... you know how everyone has something that just makes them gag every time it's mentioned or talked about or seen? My thing is snot. Just the word snot makes me almost vomit. I'm not kidding... it makes me so frigging sick. (I think this can be related back to an early childhood traumatic memory of a boy in my kindergarten class eating his boogers... ugh - have to stop now. Going to vomit.) Anyway - point is, Anna's been really stuffed up and can't breathe. So I had to go out and get this device that pretty much requires you to suck the snot out of your baby's nose... thankfully, there's a contraption that catches the snot so you don't get any in your mouth. Now, here's the interesting/bizarre part: it doesn't make me sick at all to do this! Not in the least little bit. I find I'm almost proud when I get a large amount of goobers out of her nose. Who knew Motherhood could make you immune to disgusting, disgusting things. (This must be why my Mom could clean up my puke and not bat an eyelash whenever I was sick as a kid.) (By the way - thanks Mom!)

And on that note, I'm going to end the discussion. No more talk of boogers or vomit.

Sorry people. This blog started out much nicer and gentler, didn't it? Just goes to show - when you're home all day and not interacting with the world as much as you used to, the only thing you've got left to talk about is your child's snot.

(Sorry. I promised I would stop.)

Libraries: Old fashioned or fantastic?

2010-10-14T07:37:00.004-04:00

Anna's keeping me quite busy lately, and so is the Moms group I joined (have I told you how much I adore the Moms group? It's awesome, yo. I have real grownups to hang out with!)

So anyway, I find I have less and less time to write. Which is sad, really - as I should always make time for writing. But, hey. What can I say? Contrary to popular belief, I ain't perfect.

Today we're going to a library with some other Moms to check out the play area and to browse the books. Libraries (though I haven't been to one in ages) seem so old-fashioned and antiquated... and yet, they have this kind of awesome quality to them.

When I was a little girl, I absolutely loved going to the library. I loved browsing through rows and rows of books. I loved the crinkly sound that happened when I opened up a book with that protective plastic covering on it. I thought that getting a new book to read was on par with eating tons of candy or having a sleepover.

I read Ramona Quimby, Age 8 and The Berenstein Bears. I devoured Clifford books and The Littles series. I read every single Babysitter's Club book. I read and reread Are you there God? It's me, Margaret over and over again. I loved Roald Dahl books, especially Witches, The BFG and Matilda.

Reading, for me, was intensely exciting. So, as nerdy as it may sound, libraries had this kind of magical quality to me.

I have no idea if Anna will feel the same way. Will she be like me? Or will she be more like her Daddy (who reads, but would probably laugh at me if he knew I thought of it as magical)? I read to her every night to inspire that love at an early age. In the end, if it's not her thing, that's okay with me.

But, man, what a fantastic world she'll be missing.

You're the one

2010-10-06T19:11:00.005-04:00

Halloween's coming. (Just in case you didn't know).

Are you excited?

If you're not excited yet... I'll give you a very good reason to be.

Here it is.......

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

(Really sure??)

Okay. I won't drag this out any longer.

Here it is. A sneak preview of Anna's very first halloween costume....

Stay tuned for the real thing.

If you can handle extreme cuteness, that is.

Will she love Boney M as much as I do?

2010-10-04T09:13:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I almost burned the house down while making brown rice. I also put a bag of fresh baby carrots away in the freezer.

I was really on my game.

I suppose it could be due to the fact that I went for a 10k run yesterday morning (yay me!) and also took Anna out in the afternoon, which resulted in an accidental hour-long walk. (I didn't mean to take her out for an epic jaunt around the neighbourhood. It just sort of happened. Mama's legs were achy. But Anna liked it.)

Anyway, so I was tired. I kind of crashed on the couch around 7:30/8 o'clock last night... but I managed to stay up until 9. (Woo!! They call me the Party Hez... Woooooo!! Party!!!)

I think Anna wanted to torture Mama last night because she didn't wake up once to eat. She woke up twice.

Sigh.

I'm not going to focus on the fact that Anna is 8 months old (today!) and still waking twice in the night to eat. Instead, I'm going to think about happy things.

Like the holidays.

It's cool out today. We have the heat on. So it's starting to really feel like fall now. Which means I'm getting all excited. This is my absolute favourite time of year. Especially since the holiday season is about to be kicked off with Thanksgiving. The eating holiday. Perhaps the best holiday of all.

So, it goes Thanksgiving. Halloween. And then... Christmas. My favourite time of year. (Still. At 31 years old.)

I was telling Andrew the other day that my excitement for the holidays is now going to be times a million, due to the fact that we have Anna to celebrate with. I've already purchased her halloween costume and a bib that says "My first halloween".

Just wait for Christmas. Oh... Christmas. I can hardly wait for all the "My first Christmas" paraphernalia. And the cute little holiday party dresses. And showing Anna off to family. And baking cookies with her. And going for winter walks to look at the Christmas lights.

Sigh.

Whatever Andrew and I do during the holidays - starting right now - that's going to be what Anna remembers when she's a grown up. All of her fond memories. And we get to start making them.

Really now. Christmas with Anna.

Can you tell me how life can get much better?

Whatcha doin'?

2010-10-01T09:12:00.002-04:00

This is good.

All you Moms out there that get asked "What do you do all day?!?" Here's a good answer.

Enjoy. And happy Friday.

Mmm... dry toast

2010-09-28T20:03:00.004-04:00

Right now I'm watching the hubster nap on the couch with Arwen the cat, while I watch a PVR'd Oprah show, listen for Anna on the monitor and type this blog post.

I'm one, fine multi-tasking Mama, yo.

So. If it's not one thing, it's something else that I seem to worry about. Anna will be 8 months next week (oh-em-gee, you guys!) and I've just noticed that I haven't really done my best with practicing the whole finger food, self-feeding thing with her.

(She much prefers Mama to spoon feed her, thank you very much.)

Not that I'm really worrying about this... just over-thinking it, as I'm known to do. Over thinking and "new Mom" go together so great, no?

So, I've noticed that Anna can't get much from her hand to her mouth in the way of little, itty-bitty morsels. Yet, since she's all gums, everything has to be all tiny for her mini, little mouth. Poor thing seems interested in getting food into her mouth (she tries to grab the little pieces) but she either can't pick them up, or gets them "stuck" in the palm of her hand, forgets that they're there and sort of gives up.

(I still think she's extremely advanced for her age.)

And normally, I would continue spoon-feeding my gorgeous little girl for as long as she asked me to. She could be all: "Mother? Would you be a dear and feed me my roast beef while I study for my University exams?" And I'd be all: "Of course I will, Anna! Can I peel these grapes for you while I'm at it? No trouble at all!"

However, I know that at some point the little buttertart has to learn to do things on her own. And I probably should have been all over this already.

Therefore, I've been doing a little bit of reading on this baby-led weaning phenomenon. It's kind of frightening what some people give their kids to eat off the hop (as soon as they can start eating solids), but it seems to work.

I started today by giving Anna a strip of dry toast. And while I watched with extreme fear and trepidation, her gums seemed to magically mush the food into little chunks which she then swallowed with no issue.

Then she happily bounced up and down in her chair and smiled at me. Which? I'm pretty sure was Anna's way of telling me that it's okay to let her assert her independence. Even at 8 months old.

Oh, this motherhood thing is going to make an old, nervous lady of me, folks.

But Anna will guide me right on through it.

I just know it.

Anna's visit

2010-09-21T09:20:00.006-04:00

Today, I shall not write about Anna's sleep habits.

Instead, I will try and find something more exciting for you to read about.

(Pause. Blink. Blink.)

Oh wait. My life isn't very exciting.

Would you like to know about the breakfast I just ate? Or the laundry I have to do? Or the cleaning and cooking I have yet to get done? How about a list of my errands I must run? All very gripping stuff, I tell ya.

Sometimes I wonder why people read blogs. What is it about my life that makes you actually want to read it? Am I boring you to death with the daily accounts of Anna's lack of sleeping?

Then I do something like I did today. And I realize that people should really hear about it.

Today, Anna and I went to an Early Years Drop-In Centre for a program called "Family Time Intergenerational". Anna and I hung out and played with other little kids, and seniors, at a seniors' home.

I'm not going to lie... sometimes I'm quite uncomfortable around really old people. Not having grandparents around in my life, I've never really been close to someone who's grown old. I've never seen someone I know lose their "with it" factor. I don't quite know how to act, and I feel sort of awkward, around people who don't seem to be able to hear or see very well. Who don't really know where they are. Who can't communicate anymore.

But when I dropped into another Early Years Centre (strictly for babies and toddlers), the woman there told me about this centre where they mix up the company and bring the little kids to sing songs, do crafts, play games and so on with the old folks.

I was intrigued.

And when the woman there told me that it means the world for these old people just to watch little babies and kids play and laugh and sing, I was sold. I wanted to be a part of that.

So today, Anna and I joined a group of about 8 seniors and 4 other little kids. Out of the 8 seniors, only 3 seemed to be able to really talk. Another senior didn't even seem to be able to lift her head all that well. Most just sort of stared around the room a bit blankly.

But when Anna and I got up and walked around the circle, past each senior, stopping to wave and dance and sing a little bit... I realized that the woman who told me about this program really knew what she was talking about.

I saw one man's blank stare change... instantly. He looked right at me. His face lit up. It literally lit up. And he watched Anna watch him. He was happy that my baby was just looking at him.

I saw an old lady look at Anna and smile. And then I saw her look right into my eyes, as if she was telling me how lovely my baby was. And when I smiled back at her, I knew we were communicating without words.

I listened to one old woman tell me that Anna was just the sweetest. And I watched another woman's face shine when Anna reached out and grabbed her finger.

It's the little, very simple moments like today that make me realize maybe I do have a story worth telling. The fact that Anna can bring happiness to these old folks just by being her, just by looking into the eyes of another human being... well, that's pretty special.

And that's something that I think everyone would like to read about.

The shoes

2010-09-17T20:39:00.008-04:00

I have this memory.

I must have been about 10 or 11 years old at the time.

I remember very clearly how I felt and what I thought then. And now, as a 31-year old - as a parent - I see the whole thing in a completely different light.

I was in grade school. That time in your life when peer acceptance seems to be more important than anything else. And I had a prized possession...

My penny loafer shoes.

They were THE coolest thing to me. They went with every outfit I had and looked good with any style. I loved wearing them so much that I had worn a hole through the sole of one of the shoes. But it didn't bother me at all. They didn't hurt to wear. They still looked cool. So what was the harm of a little hole?

My Mom found out and informed me that I needed a new pair of shoes. What I didn't realize at the time was that my parents were going through a rough patch, financially. A new pair of fancy penny loafers were not really a possibility.

Who hasn't dealt with tight times when it comes to money? With a bad recession going on and self-employment, of course the last thing my parents would want to throw money at was shoes that I thought "looked cool". (However, I knew nothing of these rough times until much, much later in my life. Just one of the many signs that my Mom and Dad knew how to raise their children well).

So my Mom took me to Woolco to buy a pair of shoes. An affordable pair of shoes that served their purpose. That supported my feet and laced up and fit me well.

In other words, shoes that embarrassed the crap out of me as a 10-year old. They weren't penny loafers... so when I walked into class the next day with my new shoes, I tried to hide my feet with every awkward step.

I was horrified at the time. I had these shoes that just couldn't live up to my penny loafers. And my parents made me wear them.

But now. Now, as an adult, I see things so differently. Mom and Dad were dealing with some rough times. Money can be one of the main things that divides a marriage. That pulls apart a family. And they were just doing what they could.

I realize now that they had a lot of stress and not a lot of money. But they were doing what only really good parents can do. They were providing for me. They were making sure I was taken care of. They were giving me what I needed.

And in turn, they were giving me the self confidence and assurance I needed as a child to know that I would always be taken care of, that I would always be loved, that I wouldn't need to fend for myself so long as they were there. So I could grow into a confident, independent, happy woman who knew that if all else in my life failed me, I had parents who loved me unconditionally and who would always, always take care of me.

What more can someone ask for? Really.

And yet, it took me about 20 years to realize that that's what they were doing for me. 20 long years to discover that they weren't meanies who made me wear embarrassing shoes to school. They were parents who provided for their children no matter what - even when life was pretty hard for them. And they never, ever let their kids carry any of the burden at all.

On the surface, they were buying me a pair of shoes.

But what my parents were really doing for me was giving me an incredible life. And making me a better parent, too.

All with a simple pair of Woolco shoes.

Anna learns to protect her pears

2010-09-15T08:23:00.003-04:00

This morning I stole a portion of Anna's pureed pears for my breakfast. (I added it to my oatmeal). Does the fact that I'm taking food from my babe make me Mother of the Year?? Does it??

I figure I'm teaching Anna important life skills by stealing her breakfast. She's got to learn to fight for her food. Survival of the fittest and all that, you know?

Anywho. Last night, as Anna woke at 1am crying and close to inconsolable, I wondered what the heck I was doing wrong. I wondered who these women are out there that can get their babies to sleep through the night. And how on earth do they know how much to feed their babies so they don't wake up hungry in the middle of the night at 7 and a half months old?

(Mind you, maybe if her Mommy weren't eating her food portions, Anna wouldn't wake hungry. Again... I hear the Mother of the Year folks knocking at my door.)

Back to the sleep thing. I've realized I have to learn never to put the good nights in writing, because it seems that as soon as I do... they stop happening. Not that last night was a really "bad" night. But Anna did wake up about 3 times and needed us to help her get back to sleep each time.

Ah well. One day all of this will seem a foggy, distant memory. I'll look back on it and laugh at myself and wonder how I could ever have had so much freakin' self-doubt.

In the meantime, I have to keep reminding myself that Anna will be okay. She won't need me to come in and cuddle her back to sleep when she's 17-years old. She'll learn to do things on her own eventually. (Just now she's starting to get the hang of how to begin crawling. She's a genius child.)

Anyway. Whenever I'm steeped in self-doubt and worry and whenever I've convinced myself that I'm not doing all the right things for Anna's development... I remember one important thing. I remember that I'm able to do the most important thing of all for her without even trying. I'm able to give her the best gift a parent can give their child.

Unconditional and overwhelming love.

The Need to Know File

2010-09-12T18:52:00.002-04:00

Things you need to know about Anna at 7 months, 1 week:

She usually naps for almost 2 hours every afternoon now.
Last night was the second night that she slept through the night. (And the first night that I got to sleep for an 8 hour stretch. AN 8 HOUR STRETCH, PEOPLE!!)
She loves to hug. And has started snuggling more.
She is a happy, happy baby.
She had peas and carrots mixed with applesauce and plain yogurt for dinner. Sounds kinda gross, but I think it was kind of yum.
She can sit up the entire time she's in the bath without falling over, she knows how to put her soother back in when it falls out at night and she loves to kick her legs like crazy when she's lying down.

Things you may or may not be interested in knowing about me right now:

I have a thyroid problem. Hypothyroid. Blah. I'm hoping that the medicine at least helps with my post-baby weight struggle.
I'm back into running for real now. Ran a 5k race yesterday... went jogging with Mom and Anna today... joining another 10k Running Room clinic in October. Woo!
I'm sadly addicted to Jersey Shore. Very sad. I know. (I'm hanging my head in shame right now). (I'm also watching an episode right now).
Due to Anna's "Fussy Schedule", Andrew and I currently tend to eat dinner at 5:00 on the dot. The Blue Hair Special. Awesome.
I seem to have sciatic pain at night now and I get acid reflux if I drink coffee in the evening. I'm like a 75-year old woman. Even more awesome.

And now I have to cut this short because Anna's been in bed for the night for about 45 minutes and has just woken up upset. Gotta go see if Mama can help fix whatever it is that's bothering the poor little pookie.

(Faithful readers: you may have noticed that I call both Andrew and Anna my pookie. It's also my name for Arwen the cat. I'm very creative, I know.)

Have you ever...

2010-09-08T19:16:00.004-04:00

Fellow Mamas. I've been wondering about my sanity lately. So I've got a question or two for y'all.

Tell me. Have you ever...

Discovered puke on your clothes LONG after you've gone out?
Thought to yourself "Meh" after discovering said puke?
Wiped a piece of food off of your kid's face and then licked it, sucked it or consumed it in some other manner off of your finger?
Done the old saliva-clean to rub dirt off your kid's face?
Found yourself "just finishing up" your kid's breakfast? Or lunch? Or breakfast, lunch and dinner?
Filled your glass of wine almost to the top because nobody's around to judge you?
Realized you're drinking alone?
Not cared that you're drinking alone?
Started regularly singing to yourself - and singing Every. Single. Thing. that you could normally just say in sentence form quite easily?
Made up a song about sweet potato? (Or whatever you're feeding your child that day). (My song goes: "Sweet potato, sweet potato, sweet potato, sweet potato. I am making you sweet potato!")
Started examining your baby's poop closely, noting the size and consistency, looking for evidence of what he or she ate the night before?
Stopped referring to your husband by his name? (And found that he answers to Daddy even when the kid isn't around?)
Introduced yourself to a group of Moms at a coffee shop and then realized that they're NOT the Moms Group you were supposed to meet up with? (I did this one today).
Designated one of your bras the "going into public" bra?

If you've nodded along with any of these... I like you. We can be friends.

Long weekend reflection

2010-09-07T09:10:00.003-04:00

Another long weekend, come and gone. (Not that it makes much of a difference to me, really. The days are all mushing into one long MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday lately). :)

I've always been a fan of the labour day long weekend. Time for a fresh start. New things. New experiences.

Andrew starts his new job today. I'm heading back to hot yoga. Anna's learning to sleep again. It's all good.

This morning, as I walked around my house while Anna napped, making my coffee and tidying up here and there, I began to compose today's blog in my head. I thought about how good things are for me right now. I thought about how lucky I am. And how it's time for me to focus on that.

No more "woe is me" negative self-talk. Instead, I'm going to focus on the fact that I'm lucky enough to be able to sit here and enjoy a cup of coffee in the comfort of my cozy little home while my gorgeous daughter naps.

I'm going to enjoy the breeze coming in my window. And the rays of sun warming my kitchen floor.

I'm going to be grateful that I can go to yoga and go for a run and my body will feel relaxed and energized afterwards.

I'm going to be glad that I have a husband who loves me more than anything. And that I have a healthy, happy family.

I'm going to realize how lucky I am that I have such good friends, who constantly reach out to me when I need a little support. Who make me laugh, make me think, make me realize who I am and who I want to be.

I'm just going to let my perfectly wonderful life be what it is.

And I'm going to take it all in.

My 7 month old...

2010-09-04T11:55:00.002-04:00

... is learning how to sleep again. (Thank you, Anna. Thank you ever so much).

... loves solid foods. Peaches and apples combined was a big fave this week.

... needs a few minutes to get used to someone other than Mommy or Daddy before you can hold her.

... prefers to sleep on her tummy now - and only fusses or cries for a minute or so when she's first put down for a nap.

... likes to mimic Mommy. When I laugh, she laughs.

... loves to grab at absolutely everything in her sight. She especially loves bottles.

... has mini-hissy fits if you take something away from her when she wants it. (For example, last night at bath time, she was sucking on the wash cloth I was trying to use to clean her with. When her bath was done and I took the cloth away to pick her up out of the bath - the girl screamed bloody murder.)

... only needs a little distraction to make her happy again.

... smiles the biggest smiles in the world when she gets up in the morning. And when she sees Daddy. Or Mommy. Or Grandma, Grandpa, Nanny and Grandpa.

... sits up like a total champ. She's so steady. Sitting is totally old news to her now.

... isn't crawling yet, but can move her body in a complete circle when she's on her tummy.

... gives Mommy HUGE kisses. Big, wet kisses on the side of my face.

... reaches out to me now when she wants to be held or picked up. (Melts my heart. I love it so much).

... isn't as interested in breastmilk as she used to be. She really only wants to nurse maybe 3 times a day now. (Which concerns me a little. Is that normal? Does she need more?)

... is perhaps the most gifted, cutest, prettiest, most amazing little girl in the entire universe.

Mommy loves you, my little 7-month old gorgeous baby.

Never say never

2010-09-01T20:12:00.004-04:00

A few things...

Thank you to everyone for your comments and emails and calls. Fellow Moms are amazing support and I can't thank all of you enough. (And thank you to my non-Mommy friends, too!)

I learned (the hard way) that sometimes I need to ask for help. Sometimes I really need to take a nap. Sometimes I need to get out to a yoga class. Sometimes I just need a mini-break to go for a run to clear my head. Because when I'm exhausted? Everything seems way worse than it is. Things really aren't that bad.

Anna is 7 months now (in a few days) and since I feel like I've tried absolutely everything in the past 2 and a half months to get her to sleep with no luck... I'm trying something I said I would NEVER do. (Doesn't the whole "I never..." thing go hand-in-hand with Motherhood?)

So. Here it is. I'm going to let Anna cry.*** (***There's a BIG, FAT "but" attached to that.)

I'm going to let her cry a little... BUT...

I'm going to try staying in the room with her and speaking softly to her and shhh-ing her so she knows I'm still there.
I'm going to still give her her soother if it falls out of her mouth because she can't quite figure out how to grab it and put it back in yet.
I'm going to go to her immediately when she cries in the middle of the night... I just won't pick her up. I'll keep shh-ing her and replacing her soother until she falls back asleep.

There it is. My method.

HUGE SIGH.

Back when I was pregnant and even when Anna was teeny tiny, I used to hear the Moms who said they let their babies cry and I silently thought to myself, "I would never do that. That's just teaching your baby that you won't be there for them."

Then Anna started having these crying fits and I realized that all the attachment parenting techniques in the world weren't helping Anna relax and sleep better.

So... whether you agree with the technique or not, I feel in my Mama gut that this is okay for Anna. She used to be a good sleeper. She's happy as can be during the day when she's awake. She wakes up happy in her crib, and smiles at me with the biggest, brightest gummy grin every morning when I go to get her up. I have a feeling I won't be ruining her by trying this out.

******Edited to add: I started this blog before I had fully tried the whole cry method. Now, I've tried it for 2 nights and 1 day of naps. Here's my progress so far:

Night 1:

Did Anna's bedtime routine with her (dinner, bath, jammies, book, then cuddle for a bit).
Put her in her crib awake. She cried pretty much non-stop for 30-40 minutes when she realized I wasn't going to pick her up. But I stood there and just kept saying to her "It's just bed time honey", "Mommy's here" and "Time for sleep Anna... that's all".
After 30-40 minutes she fell asleep.
During the night she woke up 3 times. Once was just for her soother (and then she went right back to sleep) and twice she cried non-stop for 20 minutes while I repeated the whole process of talking to her.
Then she slept soundly until 8am and woke up happy.

Night 2:

Did the nighttime routine and put her down awake again.
This time she cried off and on for 15 minutes and then fell asleep.
She woke up a half an hour later crying. I tried shh-ing her, then just popped her soother back in her mouth and she immediately fell back asleep.
During the night, she woke up 4 times (instead of just 3 like the previous night), but she just needed her soother 3 of the 4 times, and only cried off-and-on for about 20 minutes the other time.
She slept until 6:45 (her usual wake-up time) talking to herself and making happy noises.

During naps, she goes to sleep within 5 minutes and sometimes stays asleep for an hour or more. (Although, she still takes just a half hour nap sometimes, too).

So I think it's going pretty well. Anna's already crying less at bedtime, which is my main goal. And she's happy... that's the most important thing.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long process to get her to actually stay asleep all night - but at least it's getting better.

So there you have it. I said I'd never do it and I'm doing it. Next thing you know, I'll be putting Anna on a leash before taking her out places.

(Oh man, I hope not.)

Advice, please

2010-08-30T09:01:00.003-04:00

Okay Mamas. I'm calling on you again.

I have a baby who hates sleep.

Like, HATES sleep.

Right now, she's exhausted. She's actually been showing signs of sleepiness since about 8:15am (It's 9:15am). I've been battling with her to nap since 8:30am. Fighting to go to sleep is a very regular thing for us. In fact, if she's down in 45 minutes, that's a good day. It takes over an hour most times to get her to bed at night.

The frustrating thing is that this is *relatively* new. Up until about 4 months, she slept great. She would nap for a long time and barely needed any help getting to sleep. She slept for long, long stretches at night and didn't wake up frequently at all.

Even after 4 months, until about 5 months, getting her down to sleep wasn't that tough. She wouldn't sleep long at all during naps, but getting her to sleep was relatively easy.

Now - it's a whole new story. Anna will be 7 months this week, and it's a battle to get her to sleep and to stay asleep Every. Single. Time she goes for a nap or to bed at night.

She doesn't want us to hold her (she arches her back and fights and cries), but she doesn't want us to put her down in her crib either. That just wakes her up and she rolls around and plays with anything she can get her hands on (like the side of the crib) and then she starts crying when she realizes we're not there. Once she's asleep for the night, she wakes up frequently, crying and upset. She used to just need her soother and would fall back asleep. Now, sometimes she just needs her soother, but most of the time she needs us to hold her or me to feed her before she'll calm down and go back to sleep.

I've tried putting her down when she's pretty much asleep. I've tried putting one of my shirts in the crib with her so she would know I was still "there". We've tried lowering the crib and putting a breathable bumper on so that she can't see as much, and won't get caught in the sides. I've tried lavender oil and lavender cream. I've tried letting her cry a little bit. I've tried the "pick up/put down" method. I've tried putting my hand on her until she drifts off to sleep. I've tried putting her down earlier (at the very first sign of tiredness), and I've tried waiting until she's definitely sleepy. I've tried giving her more solids during the day. And I've tried giving her more breastmilk, too. I've even tried putting her in the swing.

And every time I try something new, I'm consistent with it for several days to a week to get her used to it. (I know consistency is key). (Then again, why be consistent with something that doesn't work after a week of trying?)

I know that one day she'll sort herself out and all will be right in the world again. The only thing is... I'm just about at my breaking point waiting for her to get there.

Maybe it's because I had two late nights out last week (a party and a wedding), which makes the night time wake ups and the nap battles that much worse the next day. Or maybe it's because I've been dealing with some sort of sleep issue with her for 3 months now. All I know for sure is that I'm cranky, I look and feel like crap, I get irritable more often and I'm not that much fun to be around.

Woe is me.

So anyway... if you have any advice to offer, if you went through this too, even if you just want to tell me you love me, I sure could use it right now.

Many thanks, from a VERY tired Mom.

PS: Anna is lucky she's SO freakin' cute.

Who, me??

Mish mash, Volume 2: The morning edition

2010-08-26T08:09:00.007-04:00

Some of you may recall that I have admitted to being somewhat less than *ahem* eloquent and coherent in the mornings these days (that's what you get when your babe refuses to sleep more than a 2 hour stretch at night). And, therefore, in the past I covered it up nicely with my mish mash post.

Well. It's time for mish mash 2:

I'm watching Anna slumped over in her swing right now, sort of looking around, but mostly just licking the tray that goes over top of her lap. Methinks this is a sign that I should perhaps stop blogging and attend to my poor little child's needs. Would you agree? No? She's fine? Okay then. She can stay licking for a little while longer. (On a side note - Anna has never enjoyed her swing. But I thought I'd give it a shot once more today. Now that she's big enough to awkwardly slump to one side and rest her head on the hard plastic tray, she seems to really like it.)

*********************************

Yesterday I hosted my first every playdate for the Mom's group I joined. The verdict? Success!! Of course, I went all Howard Hughes neurotic before they arrived, making sure that the snacks were set out nicely (I rearranged the forks more times than I care to admit) and ensuring the coffee was brewing so that as my new Mom friends walked in the door they would be met with the sweet smell of fresh java. Oh, and also? I made the hubster come with me on a multiple store search for this colourful alphabet rubber mat thingy that we put on the hardwood floor so the babies would have something soft to sit on. It was only $19, but after yesterday's playdate I realized I don't have a whole crap load of use for the thing. I'll just have to keep hosting playdates, I guess? Perhaps I can get more and more Martha Stewart about it as each playdate approaches. I can have themes! And crafts! And season-related snacks! Or... I can throw a box of timbits on the table and just keep dusting the cat hair and food off the mat before everyone arrives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the end of our cottage vacation last week, Andrew, Anna and I went to another cottage to spend time with Andrew's family for a couple of days. At said cottage, I slept on a bed that felt deceivingly comfortable at first. Then on our last day there (which was a Sunday) I woke up with a pretty stiff back. Lucky me, it started getting worse and worse as time wore on. By Monday afternoon, I could barely walk. I couldn't lift Anna (thank goodness Andrew was home from work that day and the next) and I couldn't sit or lay down comfortably. Such fun! Now, pre-Anna days, I would have popped as much medication as I could get into my gimpy little body. But because I'm breastfeeding and forever feeling this phenomenon known as "Maternal guilt", I suffered with the intense pain and no meds for as long as I could. Actually, that's not true. I took a couple of Advil because I was certain those were fine. But I held off on the Robaxacet muscle relaxant stuff as long as I could. (By Monday night, I had to take some. So I waited until after I nursed Anna for the last time that evening and then took a few so I could sleep.)

The next day, I made an appointment for a massage to see if that would help. While there, I filled out the little form they ask you to fill out, detailing my complete medical history as far back as I could remember. Anyway - so I wrote down that I was breastfeeding. As the dude's massaging me and talking to me about the muscle pain and what I can do after the massage to help alleviate the pain, he says to me in a very "this is not a question" way: "You're not taking any Advil or anything because you're breastfeeding". My response? "Uh... no. Nope, I'm not. Well... actually - I took two last night. But that was it."

I lied to the massager guy who doesn't know me from Adam!!!! What the heck is wrong with me?? I feel so guilty about a couple of pain relievers getting into my booby milk that I need to lie to a complete stranger?? Ever since he said that, I started thinking about every "bad" thing I've put into my body and it's effect on my poor little Anna. (Aspartame! Caffeine! Alcohol! My baby doesn't have a chance. What have I done????????) Then I remember that I'm not smoking crack and I realize that maybe - just maybe - Anna will be okay after all.

*********************************

Finally - for the last tidbit in my mish mash post - just because it's cute... Here's Anna with a cloth diaper on her head. Enjoy my baby's insane cuteness. (And don't mind my over-zealous boasting. I'm a proud first-time Mama.)

Anna goes on vacation

2010-08-23T20:50:00.012-04:00

We're back from vacation. (Did you miss me? Did you? How much? Tell me.)

So the cottage was awesome. Even though the weather wasn't great and we didn't get a whole lot of sleep, the fam had a great time. How could you not with a spot on a quiet lake, wine at sunset, a good book and a lot of relaxing? Yep. It was just what Hez needed.

Of course, it was quite different this year. Andrew and I were talking about how much things have changed since Anna came into our lives. And it was very evident as we got up at 6am every morning on vacation. (6am. On vacation. Every day. Us former DINKS are just not used to that.)

Anyway, so we had a really nice time. Although... it was pretty chilly a couple of days and I didn't really bring any warm clothes for Anna. So we kept her in her fuzzy little sleep sack and put an adorable hat on her. Ah... voila:

Yes, Anna's playing with Daddy's toes. The kid has loads of toys... but to her? Toes are freaking awesome.

Exhibit A:

We also saw the sun. Thank goodness.

Anna liked it.

And Mommy loved playing with Anna.

All was good on Golden Pond. That's for sure.

5 hours later...

2010-08-13T21:42:00.005-04:00

***Warning: This blog contains information about the working order of my bowels. Read at your own discretion/risk.***

The last blog was written by a woman feeling totally normal and lovely. (Me).

5 hours and 20 minutes later (around 3:00 in the morning), however, I was no longer feeling totally normal and lovely. Instead, I developed a fever and felt cold (even though I was sweating) and then started puking my guts out.

Ah, joy.

I threw up from about 3 in the morning until 11 - approximately every half hour to an hour. I couldn't work up the energy to get out of bed for the entire day other than to go to the bathroom. Walking hurt my stomach. Lying on my side hurt my stomach. Thinking hurt my stomach.

Then the poops began.

Double joy.

Okay, so maybe I'm sounding somewhat dramatic... but I'm telling you, this stomach bug that I developed (which was only 24 hours THANK THE LORD), was horrid. Horrid, horrid, horrid. It threw me for quite the loop.

So I was completely out of commission all day Tuesday and I even felt pretty craptastic all day Wednesday, too. (Except that I wasn't puking or pooping anymore). On Thursday I felt pretty much 100% better, so I went to a playdate. And I spent today getting ready for our week-long cottage vacation (commencing tomorrow).

So, it's been a busy week, to say the least.

All this is to let you know that: a) I haven't been blogging because I was sick, then busy, and b) I won't be blogging for another week, as we'll be on vacation and there won't be Internet access. (I might freak out a little bit by the end of the week if I can't check Facebook or gmail a thousand times each day, but hey - c'est la vie.)

So, I hope you don't miss us too much! I promise that some fun Anna updates will follow.

Andrew, Anna and I are looking forward to relaxing, swimming, napping (a little), eating, playing and just putting our feet up and taking in the sun and the lake.

Until we return... Love and kisses from cute little Anna to all of you!

My daughter and I

2010-08-09T21:40:00.004-04:00

Anna had her 6-month Well Baby appointment last week. (She's 16 pounds, 5 oz. and 26 and a half inches long. She's a big, ol' healthy baby!)

During the visit, her doctor mentioned that Anna was doing excellent and I was doing a great job. I smiled and said "She's a lot of fun, that's for sure." He (a father of 2-year old twin girls) said that if someone had told him when his girls were 6 months old that it was only going to get more and more fun as they get older and older, he wouldn't have believed them because he couldn't imagine it being any better than it already was.

But, he assured me, it's true. It only gets better and better as each day passes and as each month goes by and as each birthday rolls around.

And I'm starting to understand exactly what he means.

Anna and I have so much fun together now - and I just consider myself so lucky to have her around. She was always amazing to me (as is apparent by reading my blogs about her) - but now, she's even more fun. If that's possible.

We go places together. We laugh together. We snuggle and play and sing and yell happily together. She gives me big wet kisses on my cheek and I smother her with smooches. She grabs my hair and pulls me close to her. And I pick her up and hug her tight to my body.

We're a team, my daughter and I.

And as each day passes, we have more and more fun. We have more memories. More things to learn about each other. More love. My life is just... more.

Man, I'm lucky.

We also have more sleepy pajama days, don't we Mommy?

Things to remember

2010-08-06T12:34:00.005-04:00

I need to remember a few important things regarding Anna's eating habits. And I don't have a pen and paper handy. But I do have my laptop. So, here is my blog post that is less of a blog, and more of a note to self:

Anna's not overly fond of avocado, unless I mix a little breastmilk into it. Then she'll eat it right up.
She loves... sorry, I mean... LOVES bananas. (She is my daughter, after all).
She seems to be getting tired of cereal. Note: mix some banana in and see what she thinks?
A diversionary spoon always works well when she's insisting on feeding herself. That way, she can chew on the spoon and you can feed her with the other.
When she starts to get fussy and cranky, it means she's done. (It's probably best to try and do the dreaded face wipe before she gets to this point).
Remember to call the university back. (This has nothing to do with Anna's eating habits... but they called and I want to remember to call them back.)

Poor Anna. Until they start making baby books online... she's not going to have much of her baby-hood all compiled into one neat little package. I'm afraid this is all Mama can do right now, baby. You still love me, right?

I mean it... I really am here!

2010-08-03T19:20:00.012-04:00

I know, I know... it's bad blogging etiquette to disappear for a long time. But, Anna and I have been pretty busy. We've been going for coffee and brunch with people, we went to my cousin's trailer and relaxed on the beach, we've been to parks and out shopping. We've also been swimming and we've taken some really great naps. We're totally taking advantage of this summer thing.

In the middle of all this, Anna's had some major milestones. She's 6 months old (tomorrow), she's learned to sit up, and she's started eating solids.

Somehow, I've managed to forget the camera every time Anna's been in her super-awesome cute swimsuit... so I'll just have to remember it when we head out on our cottage vacation. However, I've managed to capture some of the past fun on film.

For your viewing enjoyment:

Anna's learned to sit up on her own. Can you stand the cuteness? Can you?

Hello Mummy! Look at me! I'm sitting up! I sit up super good, don't I?

(Sort of.)

Next, Anna started some solids. Yummy rice cereal!

Mmmm....

Nom nom nom.

The verdict? DEE-LISH!

Next... onto avocado! (And onto Anna's face. Everywhere.)

Hmm... not so sure about this yet, Mummy. It's lumpy. And green.

Although, feeding myself is fun. I like the feeding myself thing.

I'm still here!

2010-07-21T22:23:00.002-04:00

A few things you may or may not want to know about me:

It's been too hot to blog. It's been too hot to do anything. I'm about this close to sitting around the living room in my undies with a cold wash cloth on my head.
My left eye has been inexplicably watering all day long.
I went to bed at 9:30 last night and it was glorious.
Glorious!
I joined a Moms group online this week and am going to meet up with some totally random women that I know nothing about other than the fact that they live in the same area as me and have sprung children from their loins. (Sprung? Is that right?)
If you don't hear from me again, it was most likely the Moms that did it. It'll be like the game Clue: It was The Moms. In the park. With a hooter hider.
Also, someone please remind me not to discuss the following topics with these Moms that have never met me before: religion, politics, attachment parenting, circumcision, vaccinations or breastfeeding (especially breastfeeding in public).

Have a good Thursday, y'all. If I haven't expired from the heat, I'll tell you about my date with the Moms tomorrow.

Said by Hez

2010-07-15T20:10:00.005-04:00

New in the Anna-Andrew-Hez-news front:

Anna went to her first cottage for 3 days, and had a fantastic time! She swam in a big ol' lake, slept well in a play pen, and got to watch her little cousin run around, all full of beans.

All in all, it was a successful first for little Anna.

Now that we're back home, Mommy's trying to figure out what to do with her time again. It's gorgeous out, and Anna loves being outside, so I'm trying to take Anna out and about as much as possible. However, walking around by myself just ain't cutting it anymore. (And one can only jog so much in this heat and humidity).

Anywho. Not much else to report. (Thrilling update, I know). More interesting info to come in the next installment.

But first! I'm jumping on the "Shit my Dad Says" bandwagon and including some of my favourite (and real) quotes, said by myself and those lucky enough to be considered within my circle of friends.

So, here it is folks. The first edition of "Said by Hez":

"Did you know that Miracle Whip refuses to tone itself down? This is not your Grandma's mayonnaise." ~Hez to her brother Chris in a Facebook post after seeing the new Miracle Whip commercial

"Nor should it.. if there's anything i want in my sandwich spread, it's an unwavering belief that it should never, ever 'tone it down'.. my real question is, who's asking them to tone it down? seriously? I guess it's just 'The Man' trying to keep a good mayonnaise oppressed like usual.. the bastards!" ~Chris' response

Here's a few oldie but goodies from my collection of work quotes. (These things were actually said by me and my coworkers within my business establishment).

"Hey, are we stripes or sobers?" ~Hez to coworker whilst playing a game of pool.

"I've had a lot to drink. Here's 100 dollars." ~Hez's coworker, drunkenly settling up the bill after a night at the pub.

A junior scientist, cuteness overload and heartbreak.

2010-07-09T07:06:00.002-04:00

When I had just had Anna, I received some mail from the University near us about the Infant and Child Studies Centre and their need for young babies to research what they call "the cuteness quotient".

Okay, I made that last bit up. But Anna would totally be off the charts if it were true.

Yesterday morning, I did take Anna to the research lab at the University, but it was to help further the study of language recognition in babies.

We sat in a little room together, Anna on my lap, and Mama with a big old pair of headphones on so I couldn't hear anything and couldn't influence Anna in anyway. Then, some blinking lights went off while passages were read out in English and then Norwegian. I think the study was based around the whole idea that if they play English (which Anna is used to), she would eventually get bored with it because it was so familiar. So, if they played Norwegian (something different and new), and Anna turned to look at the source, that would mean she could recognize a difference between the two languages already.

I should have warned them that Anna is very advanced for her age and they may want a "regular" baby to test.

Anywho. It was interesting! And Anna got an official certificate from the University, proudly presenting her with the Honourable Title of Junior Scientist - "in recognition of outstanding performance in a Language and Speech Project which has greatly contributed to the advancement of science and the understanding of child development."

Yay Anna!

After that, I took her to a park to meet up with some girlfriends. The park had a great wading pool, so I brought Anna's ridiculous bathing suit with us. I say ridiculous, because it's pretty much a pant suit. But in little baby size. Which means? It's insanely cute.

Anna can't have sunscreen put on her delicate little skin yet, and because she has Andrew and I for parents, she doesn't have much hope of ever being a bronze goddess. Therefore, a few minutes in the sun and she'd sizzle. So - that's why we went with the bathing-pant-suit. I must reiterate: CUTE! Cuteness overload. Honestly.

Anyway, Anna had a great time. It was so adorable... she was squealing and smiling and looking around at everyone. And afterwards, when I put her in the car seat and headed home, she was out cold immediately. Good baby.

The day ended on somewhat of a depressing note, however, when Andrew and I took a tour of a local daycare. The place seemed good... the kids all looked like they were having fun. But... I don't know. Something didn't feel right.

The kids were all separated by age into different rooms. So - the infant room had babies from about 12 to 18 months. The toddler room was 18 months to 2 years, etc. etc. Makes sense. But there was just something about seeing those little babies in the infant room that broke my heart. The daycare was fine and the kids were all sitting there together. But they just seemed so little. Too little to be outside of a home... in a centre all grouped together... being cared for by strangers. Sigh.

I know this is normal. And this is what happens. But it just made me sad. And - as my parents both said to me - I'm probably going to hate all daycare centres, and I'm probably going to be a complete and total mess when it's Anna's time.

For now, I think I'll just focus on her little bathing suit and her Junior Scientist certificate.

That makes me happy.

The Unexpected

2010-07-07T14:51:00.002-04:00

When I was pregnant, I don't know what I really expected to happen after my baby was born.

Yes, I expected to be tired. And I expected to be busy. I knew that I'd have to feed and change and take care of this little human's basic needs. But there are some things that nobody can tell you about that you just sort of discover on your own.

For example:

I didn't expect to have a bald, blue-eyed baby. When my midwife first checked me while I was in labour and could tell that my baby had very little hair (kinda gross when you think about how she could tell, no?)... anyway - when she told me that I actually yelled out "Umm... what??" And then when I discovered she had light hair and blue eyes, I was a little bit thrown for a loop. I fully expected a mini-me. I've had dark, dark hair since I was born (and I was born with a full head of hair, too), and have always had brown eyes. Anna? Is still pretty bald 5 months later. And what hair she does have is very light. Sometimes I look at her and think "Are you really mine?" And then she giggles after farting and I know she's got my family's genes.

I didn't expect to lose so much damn hair. It's still falling out like crazy. I'm finding it absolutely everywhere. It's nasty. Like right now... I'm looking at a long, black hair making a question mark shape on my couch cushion. It's like the house's way of asking me "When are you going to clean, lady?"

I didn't expect to enjoy "keeping house". I actually take pride in making my bed each morning, and keeping the kitchen clean, and doing load after load of laundry. The dusting, the floors and the tub, however? They remain dirty. I'm not a total June Cleaver.

I didn't expect to forget the hardest parts so quickly. It seems like ages ago that I would get up in the middle of the night (around 2-4am) and go down to the basement to feed Anna in a sleep-deprived fog. But it was really only a couple of months ago. It seems like even longer since I was up from about 10pm to 1 or 2 in the morning every night... sitting in the basement by myself, watching TV and holding Anna in my arms until she fell asleep, because holding her until she was out cold was the only way to get her to sleep at night. I almost can't remember what it was like to be that exhausted. Almost. And the days of stressing out each time I tried to breastfeed my wee baby are pretty much forgotten. Imagine that. If the me of today told the stressed-out-from-breastfeeding-me that one day I'd be whipping out my boob anywhere and Anna would be eating like a champ, I wouldn't believe her.

I didn't expect things to change so much every, single day. Anna grows and does new things all the time. But, I also mean that I didn't expect her to change things up on Mama every day, too. One day, she'll take a nice, long afternoon nap in her crib. The next day? She'll scream bloody murder if you try to put her anywhere near that damn thing. One day she loves going outside in her stroller. The next day, she wants to be held and will NOT sit in her car seat, thank you very much.

Motherhood. 'Tis an interesting, ever-changing, unexpected thing.

Help me Mamas

2010-07-06T12:49:00.002-04:00

Question for all you Mamas out there:

At 5 months old, did your baby have a routine or schedule or anything?

See, I'm a first time Mama... So, perhaps one day I'll look back and laugh at myself for even wondering this... but for now, I have no idea if I'm doing right by my child.

Anna is super happy and cute and fun most of the day. And then, all of the sudden, she freaks right out. Hubster and I can only assume it's from being over-tired. But I swear, she's not giving me any cues. She doesn't yawn. She's not cranky (until too late, apparently), she doesn't usually have super-rosy cheeks (again, until it's too late).

So, what's a Mama to do?

Part of me thinks it's all my fault because I don't have her on a predictable routine yet... so she doesn't know what to expect from one minute to the next. Which means, of course she's going to not know when to go to bed and then end up getting extremely over-tired.

Another part of me keeps checking my Dr. Sears Baby Book. The one that follows the whole attachment parenting idea. And according to them, I should let Anna sleep with me and lie down in bed with her at nap time, and rock her or nurse her to sleep... etc. etc. All of that is fine and dandy too (I actually really like it)... but then, I wonder - will she learn to fall asleep on her own at any point? Will I always have to lie in bed with her for her to go to sleep?

All I know for certain is that I end up feeling rather guilty every time she has a melt down.

I should know better not to take her out at night past 7pm. I should know how to read her cues and get her to bed before she's really upset. I should not "go with the flow" and let her take 30 minute cat naps all day, rather than a few good, solid, long naps.

Or should I?

The Anna Whisperer

2010-07-05T14:29:00.004-04:00

Apparently, I no longer hold the coveted title of "The Only One Who Can Put Anna Down To Sleep".

Today, I attempted to get my rosy-cheeked baby to bed for her afternoon nap. She screamed and screamed when I held her, when I put her in her crib, when I tried rocking her, when I tried feeding her, when I held her upright, when I kissed her forehead, when I spoke softly to her.

She only stopped long enough for me to actually convince her that she was hungry. So, she had her lunch. Then, I put her back in her crib looking drowsy. Which, according to Anna, meant "TIME TO WAKE UP!!!"

She spent the next 15 minutes cooing and babbling to herself, kicking her legs in the air and opening her eyes wider than I thought they could possibly go.

Enter Andrew. The Anna whisperer.

He took her out of her crib, brought her downstairs into our basement and sat with her on the recliner. A few minutes later, while I was up in the kitchen eating my lunch, I turned around just in time to see Andrew walking up the stairs with Anna in a slouched, yet upright position - out cold.

She fell asleep sitting up.

After he put her in her crib, I said to him "So now only you can get her down for a nap I guess." To which he so sensitively replied by looking at me and laughing in a "Neener-Neener" kind of a way.

Oh, Andrew. Silly, silly Andrew.

I was quick to tell him that I certainly didn't mind if he was the one who would spend hours on end trying to get Anna to sleep while I sat in the basement watching TV, relaxing, napping, or doing anything else that tickled my fancy at that moment.

Ha.

Never "Neener-Neener" at a Mom, Andrew.

To remember

2010-07-04T19:19:00.002-04:00

I'm usually very organized... but lately, I seem to be all about disorganization. Therefore, even though I try to be really good about updating Anna's first year calendar (instead of a baby book), there are some things I can't help but forget.

Hence, the following list.

Things I want to remember about you, Anna:

At about 4 months(ish), you started sleeping through the night, only waking up maybe once (and even then, all you needed was your soother). No more night time feedings!
For about a week, you even slept all night long, not waking up once. I thought I had died and gone to sleep heaven.
However, for the past 2 weeks or so (you're now 5 months old), you've been waking in the middle of the night - lots. Like, every 2 hours or so. It's really tiring your Mama out.
You even need to be fed again in order to settle down and get back to sleep. Are you growing?
Ever since you were about 4 months, you started getting extra clingy towards me (I don't mind at all... you're super cute, after all.) But you wouldn't even let your Daddy put you down to bed at night.
For the past week, you've been allowing your Daddy to snuggle you to sleep again. (He says thank you, by the way).
You are super aware of everything around you now.
You no longer like to nap. (You used to do 3 hours in the afternoon... now you take 30 minute cat naps sporadically throughout the day).
You squeal with delight when we put you in your jolly jumper.
You like to yell to hear your voice.
And you take big, deep breaths before you start your yelling.
You smile at lots of people now.
But your biggest smiles are for me. (Thank you.)
You reserve your biggest, gummiest smiles for me when I come and get you in your crib in the morning.
I made you giggle one day.
You cooed a lot today.
You're really good at tummy time now. You no longer hate it.
You're *almost* ready to sit up on your own. I can just sense it.
I've been watching you eye my food intently at every mealtime. You seemed especially interested in my popsicle the other day.
So, tonight, on your 5 month birthday, I decided to give you a little taste of baby rice cereal (just to see your reaction).
At first you seemed pretty confused, but then you kept eating it up when I offered you a tiny bit more to taste. Are you telling me you're ready for it?
You snuggle into my neck when you're tired.
You don't mind me smothering you with kisses.
I love you more than I ever thought possible. (But I'm sure this is something I'll never, ever forget.)

Happy 5 month birthday, baby.

To do

2010-07-02T09:13:00.002-04:00

Happy Canada Day! (A day late... but still.)

Had a great bbq yesterday with the fam. Today, hubster is back at work, so Anna and I are going to chill.

Things on my to-do list include:

Kissing Anna's very, very soft tummy
Going for a walk so Anna can check out all the trees and birds and clouds, etc. (she loves being outside)
Napping together in my bed
Playing around on the floor

That's about it. Quite the list, I know. I'm off to try and accomplish some of it.

Enjoy your weekend, peeps.

The tales of Pez and Smandrew

2010-06-28T15:28:00.003-04:00

There once was a girl named Pez*. She was pretty social. She loved going out, meeting up with friends, seeing movies, dining out, going for a drink - and so on and so forth.

After almost 3 years of DINK (double income, no kids) married life, Pez and her husband Smandrew*, decided to have a baby.

When Pez got pregnant, she was never happier or healthier. She loved being pregnant and couldn't wait to have her little baby arrive. When baby Vanna* finally arrived, Pez and Smandrew were over the moon! They couldn't believe how amazing she was.

Sure, there were some rough moments in the beginning as they found their groove, but before long, Pez and Vanna had a great thing going each day. They had so much fun together. And Pez loved every minute of it.

Then, since things were going so good, Pez decided that she would love to have a teensy bit of her old life again... added on to her new life. Just a teensy bit. Like, for example, after Vanna went to bed, Pez and Smandrew would love to go to the movies. When Vanna woke up in the morning, of course Pez would be there to feed her and snuggle her and play with her. But at night time, Pez and Smandrew would be a couple again.

Well. Baby Vanna would have absolutely none of that! Vanna decided that nobody but Pez was sufficient enough to feed her or put her to bed at night. And if she woke up? Pez had better be there or Vanna would let everyone know in no uncertain terms that she was unhappy.

Vanna was only 4 and a half months old... but for Pez, that was kind of a long time to feel totally and completely tied to her little one at every minute of every day.

However, Pez came to realize that there could be no substitute for the amazingness that she was in Vanna's eyes. (Vanna was obviously very intelligent to figure this out at such a young age). So Pez decided to just go with it.

And even though she couldn't attend a really fun Girl's Weekend, and couldn't really get out with Smandrew much, and rarely ever saw her friends anymore, it was okay with Pez. It was really and truly okay.

Vanna was just so darn cute, that Pez didn't mind being attached to her all the time.

And besides, Pez fully intended on explaining to Vanna one day that the reason she had to be good, or had to give Mommy a break, or had to do what Mommy said was because Mommy did exactly what Vanna wanted whenever Vanna wanted it when she was little.

Pez was so not above holding it over her kid for the rest of her life.

The end.

*Some names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

Anna goes on a picnic

2010-06-26T12:02:00.006-04:00

Weight loss (or lack thereof)

2010-06-21T08:59:00.003-04:00

Stop me if you've heard this one before...

"When you breastfeed, the weight just falls right off."

or...

"I've never been hungrier than when I was nursing. But I ate anything I wanted and kept losing weight!"

and...

"I lost all my pregnancy weight and I didn't really even do anything other than walk a bit."

Yeah. I hate all those bitches.

Okay, so I'm kidding. (Sort of). But I am annoyed (although, shouldn't be surprised) that my body is the exact opposite of everyone else's post-pregnancy experience.

I've been exclusively breastfeeding since day 1. The weight? Is not falling off. (Oh, how it makes me laugh to think that I could have ever believed that would happen for me).

Here's the thing. I gained 38 pounds during my pregnancy. Just a teensy bit more than the 25-35 pounds that is considered a healthy weight gain for me. (Yay me!) Within the first two months after having Anna, I did lose 16 pounds by "doing nothing". After that, my weight loss stalled. But I thought to myself, "That's okay... I'll continue to lose it slowly but surely. That's what everyone says happens. And I'm nursing. And I worked out throughout my entire pregnancy. And I didn't overeat. And now I'm even getting back into jogging a little and doing some yoga." etc etc.

So... yeah - no. That's not what happened. After the weight stopped coming off, I actually started gaining.

(Excuse me for a minute...) WHAT THE EFF?????????????????? I started gaining!??!!!

Come on, Universe! Why the heck do you have it out for me so much? I can do everything right during my pregnancy and yet 3 months after having my baby, I still have 30 POUNDS to lose? (Yes, I gained back 8 pounds. Oh. My. God.)

Le sigh.

So... despite what I've heard from many, many women... my experience is NOT that all I have to do is walk a little to lose the weight. Nor can I eat whatever I want. Breastfeeding is no miracle weight loss cure for me.

In fact, I'm now being VERY careful about what I eat and how much I consume. I also go jogging about 3-4 times a week and do Stroller Fit once a week. I'm careful about food. I'm pretty darn active. And so far, I've lost 8 pounds in about 5 weeks.

My genes... they're wonderful. (Thanks Ma and Pa.)

I think the thing that bugs me about all this is not so much that it takes me a long time and a lot of work to lose the weight - it's the numerous stories from other women of how easy it was. Things like "I gained 65 pounds during my pregnancy and lost all of it but 5 pounds within a few weeks" or "I haven't done any exercise at all and now I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant".

It's not easy for me. It never has been and, now I realize, it never will be. So, even though 90% of the women who get pregnant seem to be able to lose it all and get their bodies back by the time their baby is Anna's age now - doesn't mean that's going to happen for me. And I'd rather not feel like a failure on the body image front.

So, I'm just not going to listen to those stories anymore.

And, honestly? I'm pleased as punch with my 8 pounds in 5 weeks.

I gotta be me

2010-06-14T08:11:00.003-04:00

It's getting to that point where all the days just kind of meld into one and I never really know what day it is (unless it's Tuesday or Wednesday, aka: Stroller Fit and Kindermusik days).

So, I hope you had a lovely weekend! Me? I can't really remember what I did on which day.

However, I do remember Friday.

Lovely, lovely Friday.

Andrew had an interview that morning, so he took the afternoon off work. Anna's Nanny (Andrew's Mom) came by and watched Anna while Andrew and I took full advantage of his hooky day by going to a matinee and then hitting a patio for some nachos and beer.

It was just like old times.

Lovely, lovely old times.

I joke. (Sort of).

I was chatting with a friend of mine over Starbucks lattes Saturday morning about me and my new Mom identity. She was saying how she can't even imagine what it's like to have a baby and how it changes your world, but how she would still like to hold on to some part of herself. And I couldn't agree more.

I think we all know (if you've been a faithful blog reader of mine), that I loved being pregnant. I had never been happier or healthier. And now, having Anna makes me a million times happier. I absolutely love being a Mom. I think it's something I was always meant to do.

But I'm still Hez.

I'm still a social being who loves getting out for a beer. I'm still someone who loves to be on the go, seeing friends, catching movies, dining out, going to the new exhibit at the Science Center with the hubster. And even though I've got little Anna attached to my hip... I still gotta be me.

I'm just not one of those Moms (bless them, though) who can be 100% Mom all the time. Who can forget about the things they used to love to do. Who can stop dining out or seeing friends because their baby has to be in bed by 7pm. Who can put their marriage (even just a teensy bit) on the back burner. Who can cut off communication with the outside world because they're so wrapped up in their little one.

I still devote all my day and a good chunk of my evening to Anna. I still talk to her all day long. I still trot in Kindermusik class to make sure she's happy and engaged. And I love it. Truly, truly love it. I still can't get over how incredibly wonderful it makes me feel when I hold her and she puts her little chubby arms around me and burrows her face into my neck. And I still absolutely and completely love snuggling with her when I rock her to sleep at night.

But I'm not going to lie... beer and nachos on a patio with Andrew on a Friday afternoon was pretty fantastic, too. That's just who I am.

I think those brief little moments make me a better Mom, in fact. Because when I'm away from Anna, I realize how much she's changed my life for the better. And I realize that I don't have to sacrifice much. I can still be me - and be a great Mom to her at the same time.

I also realize that coming home to Anna? Is one of the best feelings in the world.

Booby vs. bottle

2010-06-10T07:24:00.003-04:00

Well, the one thing that stays the same with babies is that they're always changing.

Anna is no longer having insane crying fits each day (thank goodness), but now she seems to absolutely refuse to take a bottle.

Last night, I bathed her and got her into her jammies. Then we normally go downstairs and I feed her, then back upstairs to read a book and rock to sleep. After jammies, Andrew took her downstairs to feed her and I stayed upstairs.

Anna was having absolutely none of it.

She screamed and cried and cried and screamed. And then soon after Andrew would stop trying to feed her, she would relax again. So we thought that maybe she wasn't hungry and we waited a little while. Except that she normally eats every 3 hours and it had been 4 and a half.

So we tried again. And again. And again. But it just didn't seem to be happening.

And now, I appear to be tied to Anna's side for the next 8 months. I can say goodbye to the movie night I had coming up. I can watch my hopes of going away for a weekend in late July with some girlfriends disappear. I can forget yoga class. And a wedding in August? Forget it.

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic. But if this isn't a phase and she completely refuses to eat from the bottle, I think I'm going to feel a bit restricted.

Someone offer me some words of advice or encouragement.

Please?

So.

2010-06-07T09:59:00.003-04:00

Okay. So.

New things with me include:

Anna's still freaking out once to twice a day... screaming all high-pitched and inconsolable for a few minutes. It's really upsetting me. (The only thing that's got me relatively calm is knowing that I took her to the doctor last week during the height of her upset fits and he didn't see anything wrong with her. Ears are fine. Throat is fine. etc. etc. Thank goodness). But anyway, once she starts, I think that I'm the only one (right now) who knows how to calm her down. So, no matter who's holding her, I go and get her and try and relax her.

So that's got my neurotic brain wondering if I'm actually doing her no good by making her all dependent on me. Should I let someone else try and calm her down so she can be relaxed by others? Or is that mean because she's screaming (not just crying) and that obviously means she's upset and needs help?

Sigh.

When we go visiting, I try to pass her around a little so that other people can hold her. I do this for a few reasons. 1) So she isn't super shy and clingy and needs to be with only Mama all the time. 2) So I don't look like an over-protective crazy Mama. And 3) to share the loveliness that is Anna around.

But.... when she gets upset, I need to comfort her. I don't want to listen to her scream and cry while other people try (usually unsuccessfully) to calm her down. I want to walk to another area, away from everyone else and talk softly in her ear while holding her and rocking her and letting her know I'm there.

Is this okay? Am I reacting too much? Am I creating a dependent kid? Or am I just being a Mama?

Oh, the questions and self-doubt.

I'm sure it never ends.

Huge sigh

2010-06-03T21:06:00.004-04:00

You'll notice a complete lack of blogging lately, I'm sure.

Well.

Something is up with Anna and I don't know what it is or how to fix it. Poor thing had 4 screaming fits today (and has had a few over the past few days as well). This is a LOT for my normally very happy baby.

She won't sleep longer than 40 minutes for naps (when she used to do an hour in the morning and 2-3 hours in the afternoon), but seems exhausted.

She may or may not be teething... but the Camilia I gave her tonight didn't seem to do much.

I've tried putting her to bed earlier, tried looking for her sleepy cues, tried rocking her until she was out cold, tried putting her into her bed drowsy but awake, I've tried bringing her into bed with me in the morning, I've tried Baby Tylenol.

I basically feel like I've tried everything short of never leaving the house and making her stay in the stretchy wrap all day.

Sigh.

So... yeah. Blogging is taking a bit of a back seat for now.

What's going on...

2010-06-01T09:46:00.003-04:00

Not much new to report over here. Which is why I haven't written much in a while. Here's a quick little synopsis on what's going on with Hez and Anna lately...

Going to StrollerFit today. Looks gorgeous out again.
Anna's got a stuffed up nose. Sounds like there's lots of junk in there. Poor thing.
We're going to her 4 month Well Baby appointment tomorrow. More shots. Ugh.
I'm trying to get back into a more regular exercise schedule... I've only been doing something about 2 times a week. That's nowhere near enough to make me feel good. So I went out jogging yesterday and the day before that.
Oh, and I also purchased a jogging stroller online. Just waiting for it to be delivered.

That's about it. Very exciting, I know.

More news when I get some!

No further words are necessary

2010-05-26T13:53:00.007-04:00

A story about my boobs

2010-05-25T14:45:00.004-04:00

Today, May the 25th, marks the first and only day that I actually whipped my boob out in public and nursed Anna.

(Holds for applause). (And holds for retching noise from my brother to end).

Ah, thank you. Thank you.

I was at StrollerFit class and Anna got hungry at the end of it when we were all sitting in the park with our babies. So, I attempted to give her the bottle of milk I brought... but I don't think she likes taking bottles from her Mama, because she was having none of it.

It was only making her angrier and angrier. And the poor thing was crying. Since I can't stand to hear her cry (it breaks my heart when she gets the tears going, too), I thought "Hey - these other Mamas have certainly seen nipples before. And my poor Anna is hungry!"

So out came the boob, (sans hooter hider), and Anna was instantly happy again.

And I got over my issue of breastfeeding in public.

Yay for me.

And my boobs.

And for making Anna happy.

The end.

Don't ever make me take that mean old bottle again, Mama. I'm all about your boobs. Just like Daddy.

Mish mash

2010-05-21T08:08:00.003-04:00

As the title suggests, this blog post is just a whole bunch of different thoughts thrown together. Just because it's Friday morning and I can't think of an eloquent, single-minded post. So... yeah. Here you go.

This morning, the height of hilarity to Anna was when she threw up on my shoulder (on her bib, thankfully) and then mushed it into her face. Big smiles all around for that. So I'm thinking I should add "puke on face" right above "blank walls" to the list of things she finds amusing.

**********************************

So, yesterday was HOT around here. Our house was 26 degrees inside. But, since it was such a beautiful day, I didn't want to put the air on... I wanted to enjoy the warmth. However, when it came time to go to bed, our house was still 26 degrees. (Well, it was 25.5... close enough). And when I woke up at midnight to get up and feed Anna, I was roasting. So, after she was done eating, I took off the ol' pajama pants before going back to bed. Then I put them back on before feeding her again at 5am. (For some reason my mind was telling me it was 'wrong' to feed Anna pant-less???) The whole reason for this long, blathering paragraph is because I've just looked down and realized I put them on inside out. And I have no intention of changing them. Apparently it's not acceptable to have no pants on around Anna, but inside-out pants are just fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have had the same damn song stuck in my head for 3 days now. Over and over and over again, it keeps repeating in my head. Sadly, it's a Kindermusik song... so it's not even close to being a good one to have stuck in my adult head. This is my life now? Walking around with puke on my shoulder, my pants on inside out, singing "Come my little darling, a-walking we will go..."???

############################

A few people told me about the post-pregnancy phenomenon of losing your hair. Your hair apparently falls out a lot after you have your baby. I don't know about most women, but my hair used to fall out like crazy before being pregnant... so I assumed I was aware of what it's like to have your hair falling out all over the place. I assumed wrong. I'm now finding my hair (capital "e") Everywhere. Super annoying. I look down at Anna, she's got hair on her sleeper. I go to put her in her crib, but wait! Gotta pick the hairs off her crib sheet first. I go to give Andrew a hug... there's my hair hanging from his chin, stuck in his beard. I feel a tickle on my arm? It's a hair. On the nursing pillow? Hair. On the kitchen floor? Hair. In the shower? Hair. And don't even get me started about the bathroom sink after I've blow-dried. It's like a bird nest just instantly forms in our sink every time I get ready for the day. I seriously hope I don't end up bald in a few months...

```````````````````````````````````

Anna's napping now, so I think I'll take advantage of the time to have a little brekkies, tidy up the kitchen, throw a load of laundry on. Get the day going. That sort of stuff.

(But I'm not changing my pants.)

A letter to you

2010-05-18T09:04:00.002-04:00

Dear Anna,

I started this blog because I love to write. Then, when I got pregnant, my hope was that I could document everything I was thinking and feeling so that one day - you could read it all.

So that you would know what your Mom thought when she was young (ha!) and hadn't even had you yet, but was really, really excited that you were on your way.

And so you would know that when you arrived, you absolutely amazed your Mom and Dad with everything you did.

You would be able to read about the things you liked as a baby. Things that made you unhappy. You could see pictures of the cute faces you made. You would know what your Mom was thinking at the time as she watched you grow up.

(As I type this, you're lying on your playmat, chewing on your hand and kicking your legs in your white cupcake jammies. You look incredibly, incredibly cute. Mommy thinks you're just adorable. But I'm sure you already knew that.)

Sometimes it's hard to remember the little details. I'm already starting to forget how it felt to hold you when you were only 5lbs and 15 oz when you were born. You're already too big to nuzzle into my neck and fall fast asleep after a nighttime feeding. If I didn't have it written down, I might not remember that you smiled for the very first time at me on March 12th. (Now you do it all the time).

It's only human to forget these things. I get caught up in what you're doing right now (smiling and cooing at the panda doll hanging off your playmat) and I tend to forget the little things.

So that's why I have this blog. So you'll know that when you were 3 and a half months old, you absolutely LOVED to stand up in Mommy and Daddy's lap (as long as we held you there, of course) and look around. You'll know that you actually laughed out loud one time when I was giving you a bath.

You'll know that ever since you were about 2 months old, you loved the tree painted on your wall by your "Uncle" Char and that your Dad and I used to call the owl in the tree "Professor SmartFeathers" so you would get a huge grin on your face.

You'll know that your Mom felt silly trotting in Kindermusik class - but I wanted you to be engaged and have some fun. And after only one class, I proudly sung the "Dilly dilly" song to you in front of my friends.

You'll know that I watched your Uncle Chris (the fun, bachelor Uncle who never held babies much) hold you with such tenderness and give you a big kiss on your head at a party in front of all his friends.

You'll know that you scare easily now, you make lots of loud noises when you eat, you love being rocked to sleep on your glider and you hate when I try to clean out the boogies in your nose. (I'm sure you still hate that. I'm sorry, but I can't help it.)

Most of all, you'll know how much you were loved and adored by your Mom and Dad and everyone around you from day one. You'll know that we couldn't imagine our lives without you and that you make us smile and laugh every, single day. You'll know that when Mommy and Daddy hold you and hug you, suddenly all seems right in our lives.

And you'll know that right at this moment, you're letting me know that it's time to wrap up the blog and focus more on you. You're letting out a little cry that seems to say "I want you to give me all your attention, Mommy!"

So that's what it's time for me to do.

All my love now and for the rest of your life,

Mom

Things I love

2010-05-17T14:13:00.002-04:00

Just sitting here with a cup of coffee and Anna sleeping attached to my chest all open-mouthed and cute. And I started thinking, "Man alive, I love this". (Of course, it didn't hurt that I was watching Glee and a sappy music montage was playing in the background).

Either way, I'm now inspired to give you the following list of: Things I Love. (In no particular order)...

Coffee. (This is new. Who knew??)
Anna's triangle mouth hanging open whilst she sleeps
PVR (it's changed my life)
Lululemon stretchy pants
A full fridge (we just went grocery shopping yesterday. Now - all the food with the different colours and shapes and sizes filling up our fridge makes me happy).
Anna's elbow dimples
The sun shining into our kitchen through the blinds
Sleep Sheep (Look it up. It's amazing.)
Sitting in Anna's room, rocking her to sleep on the glider while reading a book in the afternoon
Modern Family (Hilarious!)
Hanging out with friends
Compulsively checking my email and Facebook
Napping on a summer afternoon

Photo op

2010-05-11T15:09:00.010-04:00

Anna and I played around with the photo booth application on my Mac today. Well - I played with it while the poor kid tried to nap.

Here we are. Anna's in the stretchy wrap and Mommy can't resist smooshing her face onto Anna's head.

A close-up of sleepy Anna.

Mommy and Anna in black and white. (Gettin' fancy here).

Old-Western-Styles Mommy and Anna. (Even fancier in sepia tone!)

The back of Anna's insanely cute head.

Mommy rubbing her cheek on top of Anna's head.

And Mommy sniffing and kissing the top of Anna's head.

This is how I spend the better part of my days, folks.

The order of things

2010-05-10T10:46:00.003-04:00

The following is Anna's ranking of Things She Clearly Loves in order of most exciting and amazing, to least loved. Ranking is judged by, and based on the size of her smile when looking at said object:

The tree mural on her wall
Kitchen ceiling fan
Play mat
Blank walls
Mommy and Daddy
Jolly jumper
Light fixtures

I think Mommy and Daddy just squeaked by the Jolly Jumper - mainly because it's brand new to her - and she's still a little small for it. However, I'm pleased to say that we rank higher than light fixtures.

She's lucky she's so cute.

Anna cries at Mama's singing

2010-05-05T14:24:00.003-04:00

Here's an email I sent to my friend today.

Subject: At Kindermusik class today...

... we actually "trotted" around the room while singing to our babies.

Perhaps sometime in the FAR future, (after a glass of wine or two), I will show you my trotting abilities.

Anna enjoyed herself for the first half... then she got tired and was having none of my trotting anymore.

************************************

So, yeah. Anna cried at some of Mommy's singing. But I'm blaming it on her being tired... not my wonderful Streisand-like voice.

Kindermusik was fun! It was just an hour of singing and a little dancing. Anna's still pretty young, but I think she'll enjoy it.

So - day 3 of Getting Out with Anna Week was also a good one.

And now, I'm sitting on the couch eating and watching PVR'd shows again while Anna naps.

Life is still good.

***Editor's Note.... Here's my friend's response to my email:

"Hahahahaha! THANK YOU for that update! Please paint me the whole picture… what were you singing??"

(My dear friend is quite obviously loving this. Maybe Anna should take note.)

Anna checks out StrollerFit

2010-05-04T15:17:00.004-04:00

Anna's waking up from her afternoon nap... so I only have a quick moment to update you on what's going on in the world of Hez.

Went to StrollerFit today... synopsis: Fun!

I got to chat with other Moms, got outside in the sun with Anna, got some exercise, and at the end of class, got to sit in a circle with the Moms and babies and played with our little ones. It was cute. So I'm really glad I signed up for the class.

Day 2 of Getting Out with Anna Week is a success!

Afterwards, I came home, fed Anna and put her down for a nap. So I got to shower and change. (Woo!) Then I fixed myself a plate of finger foods (like Mama used to make for me when I was little) and sat on the couch eating and watching a PVR'd episode of Oprah.

Life is good.

Anna goes to the movies

2010-04-30T08:59:00.005-04:00

Y'all are gonna think I'm crazy.

Or hormonal.

Or both.

The other day I was venting about how mopey and lonely I am. Today - I'm totally, 100% in love with my life.

Right now, I'm sitting here in Anna's nursery, on our comfy glider, coffee by my side (I've started drinking coffee... I felt like now was a good time in my life to give it the ol' college try), laptop on my lap (ha!), listening to the Sleep Sheep ocean sounds and watching my beautiful daughter nap in her crib.

It's 9:00am, I'm in my jammies (and so is Anna), and we don't plan on rushing around or doing anything we don't feel like today. (Although - we do have plans to go for a walk with Uncle Chris - and we're excited about that!)

What a world we live in.

I get to do this day in and day out for a year. That's pretty amazing.

Yesterday, Anna and I had a very busy day. First, we went to visit my friend Kim and her boys. Kim's 3-year old made a beautiful piece of artwork for Baby Anna - adorned with feathers and jewels. He carefully explained all of the details to Anna in a quiet whisper, as he covered her with kisses. It was quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen.

After that, I had planned on going home and cleaning up before 3 of my friends were dropping by for the evening. But, since it was still relatively early, I decided on a whim to check out this thing called Mommy and Me movies.

There's a local cinema that plays movies for Moms so that they can bring their babies. It's a pretty neat set up. They've got a change table station available, you get your admission at a discounted price, and they play the movie a little bit quieter than normal with the lights just a little bit dimmed.

So I went in, Anna in her car seat, and sat down with my popcorn and drink, ready for the movie to begin. Then Anna started crying. Of course, nobody in the theatre looked at me funny, because they've all been there, too.

Since Anna is the Perfect Baby, all I had to do was throw on the stretchy wrap thingy I have, get her all snuggled up next to me in it, and stand in the back row, swaying back and forth a little bit. The next thing I knew, Anna was asleep and stayed that way for the entire movie.

And even though I didn't have a bottle for her, if she had woken up hungry, I would have felt perfectly at home. (At one point, I looked around the theatre and noticed about 4 moms nursing their babies). No hiding under blankets or hooter hiders... which is so much easier.

So - I've realized something. Despite the fact that I didn't chat much with the other Moms (we were there to watch a movie after all - and most of them brought a friend or Grandma with them anyway), I realized that I love doing Mom things.

I love being with other Moms.

I love this little club. I love the knowing glances and smiles. I love seeing other Moms smother their little ones with kisses. I love sharing our stories and talking about how old our babies are now.

In fact, when I told one Mom that Anna was 3 months old, her response was: "Wow - well, you're doing great if you're out and about already at 3 months."

If she only knew that I'd already been on a road trip, started exercising, planned out a full week of activities next week, been on many play dates, and taken Anna out to eat at a restaurant several times already.

So... yeah. I'd say I'm feeling pretty darn good right now.

Thank you

2010-04-27T13:52:00.002-04:00

To everyone who called me, emailed me, or left a message on my blog - thank you so much. It makes me feel very loved to know you care about me. And, of course, it's good to know I'm not the only one that's felt this way.

Now... onward and upward!

In true Hez fashion, I've gone and booked myself solid for next week:

Monday: Andrew's home... so we'll do some family stuff together.
Tuesday: Stroller Fit starts. I've signed up to exercise with Anna and a group of Moms outside at a park with our babies and strollers. It's run by a personal trainer... and I think we do things like jogging, pushing the stroller up hills, lunges, etc. Should be right up my alley.
Wednesday: Kindermusic class. I got talked into it by a lovely "Miss Mandy" who called and offered me a free class for Anna. I think I may feel silly singing an d dancing around for Anna. But I think Anna's going to love it.
Thursday: "Play date" with my bestie, Kim and her little boys. So glad she's not working full time anymore.
Friday: I'm going to check out a Parks and Rec "Mommy and Baby" yoga class.

So that's that. No more sitting around feeling depressed for me. That's just not how I roll.

I'm also going to check out some more Mommy and Baby classes run by Parks and Rec, I'm going to sign Anna up for swimming when she gets a bit older, I'm going to check out a place called The Little Gym (music and movement stuff) and I've got some dates with other Mamas I know to go to a park, have a picnic, etc.

I'm nipping this damn thing in the bud, yo.

I've moped... now I'm going to do my best to solve the problem.

And now... Anna's telling me she needs her Mommy. So I'm off to do the most important thing I could do any day.

Peanut butter and blah

2010-04-23T16:20:00.004-04:00

Something is happening to me that I keep trying to deny.

...I'm getting a bit down.

Me.

The self-proclaimed happiest-when-pregnant woman ever. And the mama who's over-the-moon-in-love-with-Little-Anna.

So what the hell? Why now? Almost 3 months after having her. When the stress of breastfeeding is but a memory. And the worry of having a wee, 5-pound baby in my care is close to gone, thanks to her hefty thighs and chubby cheeks.

Both Andrew and my mom called me today and I couldn't answer due to the giant lump in my throat. I couldn't talk or else I'd start crying. And then they'd want to know why I was crying. And I wouldn't be able to tell them.

Because I don't know.

I'm a pretty happy person, I think. I love my life. I love my family and my friends. I've got a great home and a good job. And now... now I have the most beautiful little girl in the world who hugs me and snuggles up to me and who needs me. It's an amazing feeling.

So what the heck is wrong with me? What on EARTH do I have to be down about?

It's not that I need or want time alone, away from Anna or Andrew. And it's not that I feel too busy or frazzled.

I guess I'm just not used to some aspects of my new life yet. I'm not used to feeling lonely. I mean, Anna's insanely cute and all, but she's not much of a conversationalist. (Then again, I'm not much of a talker. At all. I hate chatting on the phone for more than 5 minutes.)

Maybe I'm not used to spending day in and day out looking like crap. Not used to never quite knowing where that smell of baby barf and dried milk is coming from. Or not used to worrying about Andrew coming home to a wife in sweats with no makeup and messy hair... and coming home to no dinner because I haven't gotten it together enough to prepare food yet.

(Today I had half a package of crackers smeared with peanut butter and a Starbucks iced tea for lunch. And I went out for a walk to pick up that iced tea in pants with cat hair all over them and a t-shirt that has never seen the light of day before, for good reason.

Oh yeah. I've really got it together.)

Anyway. I'm okay. I really am.

I just... get down from time to time. And I'd wager a bet that I'm not the only new mom to feel this way.

So, tonight... I'm off to do what I know best in times of blah-ness. I'm off to go for a jog.

And when I come back, I hope I'm a better mom and wife.

Excuses, excuses

2010-04-22T14:56:00.002-04:00

Isn't it so easy to find every excuse in the book to not do something?

That's my problem of late.

When it comes to blogging, I've been telling myself that it'll have to wait. Because I've got laundry to do. Or I need a nap. I should really get outside. Or maybe I need to sit on the couch and catch up on my PVR'd Oprah shows.

But this is my passion. This is writing - for myself.

It's something I absolutely love to do. And something I can keep forever. Moments and memories and funny things I can remember - just by reading my written word. And it's something that I can pass on to Anna, too.

The other day, my Mom sent me a link to a blog that a guy my age, living in the city I live in, wrote. His blog was discovered and turned into a book. Now he's got the CEO of Chapters choosing his book as one of her favourites, and he's been on TV.

I remember thinking "That guy is me. That should be me." But it's not.

It ain't going to happen if I don't follow my passion.

So I'm dusting off the old laptop as Anna sleeps on my chest right now. And I'm going for it.

Even if it's just for me and Anna.

Things

2010-04-13T08:34:00.002-04:00

Here are a few interesting facts about me and Anna:

Each day, Anna wakes up to eat around 5am or 6am. After that, we take a morning nap together.
Snuggling up next to Anna for a morning nap is one of the best ways to sleep. Ever.
Anna sometimes cries in her sleep. Just a short little wail, and then it's over. It breaks my heart - but it's also really cute.
Andrew and I try not to laugh at Anna when she cries - but she makes the CUTEST face ever when she gets a bit fussy. We refer to it as The Super Sad Face. (Her mouth crumples into this big frown... so funny).
I seem to have nothing to talk about but Anna anymore. Hmmmm. Is this what happens when you become a parent?
Meh. Guess I'll just roll with it.
In other Anna news... Anna's going for her first road trip this weekend! We're heading to Ottawa to meet some of my family. She MUST know her cousins and great aunts and uncles.
I'm a teensy bit nervous about how she'll be on a 5 hour car ride and then not in her familiar surroundings. But she's gotta get out in the world. And Mama will be by her side.

That's about it. Anna's currently napping. So, I'm off to empty the dishwasher, maybe run a brush through my hair and brush my teeth**. It's a good day, folks!

**On a side note... The other day, as I was out for coffee with a friend (and Anna), I realized that I hadn't remembered to brush my teeth before leaving the house. That would never, ever have happened in the past. Now? I've got so much "stuff" to remember to bring for Anna (I better bring a bib in case she spits up... where's her bottle?.... oh, she might need a toy to look at...) that my personal hygiene seems to be put on the back burner. I actually went out for a walk yesterday wearing a shirt that had been freshly puked on. Up until now, I would change my shirt. Yesterday? I just said "Eff this" and wiped the puke off.

Classy.

Date Night Success

2010-04-08T11:24:00.005-04:00

So, I survived my first night away from The Buttertart.

(That's my new name for Anna).

Andrew and I had a really great time out in the Real World. We walked around the downtown core, pretending to be adults without a child. I felt like everyone could just tell that I was a Mama, though. (And I didn't even have puke on my shoulder to prove it).

The last time I was downtown walking around with Andrew was when I was pregnant. People look at you and smile more when you're pregnant. But having my little Anna in the world now is a much better feeling.

So, we spent the evening dining on sushi, chatting, enjoying a beer, and talking. Yes, most of our conversation revolved around Anna. But we found some time to talk about the things we used to chat about, too.

In the end, however, we agreed... Talking about Anna is a whole lot more fun.

Just look at the adorable, cute squishy-ness that is Anna.

Well Baby

2010-04-06T13:50:00.004-04:00

Anna had her 2-month Well Baby appointment with the doctor today. The kind of appointment that involves baby's first vaccinations. Anna did great. Mama got all sweaty through her sweater due to stress.

Anyway, a quick update on the wee one:

- Anna is now 11 lbs., 3 oz. and 23 inches long. She's in the 75th percentile. Good baby!

- She's developing a flat head at the back of her noggin, due to lying on her back all the time. But the doctor says it'll even out as she spends more time moving around and on her tummy.

- Everything is perfect... her eyes, her ears, her tummy and her sleeping and eating habits. She's even cooing a lot now. She likes to talk to her Mama and Daddy all the time. (Cute!!)

- When she had her vaccinations, you could tell exactly when she felt the needle prick her chubby little thigh by the look on her face. Then she started wailing away. But 5 minutes later, she was fine. Seems like she's going to be just fine with the whole needle thing.

(However, I still brought her home, fed her, cuddled her, and then wrapped her up in my stretchy wrap baby carrier thing so she can snuggle up next to my chest and sleep the afternoon away attached to a warm body.)

That might be more for Mama then it is for Anna's sake.

Tonight just happens to be the first night that Andrew and I are getting out for our first date night, too. (We've got tickets... otherwise, I wouldn't leave Anna after being vaccinated. Even though she seems totally fine.)

So... Grandma to the rescue! My Mom took the afternoon off of work and is coming by to hang out with us... then I'll leave to go get Andrew from work and head out for Date Night.

Andrew and I have a feeling we're not going to be able to talk about anything but Anna while we're gone tonight.

Wish us luck, folks.

Anna sleeps

2010-03-30T10:34:00.005-04:00

Welcome to your weekly fix of cuteness. Yay! Anna pictures!

My goodness it's exhausting looking this cute.

Sooo... tired. So very tired.

I'm not waking up, Mama. So leave me alone, please. Night night.

Okay, seriously. I said night night.

Snore fest

2010-03-26T12:55:00.006-04:00

I'm sitting here listening to Anna snore right now. Quite loudly, too.

And, just like the fan that I find absolutely necessary at night time, her snoring is soothing me to sleep. I'm getting drowsier and drowsier. Therefore, this post is going to be a little bit less than exciting, as I'm feeling kind of coma-like. My apologies.

However, one special thing to note:

On this, the twenty-sixth day of March, in the year two-thousand and ten, my little Anna put herself to sleep in her crib for a morning nap.

My goodness, she's advanced.

Seriously. She's only 7 weeks old and still quite little and in need of a lot of attention. But this morning, after I snuggled with her, read her a story and rocked her in the glider in her nursery, I put her down on her soft flannel sheet in her crib with her soother and she lay there, happy and content for a half an hour before peacefully drifting off to sleep on her own.

I am so lucky.

I'm sure if I have another baby, he or she will be the opposite of Anna. So I'm soaking up all the wonderful-ness that is Anna as much as I can.

She's perfect. She's the perfect baby. I have given birth to the perfect child.

Okay - enough with that. I don't want to get too annoying. Time for me to shut my eyes and drift off to sleep myself. To the sounds of baby snores.

So cute.

My current view, looking down.

Anna takes a bath

2010-03-23T15:36:00.004-04:00

Okay, so I'm naked here... but I'm not cold. This is kind of odd.

Yes. Very odd. But I think I like it.

Oooo... yes! Yes, I do like this! Mommy and Daddy - you guys rock.

The weekly update

2010-03-22T15:36:00.004-04:00

I hope to do this blogging thing more often.

It'll happen...

I think.

Anyway, this just in from the world of Anna - She's cute! (As if you needed me to give you that update. We all know that, now don't we?)

Anna's napping right now. She's pretty sleepy today. As is her Mama. Anna napped when I took her for a walk to Shopper's. She napped when we got home. We napped together for an hour. And she fell promptly asleep after eating lunch. That's a sleepy baby!

She appears to be stirring right now. So I better make this quick...

Anna makes these crazy grunting noises when she's waking up. She actually makes them in her sleep, too. When she was first born and we brought her home, I was pretty worried that something was wrong. I thought she maybe had bad gas, I thought she couldn't breathe properly. Then I discovered (after asking my midwife) that the grunting noise was just something babies do.

I felt sorta dumb for asking. But there you go. Welcome to Motherhood.

I don't know anything about this little human being. So I'm constantly questioning my decisions and worrying about her development. Every little sound, every little habit she gets into... I'm always wondering if I'm doing it right. (I've heard this never goes away. Like... ever.)

I worry if she's sleeping enough (I'm not worrying about that today, of course). I worry if she's eating enough. I worry about if I'm talking to her or holding her enough. I worry about whether she's being intellectually stimulated enough. I worry about whether my milk is tainted with spicy foods or too much caffeine.

In short - I'm a bit neurotic.

But I feel like I have to be. She's relying on me. She can't do anything for herself yet. (Except for stretch. Which? Baby stretches are the CUTEST stretches in the world, I have to say).

She needs me so much right now. She needs to be held and loved and sung to and smiled at. She needs someone to tell her how beautiful she is. She needs to hear "Mommy's here" when she's sad. She needs lots of food. And warm arms to sleep in.

She needs me.

And I've discovered...

I really need her, too.

I've showered today. Woo!

2010-03-15T13:41:00.004-04:00

***Editor's note: I've been trying to write this blog post for 3 days. Seriously. Most of my time is spent feeding, changing, or rocking Anna to sleep. When she's finally asleep, I usually have to eat something, shower (if I'm lucky), do some laundry, or some other chore around the house. So blogging is no longer as easy as it once was. My apologies folks! But for now - let's get back to this (ir)regularly (un)scheduled blog.***

Another day. Home with my Anna.

Today is a good day. We've managed to take a mini-morning nap together, we went for a long walk and she slept soundly while Mama showered and ate her lunch. Hurrah! (I celebrate the little things.)

So little Anna is 6 weeks old this week (as of Thursday). And, even though it's super cliche, I have to say it... I honestly can't believe how fast the time has gone so far.

I haven't been home from work or school for 6 consecutive weeks since I was a kid without a part-time job. 6 weeks! That's a LONG time. But it hasn't felt like a long time at all. The time with my little munchkin is flying by.

This worries me somewhat. I don't want the whole year to go by in a blink because I'm totally loving the stay at home Mom thing so far. (I know, I know - it's only been 6 weeks. But still. I can tell I've got something good going on here.)

Who am I kidding? I've got something amazing. I've got a daughter.

Anyway - since I'm horrible at keeping up-to-date with things so far, I haven't written anything down in Anna's baby book. Which is why I'm going to start documenting it all here in the blog. In a little section I like to call:

Cute Things Anna Has Done So Far

She started smiling in reaction to her Mommy and Daddy as of March 12th. Before that, all the smiles she dished out were when she was drifting off to sleep (so her eyes were closed) or are attributed to gas and poop. This was her first honest-to-goodness smile. And it was directed at my face! Incredible feeling I tell you.
She's now 10 lbs. 2 oz. at 6 weeks old. She's a champ when it comes to eating. Just like her Mommy and Daddy. We're so proud.
She loves to snuggle. Anna will burrow her head into my neck and wrap her little arms around my arm and neck while she drifts off to sleep. Again - amazing feeling.
She's getting more and more alert now. She loves looking up at her play gym and gazing around at lights and shapes. She's very advanced for her age. (That's what Daddy and I think, anyway.)
Basically, she's just the cutest little thing in the universe.

Which is why we love her to bits and pieces.

How could you not?

It's about friggin' time

2010-03-12T14:03:00.009-05:00

I'm back, folks!

Now was that a long hiatus or what?? Of course, I'm sure you can all appreciate and understand WHY I took so darn long to get back to blogging. My little squishy baby is quite demanding, yo! She's just lucky she's so cute.

Anywho. So what's been going on since I last left you? Well. For anyone who hasn't heard me blather on about the full birth story (without the gory details, of course) - here it is.

On Wednesday night - February the 3rd - I went out for dinner with two friends. As we were chatting, one of my friends was surprised to hear I hadn't packed my hospital bag yet.

"I have loads of time still! I have 2 weeks off work before my due date." I assured her. "Besides, even if she comes early, I'll still have time. In fact, I could go into labour tomorrow and I'd still have lots of time to pack my bag."

Now there's some powerful foreshadowing for you, folks.

The next morning, my alarm went off at 6am. And as I got out of bed, I felt some sort of gush of liquid come out from my nether regions. (That's as gory as I'll get - I promise).

Since it was still 2 weeks until my due date (2 weeks and 2 days to be exact) and since only like 8% of pregnant women have their water break on their own, I just figured I had peed myself. (Not totally unlikely during my pregnancy. Definitely not the first time - that's all I'll say.)

When the trickling down my leg didn't stop, I figured it couldn't be pee. But Andrew and I both decided that even if it was the start of labour, we STILL had loads of time. So he went to work. And I called my Mom. And then my midwife.

My midwife told me to just relax, get some sleep, spend some time resting in bed - and only to call her back if my contractions are close together or if I can't feel the baby move in my tummy anymore.

Of course, as soon as she said that - I started obsessing about feeling no movement.

At the same time, my contractions had started and were coming fast and hard.

So I called my midwife back and she told me to come to the hospital. At this point, I realized I did NOT have loads of time to pack my hospital bag.

So I called Andrew to come home, ran around my room finding things to throw in my bag, and tried to ignore the trickling of water soaking my underpants and the painful, painful contractions.

Labour. It's glamorous.

Anyway. So we got to the hospital at 10:30am. My midwife checked the baby. (She was doing just fine. She was quite happy, actually.) And she told me I was already 3cm dilated, so I should probably stay at the hospital.

I wasn't leaving until I had a baby.

(Oh. My. God.)

Then I spent the next hour and a bit walking around the halls, trying to get through the intense contraction pain. I even sat in the shower in my labour room. Nothing quite did the trick though (the pain of contractions? Yeah - it's the WORST PAIN EVER.) So I finally asked for the epidural.

I got my lovely, lovely epidural when I was around 6cm dilated. And within an hour, I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing. (It was at that moment that I thought to myself "Holy crap. I really have to be ready now. She's coming. Am I ready? Holy crap.") (Why I waited until I had to start pushing to consider if I was ready to have a baby or not is beyond me. But hey - I went with it.)

So I pushed for just over 2 hours and out came Anna at 5:40pm.

With a giant, giant cone head.

But she was still the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Andrew and I cried a little and then spent the next hour or so staring at her in awe.

Ever since then, our entire world has been about Anna. Everything I do, and all my energy each day, goes towards Mothering this little adorable being.

And in return - she amazes me. With her gorgeous little lips. Her cute nose. The funny faces she makes. Her sweet little chubby cheeks. Her pudgy thighs and wrists. The sounds she makes. The way she stretches. The look on her face when we bathe her. And the way she looks happy and drunk on milk right after nursing.

Everything about her is simply amazing.

I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy. I've spent my fair share of time stressed out and crying. I've never been so exhausted in my life. And I hate that my house is dirty and I can't shower until around 3 or 4pm most days. I've had to comb baby puke out of my hair more than once. And it's really, really hard to get a decent meal.

All of this while caring for a baby who doesn't really do anything except eat, poo and sleep.

But it's so worth it. Especially on days like today. When she looked up at my face and smiled a huge, gummy grin for the very first time.

Yep. It's all so very worth it.

Have I lost all my readers?

2010-02-19T12:55:00.004-05:00

I promise I'm coming back soon to blog. I've just been a little preoccupied, shall we say.

Let's see... what's happened? Well... after my last blog, the very next morning my water broke at 6am. 2 weeks and 2 days early.

Needless to say, I was not prepared.

Since then, I've been trying to figure out this whole Mama thing. It's taking time. And so, my blog has gone by the wayside a little.

But, as my little gorgeous daughter and I figure things out together, I get more and more comfortable, and can foresee some up-coming time to blog.

I promise.

Until then, I hope this picture holds you over.

So you're thinking of getting pregnant?

2010-02-03T07:57:00.003-05:00

After 8 and a half months of pregnancy, I feel it's my responsibility - nay, my OBLIGATION - to spread the word about some of the lesser-known symptoms that can be experienced by the average woman during gestation.

Sure, there's the heartburn and the bloating and the crazy hormones. But, there are also so many other... *ahem*, interesting things that happen to your body that nobody really talks about.

And so - I am here to talk about these things.

The good. The bad. The leaky. Behold!

Hez's list of pregnancy symptoms that nobody talks about:

Leaking boobs. This one tops the list because it was JUST. SO. BIZARRE. I knew that milk came out of your boobs when you breastfed your baby. But I assumed that all happened AFTER the baby arrived. I was completely unaware that your boobs could start squirting stuff (and staining your clothes at the same time) as early as 6 months into the pregnancy. So weird.

Stuffy nose. The kind of stuffy that causes your nose to whistle all night long. Yeah. The pleasant kind. Also, it's the kind of stuffy that doesn't have any known cure. For example, when you try to blow it, absolutely NOTHING comes out. Yet, you're still stuffy. You know that type? Enjoyable, isn't it? I actually thought that my nose might wake Andrew up this morning, it was whistling so loud.

Increased boogies. I'll gloss over this one, as mucous makes me sick. But this must be discussed - as it seems in direct conflict to the last point I mentioned. Yet, somehow - it happens. My nose is stuffy one day. The next, I keep finding bats in the cave every time I look in the mirror. Embarrassing much??

Glorious, luxurious locks. This is one I'm quite pleased to find has happened to me. I had no idea that you stopped losing your hair when you're pregnant. But it's true. And the end result? My hair has been thick and fabulous for the past 8 months! I love it. Each morning, I blow dry it, give my head a little "shampoo-commercial" toss and smile at my gorgeous self, feeling ready to face the day.

The cankle - but only on one side. I've heard about your feet and hands swelling up. I've heard about women getting majorly swelled ankles. But I didn't realize it could happen on one leg only. It happens, apparently. On one leg, I've got my nice, shapely ankle. On the other, I've got a calf that just keeps going, allllll the way down to my foot. Gotta say: no offence to women with cankles regularly, but - yow. That just ain't pretty. Especially on one side only. It's giving me some kind of unbalanced, Quasimodo-type effect. Beauty.

Month-long eye twitch. I'm not overly tired. I'm definitely not stressed. Yet - I've got an eye twitch that just won't quit. It comes and goes, mind you. But still. Over a month - going on a month and a half now - and it still pops up now and again. It's got something to do with your nerves and such. Or so my midwife says. At least I know I'm not crazy.

Feeling fantastic. This one sounds kind of odd... but I don't know how else to describe it. I feel so good most of the time. My hair is nice. My skin is glowing. I feel more feminine with my new, rounder shape. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm still sleeping. All the other stuff (and, by the way, there is much more happening that I'll save for another day...) just doesn't seem to matter. I have so much to look forward to and I just can't help but be excited every day and let the good outweigh the bad.

So. That's about it for now. I'll leave some things off the list for a few reasons: 1) My poor brother reads this blog and I KNOW he doesn't want to know about some of these things. 2) There's got to be some mystery behind the pregnancy thing, no? And, 3) Most things really pale in comparison to the awesomeness of knowing you've got a little baby coming. A baby! A real, live mini-me and Andrew.

So. Freaking. Cool.

Zzzzzz...

2010-02-02T14:52:00.002-05:00

Having a very busy day at work. Just getting 5 minutes to myself right now. Aaaaaannd........ I'm about to crash.

Tired. Exhausted. Wiped. Worn out.

Thank goodness I only have 3 more days of this working thing.

(Of course, as a friend pointed out to me, then the REAL work begins.)

Homework

2010-02-01T08:15:00.004-05:00

Well, it's 8:15am - and I'm already sitting at my computer, in my "office", ready for work to start.

I'm working from home today. (Have a midwife appointment smack-dab in the middle of the day). So, rather than waste several productive hours commuting, I'm working from my trusty Mac in the comfort of my home. Sweet.

Already today I've driven Andrew to work, had breakfast, checked work email, taken a shower and dried my hair, gotten dressed and put a load of laundry on. All before 8:15am. Look how fabulous I am!

Anyway. I'll let you know how the 37-week midwife appointment goes. I think it'll be

pretty standard stuff (save for the weighing in part... I have not been very good about watching what I eat lately. Sigh.)

Ah well. You gotta focus on the good things. Like my morning accomplishments so far.

Methinks a trip to Starbucks is in order for a little "yay me" celebration...

37 weeks. You know what that means?

2010-01-29T15:23:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow, I'll be 37 weeks preggers.

Which means...

...I will be officially FULL TERM.

...I'm feeling rather fat and frumpy.

...I could have this baby at any moment.

...wee one is all developed enough and ready to spring from my loins.

...one way or another, I'll be a real Mama in 4 weeks or less.

Oh. My. Goodness.

GO Train Archetypes

2010-01-28T09:44:00.005-05:00

Over the past several years that I've been trucking it back and forth on the GO train, I've come across many different types of unnaturally annoying people.

In my travels, I've observed these folks from afar. And now, for your benefit, (should you choose to ride the GO train one day), I will document said archetypal GO train riders. Be sure to watch out for the following:

The Slurper
This type of rider is the guy that's so caught up in his own little world that he doesn't notice (or doesn't care) how loud he's being while sipping his morning cup of java (or any other hot beverage of his choosing). I had the pleasure of sitting next to this guy one day. Let me tell you - while trying to read a book to pass the time on your commute, there's nothing more annoying than listening to "Slllllllllurrrrrrrrrrrrppppp.... Aaaaaaah!" after each. And. Every. Single. Sip. I'm not kidding. EVERY sip he took from his cup would be accompanied by a LOUD slurp and a sigh of pleasure.
Best way to deal: I tried shooting him annoyed glances. Didn't seem to have any affect on the dude. My advice? Put your headphones on and listen to some music - cause this guy is NOT going to stop enjoying his beverage for you.

The Loud Yawner
One morning (again while trying to read), I encountered this lovely rider. She seemed to be unfortunately suffering from a lack of sleep. It happens. Not going to fault her for that. However, she also seemed to be suffering from a lack of volume control over her yawns. She yawned in very regular patterns the entire train ride - and each yawn concluded with a very loud, very annoying sound that can only be described as a half-sigh, half-snore type noise. So. Yes. I sat there, trying to ignore the odd noise that she uttered over and over again. But - much like Chinese Water Torture - the regular pattern of yawning noises eventually got to me.
Best way to deal: The Loud Yawner may notice your annoyed glances, but they seem to have no control over the whole experience. She looked at me as if to say "I can't help my yawning!" And even though I shot her a look that said "I know you can't help your yawning, but could you do something about that sigh/snore noise you're uttering?" she kept right on doing it. Go for the music/headphones again.

The Arm Rest Stealer
Kind of self-explanatory with this dude. He has no concept of personal space and absolutely NEEDS to spread out in his seat - much further than is socially acceptable. He doesn't care if you're crammed and uncomfortable in your seat. Nope. Not one, little bit. So don't expect a little arm shove or a loud sigh to have any affect on him.
Best way to deal: There's not much you can do if you have the unfortunate "pleasure" of sitting next to this rider. Might as well just suck it up. And next time, make sure you look before you choose your seat. If you see The Arm Rest Stealer spread out - keep moving. Also, watch for these guys: The Long Leg Stretchy Rider and The Heavily Laden With Bags and Other Paraphernalia Rider. Just as annoying as The Arm Rest Stealer.

The Crazy Cat Lady
This rider isn't usually found on the train during rush hour. She keeps irregular hours. So, I encountered her one day after I had an appointment, when I was commuting into work much later than normal. Crazy Cat Lady was covered in cat hair from her knees down. She had a giant bag of cross-stitch materials and was designing some lovely cat art to pass the time away. Her big, grey hair was swept up into a very messy bun. The crumbs on her Northern Reflections sweater seemed to call out to the world "I don't care how I look. I'm eccentric, dammit!" And her loud, awkward humming and toe-tapping (to no music, mind you) confirmed that she was in her own little world.
Best way to deal: Try to avoid eye-contact with Crazy Cat Lady, lest she involve you in a lengthy conversation about her 22 cats or the finer points of cross-stitching. Just put your head down and go about your business. Of course, if you want to be polite, you can offer a small smile in her direction as you're leaving the train. But, again, you want to avoid as much contact with her, just to be on the safe side.

Schmoopie

2010-01-26T09:01:00.003-05:00

Today, my blog is devoted to my pookie.

Poor Andrew is home sick with an achy body and an upset stomach. I've been nagging him off and on to go to the doctor. I've insisted he try some soup and drink lots of water. (I'm taking care of your son, Kathy... don't worry!) But he's still not feeling well.

So, hopefully this little anecdote will lift his spirits.

Yesterday, on Facebook, I changed my status update to: "Hez has a nice hubby." This was prompted by Andrew's very kindly offer to go into work a little bit late so that he could drive his pregnant wife to the GO train, thus allowing me to avoid trudging through the rain. So sweet.

My status update received a few comments from friends and family... the best one, hands down, from Andrew's aunt Bev.

Bev had this to say:

'A quick story about Andrew: A couple of years ago at Dan's 50th (you weren't able to be there) my friends and I were all complaining about our "muffin tops". Andrew walked past the group, stopped, and said " But ladies, that's the best part of the muffin!". They still ask about him to this day!'

I knew there was a reason I married that boy.

Good Monday Morning

2010-01-25T09:01:00.004-05:00

Good morning everyone. And how are you on this rainy Monday morning?

In lieu of writing anything involving (as it's Monday and I'm still in my start-of-the-week-fog), here are a few fun facts about me:

I still have an eye twitch. It has been present (off and on) since well before Christmas. Considering that it's now January 25th, and my eye is still twitching, I'm about to snap.
I only have two more Mondays left at work. TWO!! Holy crap.
The family birthdays are well under way. Between January and February, and between Andrew's family and mine, we have 7 birthdays to celebrate. That's a lot of celebrating. Kind of exhausting, really.
Umm... what else?
Not much else to report.
So I'm going to sign off now.
Bye!

Confessions

2010-01-22T09:44:00.005-05:00

A while back, I had "Confession Fridays". It didn't really catch on. I guess I didn't feel like airing my dirty laundry in blogger-land every single Friday for all of my dear readers to point and judge and look disapprovingly at their computer screens/indirectly at me.

But - I'm over that now.

Time for "Confession Friday" again!

My confessions for today are as follows:

I have been fully sucked in by the belief that creams and ointments will get rid of my stretch marks. And thusly, I slather myself with some kind of body butter and, more recently, a sticky Vitamin E oil every morning, in hopes that the horrid red stretchies on my hips will go away.
I have been consumed by all things baby. I'm reading a giant baby book. I blather on about my pregnancy on Facebook and here in my blog. I'm already losing my identity as Hez. Now I'm just "pregnant Hez who's about to have a baby". I bet people are secretly tired of listening to me.
I came into work at 9:30am today. Instead of 8:30am like I usually do. Shhh... don't tell the boss-man.
Lately, I'm very, very annoyed by almost all of the people who ride the GO train every day. I've uttered the phrase "I hate people" more than once in the past few weeks. (Ugh!!! Who am I becoming??)
I haven't had my nether region waxed in lord knows how long. I'll just say this: it ain't pretty.
On that note... I don't care who knows this little tid-bit about me: There is nothing like a completely hair-free butt-hole. You get that bad boy waxed and you're never going back, folks. I promise you. It's one of my ultimate favourite things.
Now you know I like my butt-hole to be hair-free. Will you ever look at me the same way again? Probably not.

Hmmm... I think that's as fine a place as any to end today's blog.

Yes. A fine place, indeed.

***EDITED TO ADD*** Wait! I just realized I *do* care who knows that last little tid-bit about me. I really, sincerely hope Doris doesn't continue to read my blog and/or come across that piece of info. about me. As cool as Doris is, she doesn't need or want to know about my bum. Doris - if you read that, my humblest apologies.

Update

2010-01-21T08:58:00.006-05:00

I've got to get better with the uploading of pics to my blog. I promise... I will. I'll try especially hard when I have a wee one here to fawn over and take millions of pictures of.

For now - I present you this: a picture of my belly at 35 weeks, 5 days. In black and white for extra "cool" effect.

Whoa, nelly! She's a big'un. That's 34 pounds of belly right there, folks. Impressive, isn't it??

Anyway - a quick update on me:

How far along: Just shy of 36 weeks. (I'll be 36 weeks on Saturday). Technically, you're considered "full term" when you're 37 weeks. My estimated due date is when I'm 40 weeks. So we're definitely in the home stretch now!

Weight gain: 34.5 lbs. to be exact. Woo! Now y'all know why I'm moving much slower.

New things: I'm getting lots of Braxton Hicks contractions lately. Those are the "fake" contractions that don't really mean much, apparently. My belly gets all tight and rock solid for 30 seconds or so and then it goes away. Sometimes it's accompanied by some lower back and abdominal crampy feelings. My midwife says it's just my body's way of prepping for labour. (But this can happen to some women from as early as the end of their first trimester... so it doesn't mean anything in terms of me going into labour just yet.)

Good reads: I just picked up "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears and Dr. Sears (husband and wife team) who coined the "attachment parenting" term. I'm not 100% sure I'm into all that he has to say about attachment parenting, but this book has absolutely EVERYTHING you need to know about your baby's development from birth to age 2. I was starting to worry a little that I didn't know things like when to introduce foods, or when my baby would start to get teeth, etc. This book is going to be a lifesaver to me, I can tell.

Other news: Only 2 weeks and 2 days left of work. Then I'm off for a year! Can we say a big "Hurrah!" for Hez??

That's about it. All is right as rain and ticking along just fine. Woo!